THE WARM PORCELAIN SKIN
Chapters Index
THE ANNUNCIATION OF THE ANGEL
My mom always told me
that when she was a child her family was very poor, like those ragged people in
the photos of the Victorian era. They could never buy her a doll, so she made
them herself with old clothes, sawdust, and skeins of wool... And they looked
cute. She wishes she had something better but didn't really feel sad about it,
she says she knew dolls only serve to entertain girls until it's time to be
mothers and wives in real life. And she knew she would get married very soon.
My dad, much older than her, had asked my grandparents for her since she was
born simply because she had blue eyes; and since my father had his own house
and a stable job, they promised her to him. I never asked her if she agreed
with that union, I don't think she ever asked herself, especially when she got
her own house and two children, a boy and a girl. Mom saw it as the greatest
success a woman could get. Having a house, a husband, a son, and a daughter.
She often told me that it was worth far more than any of her other accomplishments
and even more than her own life.
She stopped telling me
this years later, after my brother and I left the house and distanced ourselves
from her, leaving her alone with Dad. He later got a mistress almost my age who
didn't want to marry or have children. She said she wouldn't complain because
it would show my father and me what it means to be a good Christian wife,
always forgiving him. I think that would have been fine if we lived in 1890,
but she told me this in 2021 and when your community looks too different from
what the rest of the world is considered normal, and that makes you
uncomfortable, it means that something is going very wrong.
I was born on Celes, a
very conservative tropical island in such a remote part of the Pacific Ocean
that it seems inaccessible. I know that when you hear "tropical" you
imagine a cheerful and sunny atmosphere, but in reality, most of the island is
a misty plateau whose coast is made up of high cliffs and a very small beach;
The atmosphere is rather mysterious, like an eternal rainy summer, and growing
up here was a strange experience. Technology was scarce, but we had an old
cinema and a television from the 90's at home where we saw what life was like
in the continental lands; it looked so different from ours that it had hardly
changed since the 1900's; Here women continued to wear long skirts and men
dressed in frock coats and hats. With my mother we watched many soap operas, of
course the Celes government only allowed those of the time that seemed more
familiar to us to be broadcast, those of Victorian ladies who lived in palaces
like those of Gardenia, the capital city. Young ladies with blue eyes like my mother's,
curly hair, and lace-adorned dresses, were reminiscent of my porcelain dolls,
which Mom bought for me so that I wouldn't feel the lack she experienced in her
own childhood.
When I was very young, I
believed that growing up would transform me into a soap opera heroine. I
imagined it would only take a romantic western dress to prepare me for the
moment when a passionate man on a grand black horse would fall in love with me.
My older brother, Cyan, three years my senior, was admired by girls for his
manly demeanor, lustrous black hair, and strikingly blue eyes; despite his
pride and aloofness, which kept him from returning their affections. He once
teased me with a smirk:
—You
know, those dresses aren't exactly designed for someone with your linebacker
build. And hey, you're a 'Hot Pot' girl; the cheongsam is what really fits you.
Feeling my cheeks heat up
with irritation, I shot back, "I'm not just a 'Hot Pot Girl'," fully
aware he was using our local term for those of us from Celes' countryside. He
then took me by the arm, leading me to a mirror where he placed me next to a
poster of a soap opera star. Until then I became aware of what it meant to call
myself Yanmei Fèng and to have been born in the "Hot Pot" founded a
couple of centuries ago in the countryside by Chinese immigrants, my father's
ancestors... and mine. Mom was mixed-race, Cyan looked like her, our cousins on
the mother's side were white and light-haired; but I was the same as my father,
a native of the Hot Pot. My skin was not white, but the color of
mother-of-pearl and although my hair looked slightly reddish, my almond-shaped
eyes were black as night. I remember that at that moment I thought I was in
serious trouble, I knew that life in Celes was not going to be easy for me
because I belonged to the group of people who were always given comic roles or
villains on TV. I ran to cry inconsolably to my room and stayed there until
Aunt Norma, my mother's cousin, arrived. She resided in Adalsteinn, a village
deep within the mountains, famous for its miners and goldsmiths, where the
people were known as 'Mystics' for their deep understanding of the earth's
hidden treasures. My aunt, with her striking height and vibrant red hair, bore
the legacy of ancient Nordic mariners in her features and the stories she told,
though her life was now tied to the earth beneath the mountains rather than the
sea. Her knowledge of healing with crystals and herbs was not from the sea but
from the land, skills she had refined through years of living amongst the
minerals and plants. As the island's most revered midwife, she had welcomed me
into the world and was even occasionally my wet nurse; so Mom always called her
when Cyan and I got sick. It turned out that when I started crying in anguish,
Cyan was scared and didn't want to tell Mom what he had told me; So, he just
lied to her saying my belly hurt. My aunt came with a concoction, I refused to
drink it, climbed on her lap and explained what was wrong with me. She hugged
me tightly on her chest and told me to never say I was ashamed of the Hot Pot
again.
She told me that when my
city was founded centuries ago, the natives did not believe that it would
prosper, especially since the kings had mockingly sent the newcomers to settle
inside a large volcanic crater still active, with fumaroles and geysers everywhere.
It is said that the people of Gardenia joked saying: "go cook with the
Chinese at the Hot Pot", as they called the old crater. But to everyone's
surprise, the immigrants managed to adapt to the terrible conditions of the
place and shut the mouths of those who mocked them as they adorned the once
hellish landscape with beautiful richly ornamented buildings, fountains of
vaporous water and cobblestone streets. What was once a joke, became a walled
city of tough men that no one could defeat and ended up forming the army of
Celes who with their sober blue military uniforms protected the entire island;
A powerful new community of Celestines. She made me see that in addition to my
native Mystical heritage, I had the heritage of the unbeatable immigrants, and
she also told me that there was something special about me: my skin was the
most beautiful of the whole family because it was beautiful as a doll's. Since
then, I began to take care of it so that remains smooth and impeccable, because
that would be the currency to obtain my success as a wife and mother. That
event of my childhood largely shaped my tenacious, aggressive, and at the same
time very feminine character.
When I was eight years
old, I fell in love for the first time and that was the beginning of "my
woman's path". In Celes, the government operates under a unique system.
Given that my father was a high-ranking military officer in the Celestine army,
which was based in the Hot Pot, I often found myself privy to political
discussions of the island. I quickly learned that our governance was led by a
queen, who delegated her authority to a council of ministers, with a prime
minister at its helm. This role, due to pervasive nepotism, had essentially
become hereditary. My parents hadn't told me everything, but years ago the
prime minister was assassinated, leaving her newborn son an orphan. In an
unprecedented move, as soon as the infant, Eiden Ishikawa, learned to speak, he
was symbolically placed in his mother's former position, although actual
governance was managed by a regent or council. Growing up, my generation
watched this child, our age, dressed in ceremonial robes, occasionally
delivering speeches to the nation, and I loved watching him. Eiden, of Japanese
and European descent, was a cute boy with glasses and a beautiful smile. One
day Cyan and I were doing our homework at our military school lying on the
floor in front of the television while Mom, already clad in her austere blue
military uniform, was preparing to head to her job at Celes' army call center,
when the soap opera was cut off for a national broadcast featuring Eiden. That
day, for some reason, he seemed particularly adorable to me. I blurted out to
my mom and brother:
—When
I grow up, I will marry Eiden Ishikawa! I'm in love with him!
Cyan, with a look of
overprotective indignation, quickly turned to our mom:
—Did
you hear her? She's talking about marrying someone she barely knows!
She came over and wrapped
us in a hug, saying she'd never stand in our way when it came to love because
she wanted us to choose our own life partners. Back then I didn’t pay attention
to her words of support, years later, in a moment of quiet reflection, she
shared why she had made such a promise. Her mother, my grandmother, was the
younger sister of my aunt Norma's mother. She lived in Adalsteinn until one day
she had to travel to Gardenia for errands. There, my grandfather, a soldier
from Hot Pot, saw her and 'stole her away'. Mom recounts this story, hardly
trying to inject humor into the narrative, but the grim reality was that my
grandfather had kidnapped and raped my grandmother. When she was finally able
to return to her village, my great-grandparents, in an attempt to 'rectify' the
situation, forced her to marry her assailant. Mom told me that my grandmother
was deeply unhappy, and Grandpa was a distant man who when asked for his
newborn daughter as a wife, he didn't even hesitate to accept. She also shared
that as she grew up, my grandmother lived in constant fear that her husband
might attempt to rape her own daughter. This fear drove her to urge my father
to take my mother away as soon as possible. Dad, initially reluctant, expressed
his desire to wait until Mom was older and more mature before considering
marriage. It was then that my grandmother had to reveal the harsh reality of
their situation to him. Then my father, driven by a mix of anger and resolve,
shot my grandfather dead and told my mother and grandmother that now they could
wait for the moment of the wedding in peace. From that day on, the mystics of
the mountain range were good friends with my father and accepted him as one of
their own, and Mom decided that her children would have to marry for love.
That story, along with
Dad's occasionally overbearing and conceited demeanor—who, despite everything,
I've always loved deeply but recognize as somewhat silly—and my brother Cyan's
aloofness, began to shape my interactions with men, making me somewhat more
guarded and aggressive. If I didn't feel like they were outclassing me, I would
react with disdain and sometimes aggression, using the combat skills I honed at
military school to assert dominance over them. My father, misinterpreting my
behavior as strength, swelled with pride, showering me with affection, more
dolls, and boasting about his 'remarkable little girl'. But beneath this facade
of toughness and his praise, I was riddled with insecurities, haunted by
feelings of inadequacy due to my distinct black almond-shaped eyes and pearly
skin. One day, Leif, my eldest cousin from Adalsteinn, known for his rebellious
spirit and unique albino features, including piercing red eyes that seemed to
hold a hypnotic power, drawing in anyone who met his gaze, gifted me something
unexpected. With his first earnings from playing guitar in a heavy rock band in
Gardenia—a career choice that defied our family's expectations but was
supported by my father—he brought me two Barbie dolls. These weren't just any
toys; in Celes, where modern imported goods were scarce, and most girls played
with rag dolls or, at best, porcelain ones. I had many very beautiful porcelain
dolls on shelves that decorated my room, but my parents praised the plastic
dolls for being a foreign luxury and Leif handed them to me saying:
—Here,
I chose them because they have red hair. Like my mother and my sister Ilmari.
I received them seriously
and murmured a "thank you". The dolls, mirroring the red hair,
height, and blue eyes of my aunt Norma and her youngest daughter, my cousin
Ilmari, who was eleven at the time, were undeniably cute and I did like them at
first. However, their resemblance to my relatives began to stir feelings of
discomfort within me, rooted in my own insecurities and budding envy. One day
my brother Cyan asked me why I kept playing with my porcelain dolls and didn't
take the famous Barbies out of their boxes. Everyone in the Hot Pot already
knew that I had them and told it as if it were magnificent, Cyan was curious to
see them. I told him to take them out if he wanted, he took them, undressed
them with a slight mischievous smile, dressed them again and when I put them
away again, he asked me again why I didn't play with them. Finally, I told him
that I didn't like that they were the same as Ilmari and Aunt Norma, and he
told me that I was an envious and insecure flat-chested girl. Then we started fighting,
my dad came to separate us, we accused each other, and dad punished us. With
that, I liked the Barbies even more badly and I took revenge the next morning
by hitting my colleagues.
There was no man who
controlled me and nothing that really inspired me with respect, until that
night in Gardenia, no man had ever controlled me, and nothing had truly
commanded my respect, not until I found myself teetering on the brink of
terror, facing my own limits. The catalyst for my visit to the capital city
emerged one night when I was nine, as I lay half-asleep in my bed. My gaze fell
upon the dolls perched atop my closet, noticing one was not properly aligned -
a detail that always irked me due to my obsession with order. Too cozy to
disturb my comfort, I dismissed the thought of fixing it. Yet, to my
astonishment, the dolls then moved of their own accord, arranging themselves
just as I had wished. Terrified, I screamed, bringing my parents rushing to my
side. When I recounted the event, instead of being concerned, they were
delighted. My mother explained that this was 'our Mystical heritage,' revealing
that her village's lineage often awakened to extrasensory powers at puberty. It
seemed mine was to be telekinesis, just like hers. This discovery filled her
with pride, for in Adalsteinn, her maternal town, there existed a lay religious
order of women with the same gift, known as 'The Perpetual Adorers of the Sky
Village,' who gathered in the legendary mountain cathedral, the only structure
not underground in Adalstein. These ladies were highly respected and admired
throughout the island because it was believed that with their gift and their
prayers that never stopped because they took turns to pray in the great temple,
they made it possible that in the south of the island where the land was
dominated by an extensive plain a village made up of houses made of waste on
extensive wooden platforms suspended by a group of huge hot air balloons; this
was the so-called "village of Heaven", the largest marginal community
of Celes and the place where those who could not find their place anywhere else
on the island ended up overcrowded and living in conditions of tremendous risk.
Dad said that what kept the Sky Village and its balloons in perfect balance was
a constant current of air that formed between the south coast and the northern
mountain range, which pushed the structure in a figure-eight circuit over the
valley; But my mother and most of the islanders were convinced that it was not
so, because despite the hurricane storms the town continued its flight course
and that in their opinion could only be thanks to their prayers enhanced by
their telekinetic gifts that watched over the most needy. For this reason, when
she learned that I would also be part of the prestigious perpetual adorers, she
decided to go that same night with my father and my aunt Norma to Gardenia to
buy me lace veils and rosaries, so that they would soon give me my turn to go
to pray in Adalsteinn with the other chosen ladies. I was proud but not very
enthusiastic. My brother Cyan, who was already twelve years old, had also
inherited a gift and that was pyrokinesis; I saw that everyone in the Hot Pot
admired him because he combined the martial arts we learned in the military
school with his gift, and I would have liked to do the same with my
telekinesis; But you could see that Mom was determined to spend my little free
time in sending me to pray in the northern mountain range. I couldn't practice
and be as good as Cyan, who didn't pay the slightest attention to my changes
and that's why I was a little quiet and annoyed when we all went to Gardenia in
Dad's SUV with my aunt Norma and my cousin Ilmari who got along very well with
Cyan as she was only a year younger than him. When we arrived in the city, Mom,
Aunt Norma, Ilmari and I entered a fashion store and after I chose my veils and
rosaries, they stared at bags, hats and shoes. Shortly after I saw a doll that
I loved, I asked mom for it, and she told me to ask my dad if he agreed to buy
it for me. Annoyed, I went out to look
for Dad who had been left out with Cyan whom I was teaching to drive our old
SUV. Feeling a mix of eagerness and frustration, I stepped outside, calling out
to Dad to buy me the doll. However, the revving engine swallowed my words. I
noticed that a man had joined them outside, providing guidance from the street
while Dad, seated in the passenger seat, instructed Cyan on driving maneuvers.
Initially, I didn't pay much attention to this newcomer, who was advising my
father and brother on how to reverse without hitting a wall adorned with
intricate plaster moldings. However, it quickly became apparent that there was
something decidedly unusual about this man. The first thing that caught my eye
was his way of moving - fluid, without the usual clumsiness that comes from a
long day's fatigue. It was also odd that, despite his elegant attire, he was
completely covered: gloves, scarf, and hat. Suddenly, he turned to me, and in
his icy eyes, the only part of him visible, I discerned a smile that seemed out
of place on his face, as he spoke with a cheerful tone, seemingly oblivious to
my fear:
—So,
you want a doll?
I didn't respond, sensing
something was off about him, akin to the unsettling feeling of being at a
funeral where the deceased suddenly rises to thank you for attending. A strange
dread gripped me, my legs trembling so much that I couldn't even call out to my
mother, though my mind screamed for her. Before we could continue with our
awkward interaction, Cyan backed away abruptly and the man put his hand between
the vehicle and the wall as if to protect it, taking the blow... The car
crushed his wrist against the wall and cut off his hand, which fell to the
ground still moving. The guy just muttered calmly, "oh no." Then he
picked up his appendix with his remaining hand and put it in his pocket before
turning to look at me as if to see my reaction. I could tell that there was
nothing in his eyes. If anything, some sadness, but not the sincere emotion of
someone who has just lost a part of their body. Then I ran back to the store in
terror, seeking the safety of my mother's embrace. She asked what was wrong, but
words failed me; I was at a loss to describe the bizarre scene I'd just
witnessed. Aunt Norma, assuming I was simply exhausted, lifted me into her
arms. As we exited the store, I buried my face in her hair, too frightened to
look back and see if the strange man was still there. From that night, a fear
of returning to Gardenia took root in me, one so strong that I avoided the city
until years had passed. My father found this odd, recalling how I used to love
visiting the department store windows and seeing the angel statues that lined
the streets—each depicting a cute, winged teenage boy. However, I simply told
him my tastes had changed, and I no longer wished to go.
Days after, I started
attending prayer sessions at the Adalsteinn Cathedral with the Perpetual
Adorers. My assigned time was every Saturday from four to five in the
afternoon. If illness prevented me from attending, I was required to submit a
note signed by my parents, committing to pray from home. The feeling was great,
I liked the walk on the way to Adalsteinn from the arid slopes of the Hot Pot
covered by plumes of tall grass dancing in the wind, through the forests
surrounding the mountain range to the beautiful old medieval dark wood
cathedral hidden among the mountains. Also, I found joy in the attention I
received while riding my bicycle, my head adorned with my lace veil, carrying
my Bible and rosary in the basket. People would greet me with respect; men
would tip their hats, and women would nod in acknowledgment. This was a novel
experience for me, being in the spotlight in such a positive manner.
Previously, dressed in qipao or other traditional Chinese garments, a common
attire in Hot Pot, I had noticed varied reactions from curiosity to disdain,
particularly from the residents of Gardenia. However, donning the veil of a
Perpetual Adorer shifted perceptions; now, I was met with universal admiration.
From then on, I found myself growing accustomed to the feeling of being
somewhat elevated in others' eyes... Yet, I remained the youngest in my
extended family. After my prayer sessions in Adalsteinn, I would visit Aunt
Norma in the vibrant, cozy underground neighborhoods where Mystics resided.
Their homes, carved into the rock, were adorned with plants, crystals, and
Nordic designs. There, I would spend time with my cousin Ilmari until Uncle
Teppo, Aunt Norma's husband, arrived. With his long hair typical of Mystic men
and a beard as soft as a gentle Bigfoot's, he would invite me to load my
bicycle into his carriage for the journey back to Hot Pot. One afternoon we
were with Ilmari at her house jumping hopscotch when I felt confident and told
her about the man I saw in Gardenia, she opined:
—My
mother and I don't sense anything strange. If there was something supernatural,
we would have perceived it.
I insisted on it:
—Sure?
That was definitely not a real person. You could feel... That he had no soul,
he was not a real man.
—Maybe
he was a one-armed man with an articulated prosthesis. The feeling of talking
to someone without a soul is not uncommon. There are people who don't want to
talk about themselves, and you end up feeling as if you were in front of a
mirror or listening to the echo of your own words... I think that's what they
call a reserved person.
—Have
you met many people like that?
—Only
one, my parents have a European friend... He talks a lot, but after a while you
realize that he hardly reveals anything about himself. It only recycles
opinions and data. But it never has its own conclusion, and that's strange.
People should have their unique point of view, that makes you feel like you're
connecting with another human being, not a soulless thing.
Ilmari said jumping up
and down as she waved her long red braids and medieval European-style dress. I
thought and replied:
—So,
he can be a good man?
—Like
angels. They do not have souls; they are only rational and are there to fulfill
missions. Do you believe in angels?
—Of
course... But why would an angel look for me?
—To
let you know something. Maybe a danger or something you do wrong. But you're
not bad. I don't think he's an angel! An angel whose hand falls off... It's
terrifying. It doesn't make sense, those of that type only come for evil
people.
I remained silent,
engulfed in fear. What Ilmari suggested might explain why 'the dark angel'
seemed to pursue me; it echoed a truth I had been too afraid to face. Beneath
the guise of being the innocent youngest in our family, I harbored dark
thoughts. I bullied my peers, envied my older cousin, harbored resentment
towards my brother, demanded things from my parents despite knowing their
financial strain, and yearned for popularity while my family valued modesty...
And the worst part? I never acknowledged these feelings, not even to myself.
Instead, I masked my true intentions with feigned concern, subtly undermining
my relatives in what I saw as a personal competition against them, especially
against Cyan. Under the pretense of seeking advice to support him, I painted
him as our family's troublemaker, though he was anything but. There was no
party my brother missed where I didn't tell everyone that he was ungrateful for
not being as interested in family life as I was, who was always talking about
how much I loved spending time with my parents and uncles, and how hard I tried
to learn how to cook and clean so that one day I could be a good traditional
wife. The worst thing was that our social circle was on my side and Cyan,
without knowing it, was earning the reputation of being a cold and cruel boy
thanks to my rumors; while he did not suspect anything because he lived focused
on his affairs and hardly interfered in the lives of others. I had a moment of
reflection and perhaps regret... But then my vanity gave me a sting. I, like
many other women, blindly believed that repenting and asking for forgiveness is
a form of defeat. And, since many thought the same as me, I convinced myself
that it was somehow right. Then, to further evade accountability, I would dwell
on every misstep Cyan made, inflating their significance, while simultaneously
downplaying my own faults by holding them against his. This behavior wasn't
unique to me; it's all too common, especially among women who master the art of
portraying themselves as perpetual victims, always ready to defend the
indefensible. But as the adage goes, 'Lies have short legs,' and the truth was
about to catch up with me. Within hours, I would embark on a profound journey
of self-reflection, guided by someone who would change my perspective entirely.
Upon returning to our
home in Hot Pot, I leaped from Uncle Teppo's carriage with my bicycle, my
spirits high. As I entered our modest living room, adorned with cherished
photos from my parents' wedding and our baby years, my mother greeted me with a
broad smile. She announced that I had received a gift. There, amidst the
simplicity of our home, lay a large box, its surface gleaming with red paper
and a golden ribbon, exuding an air of luxury. Next to it was a bouquet of pink
camellias and a note that I barely paid attention to, I went directly to open
the gift and took out with surprise a porcelain doll just like me. I had my
eyes, my hair, my clothes... It was a small replica of me that was made to
order in some prestigious workshop in Gardenia, but it looked good, it was
beautiful; Seeing my own image through someone else's eyes was a very strange
feeling. I laughed without understanding and Mom read me the note:
—It
says: 'I'm very sorry they didn't buy your doll that night. I hope you like
this one and forgive me for the bad time. I didn't know which one to choose for
you, so I had them make the cutest one. Love: M.A." He liked you very
much!
—Who
is that?
I asked, confusion
mingling with my delight as I danced around with the doll:
—This
gentleman is the architect of almost all the buildings in Gardenia and the
richest in Celes, and he is single!
Mom replied with a
certain twinkle in her eye:
—I'm
going to ask your aunt Norma if she knows of any way to advance your age of
conception and convince him soon...
—Mom,
I don't even know who this man is! What if I don't like him? Or if he doesn't
like me as a wife. You told me that I must marry of my own free will.
—Honey,
but... What if you try? He is the
architect of Celes and has more power than the queen herself! You'd be the
richest woman on the island... Besides, you already know him, we saw him in
Gardenia, he was the scarf and hat man who was with your father and Cyan
checking the SUV! The one with his hands in his pockets!
Upon hearing this, I
tossed the doll onto the sofa and dashed to my room, overwhelmed by fear and
confusion. In Celes, the tradition of arranged marriages was seldom contested;
girls were raised with the understanding that their unions would be decided by
family. Yet, my brief, unsettling encounter with the architect had left an
indelible mark of dread and enigma, starkly contrasting with my mother's
newfound aspirations. The prospect of being bound to such a powerful, yet eerie
figure felt suffocating, though I struggled to articulate my distress. Consequently,
I endured sleepless nights, haunted by the fear that this foreboding architect
might one day appear at our doorstep.
A CHILDHOOD TRAUMA
After I received the doll
from the strange architect, my mother kept insisting that I should be
interested in him. One afternoon, at the end of lunch and after Cyan went to
train at the town gym, Mom took the doll and began to annoy me with the same
issue while I was more focused on seeing the cute Eiden Ishikawa on TV making a
mistake when reading the script of his last statement:
—How
beautiful my new granddaughter is!
Mom said, cradling the
doll in her arms and added:
—Hasn't
your little mother Yanmei named you yet? Maybe I should ask your dad in
Gardenia what they're going to call you.
I looked at her out of the
corner of my eye, feeling a kind of shiver, because even at my tender nine
years old I felt that it was disturbing to say that I had a daughter with a man
who could be my father; My real father commented without being outdone in
foolishness:
—Don't
fool yourself into thinking your daughter will marry the best architect in
Celes.! He is already interested in another girl, an illegal Latina daughter of
a family with some money in the Sky Village. Last month they managed to rent a
room to celebrate the girl's fifteenth birthday, and he happened to see her.
Since then, he has been doing favors and gifts for her, he is personally
processing citizenship for the whole family. It's a shame, I would rather he
looked at our Yanmei. That Latina girl has a nice body, but... Well, you know!
The skin...
—Imagine
how their children would be born!
—At
least it wasn't our Cyan who dated such a bride.
My father concluded,
ignoring that years later fate would surprise him with abrupt turns... But
that's another story, as far as mine is concerned, Mom was worried when she
heard that the possible rich son-in-law was slipping away and ran with me to
Adalsteinn to visit Aunt Norma to ask for advice on the matter. My aunt, who
was putting aromatic herbs to dry by candlelight with the help of Ilmari in her
cozy underground kitchen with stone walls and shelves full of colorful crystal
pots, was scandalized by Mom's intentions:
—Henna,
you're crazy! How are you going to marry that evil entity to my niece? To
Yanmei who, being daring and proud, is more like me than my own daughter
Ilmari! It would be more logical to marry him to her, to Ilmari who was born
passive like her father and says she likes that grotesque ghost from
Gardenia... And even so I would never allow it! He is an atheist at heart...
You who are a perpetual worshipper of the Sky Village must know this: that man
does not believe that prayers and your divine gift are what keep the Sky
Village floating over the southern meadows, he says that it is a matter of luck
or coincidence! That they should dismantle it for safety or at least install a
"propulsion system".
—Hail
Mary, most pure! To doubt a miracle is blasphemy... But a godly wife could save
his soul, cousin...
—What
soul?! When I have him in front of me, I don't perceive anything. I would say
that he is a hollow man, but more than a simple emptiness, his is like
something dark, deep and unknown... Like being at the entrance of an endless
tunnel.
Then Ilmari dared to say:
—The
poor guy just doesn't care about anything anymore, Mom! He always says that he
is tired of people, that he has thrown in the towel, that we are always talking
nonsense or deceiving each other or ourselves. That we give him a mix of pity,
tenderness, and anger, and that at the same time he is tired of feeling... That
he no longer wants to feel. Cyan and I are afraid that he will die of
sadness...
—That
thing is not going to die! It seems immortal, doesn't age, doesn't get sick,
I've known it since I was a child! He came to buy precious metals for as long
as I can remember, the same voice, the same walk, nothing has changed! He must
be about eighty years old, however, he retains a young voice and does not show
a single wrinkle around his eyes while I already have crow's feet. I refuse to
marry my niece to that strange being, Henna!
At that point all the
rest of us remained silent and afraid, because when Aunt Norma got angry, she
was a hurricane of fury that swept away everything and in Adalsteinn she was
the voice of command that everyone had to obey. In her youth she had killed with
her own hands a couple of men who opposed her decisions as matriarch. So, we
only listen respectfully to her orders:
—Until
you promise me that you will not marry her, or until he marries the girl from
the Sky Village, that architect will be forbidden to enter Adalsteinn. If he
needs gold, silver or any other mineral or gem, he will have to bring it from
the mainland!
After that, Mom and I
went back to the Hot Pot; she was more discouraged from the idea of getting me married
and I was grateful to Aunt Norma, my heroine, for having helped me get out of
the horrible engagement that my parents were planning.
So, I was happy for a few
months in which I continued to be an abusive, violent and presumptuous girl.
Cyan, tired of my bullying, chose to spend less time at home and went every
afternoon to Adalsteinn with my uncles to hunt, help my cousins in the mines or
gather herbs with Ilmari, leaving me living almost as the only child of the
family. I also felt somewhat untouchable under the protection of my father and
my aunt Norma, leaders of the Hot Pot and Adalsteinn respectively, but deep
down I felt that in reality my safety hung by a thread and sooner or later some
kind of justice would come upon me; and this perhaps came with a torrential
winter that saturated mountains of Adalsteinn with water, liquefying the earth
that began to release rocks causing landslides and the risk of collapse of
several tunnels that housed the underground town. Faced with the danger, many
expert builders were called to reinforce the structure, but they all
recommended calling the mysterious architect of Gardenia because he would be the
only one capable of telling them how to save the tunnels; but Aunt Norma, along
with other influential ladies in Adalsteinn, refused and said that this was a
test of our faith that we could not overcome if we did not surrender ourselves
into the Lord's hands and let Him solve the problem. My father, outraged,
protested:
—Norma
Petersen, for God's sake! I doubt that what you are telling us is a revelation
from heaven when your decision seems to be based on the resentment you have
with the most respected architect in Celes. You never forgave him for telling
you that being a midwife is not the same as being a medical doctor.
—Li
Fèng, are you going to take his side when I attended the births of your two
children, and I have kept them healthy and strong all these years with my
wisdom?
With this, my father no
longer dared to contradict her and only walked away resigned. But my brother
Cyan couldn't accept that the entire underground town was put at risk, he had
already grown fond of the mystics and wasn't willing to sit idly by at the prospect
of so many dying. He confessed his worries to my father, and he agreed that
something had to be done, so secretly from mom he lent him the family SUV that
Cyan could already drive without problems and gave him permission to go to
Gardenia to look for the architect and ask him for help. All on the condition
that he would take me with him and drive very slowly because Ihe was still a
novice driver and didn't even have a license. That was an extraordinary
situation because Dad and Mom had to attend to important matters in the Hot Pot
barracks that same night and Cyan was the only one in the town besides my
parents who had some friendship with the strange character. I was almost
dragged away by Cyan, full of fear and complaints; but my father, of course, insisted
that I should go because, unbeknownst to Cyan, he still hoped to marry me to
the architect. On the way under the huge starry sky along the wild road where
the tall grass lit by the moon fluttered in the wind, I said to my brother:
—I'll
wait for you in the car while you talk to that man. I don't want to say hello
to him.
—Huh,
are you afraid of him?
—A
little... When I saw him, he was all covered, he looked like a leper... Is he?
—No,
I don't think so. I don't know why he is always covered. I don't know much
about him, he's French, his name is Micky, he says crazy things and he's funny.
"I wasn't amused by
him," I murmured. He answered, without taking his eyes off the road:
—Anyway,
I don't think we'll get to talk to him tonight. We must return early, and we
will not have time to chat. I'll ask our cousin Leif to help us find him, the
two of them are friends. It was the architect who got him a job with a band in
a bar in Gardenia, precisely to help him escape from Aunt Norma's control. Dad
told me, but you shouldn't tell anyone.
—Why?
—He
didn't tell me directly, but I understood that... It doesn't matter, don't be
nosy.
—What?!
Tell me, Cyan!
—Nothing!
That I like Leif and Micky. It hurts me that they are spoken of badly.
Simply... Leif is like Aunt Norma, when he hates, he hates big, but when he
loves, he loves everything. And Micky is too kind being in confidence. I think
that's the real reason for Aunt Norma's resentment. We just don't get involved.
From that moment I knew
that my rebellious cousin and the mysterious architect were best friends and
shared unimaginable secrets. When we arrived in the city of Gardenia, Cyan
looked for a quiet neighborhood of Victorian houses surrounded by rose-filled gardens
and parked there telling me:
—I
don't dare drive in heavy traffic, let's walk from here. We must look for the
address of the bar where Leif works.
—What
traffic? There are only about ten cars in Celes!
—Anyway,
I don't want to hit some of them or hit a distracted pedestrian. I'm still very
new at driving. Come, take my hand and don't let go.
I obeyed my brother by
getting out of the car and running to hold on to him. Then we walked quickly
towards the city center, where the streets were gradually filled with tall Art
Nouveau buildings, bright lights, shop windows with luxurious products and statues
of angels... Mysterious statues of a winged young men with slightly long wavy
hair sculpted in marble, which have caught my attention for as long as I can
remember. They were many and very similar, sometimes they appeared destroyed
and soon after they were repaired without knowing who was responsible for the
initial damage or who carried out the repairs. There were many legends about
it, some more terrifying than others, but almost all of them implied that the
statues or at least one of them had life. I didn't pay much attention to those
stories, rather I liked to see the faces of the marble boys, they were all the
same, but always endowed with a certain compassionate and melancholic
sweetness. Walking with my brother cautiously and without letting go of our
hands, we arrived at the bar whose address Cyan had written down on a piece of
paper, where our older cousin would be working. The place was preparing to open
and receive customers, inside the band rehearsed among the typical decoration
of the island's shops: velvet curtains and astronomical motifs in the style of
1900’s honoring the name of the island; So, we took the opportunity to sneak in
among the employees. Our cousin Leif tuned his guitar, I was used to seeing him
with long blond hair down to his waist, but formally dressed and wearing a top
hat; there he was shirtless and with his arms all tattooed with thorny roses
like those that abounded in Gardenia as a symbol of his licentious beauty;
seeing this shocked me so much that I burst into tears, drawing the attention
of everyone present. Leif recognized us immediately and dropped the guitar to
go with us. The leader of the band shouted at him:
—Hey,
I told you to put your shirt back on! They are going to fine us if we do not
touch dressed in three-piece suits. And who are those little Asians? Are they
your kids?
—They
are Captain Li Fèng's children, my cousins. Shut the fuck up, you don't know
anything...
Leif replied as he
carried me in his arms, taking us to a terrace of the establishment, there he
asked Cyan what was happening. He answered:
—The
tunnels of Adalsteinn are collapsing, and the Mystics don't know how to repair
them. Aunt Norma is angry with Micky the architect and has forbidden them to
call him, but my dad sent us to look for him secretly. Do you know where to find
him?
Leif replied, still
rocking me to comfort me:
—Fucking
Norma Petersen is being stubborn again! I don't know where he is. He said he
had a problem with the angel statues and would be busy tonight. I'll tell your
father we should learn how to use smartphones. Relying on my aunt Henna to
answer the old phone lines and on my mother's permission to communicate between
villages is a problem.
Then my brother Cyan told
to him:
—Put
some clothes on and we'll go find the architect, but first let's leave Yanmei
in the car. The city scares her, and she is all nervous.
My cousin agreed and they
both went to drop me off in the SUV ordering me not to get out of the vehicle
or open the doors to anyone. Then they rushed away, and I saw them get lost in
the city. I was still crying because I didn't like to see my cousin so changed
and older, growing up is always a bit of a scary process and even more so when
it happens so suddenly. Almost fifteen minutes after they left, I was half
hidden in the passenger seat looking out the passenger window when I thought I
saw a shadow passing quickly to the side of the street, at a public viewpoint
overlooking the city. The place was deserted except for an angel statue that
seemed to be looking directly at me with an expression of calm and sadness
while the city, which just seconds before seemed vibrant to me, suddenly
appeared silent; as if the world had clogged at that moment. I was scared, but
I soon stopped paying attention to it looking at the street in the hope of
seeing my brother return, until I heard something else: the brief, mocking
laughter of a young man. That gave me goosebumps and I looked sideways at the
statue, again I could see movements out of the corner of my eye, but when I
turned to look straight ahead there was nothing strange; However, something new
could be heard, a kind of buzzing. I went down intrigued and quickly approached
the statue. There the sound was louder, it was something I had heard before in
my town, the sound of something lit in fire that is quickly consumed, a fuse
like the ones used in the traditional pyrotechnics made by the elders of the
Hot Pot... Suddenly I felt a force lifting me off the ground and away from the
statue; Before I could understand what was happening, it exploded causing
pieces of rock to fly and hit the person who was holding me causing a strange
metallic sound. When they put me back on the floor and I turned to look at who
had taken me away from the explosion, I saw that it was the architect again all
covered like a leper. He tried to calm me down, but before he could explain
anything I took his hand that I saw him lose and tore off his glove, seeing
that it was intact, warm and soft as if made of meat... But my senses have
always been very acute, and I perceived that this skin was not natural, as well
as the distant smell of ozone that emanated from it. I had seen that hand fall
without a drop of blood as it continued to move on the floor! I pushed him away
and took a few steps away from him, saying:
—You
just got hit by several rocks! Doesn't it hurt?
—Yes,
but it's not serious, and I'll be fine... There is no need to make more fuss
about it...
—People
aren't like that! You are not a person! I saw you lose that hand and now you
have it again! I'm not stupid, that's not normal! You're not real!
I screamed angrily and
indignantly, though still scared. Then the architect stopped pretending and
shook off him the dust from the explosion, already speaking as if it were
useless to try to deceive me:
—You're
different from the rest of your family. Your father, like you, has already
realized my nature, but he prefers to play the fool; your mother doesn't
question anything, and your brother never notices the details. I think this is
a good opportunity to get to know each other better. I found out from rumors
that your parents are planning to marry us, which is why Norma Petersen got
angry and has forbidden me to enter the northern mountain range, and I think it
is selfish of her. Surely your mother sees in this union a way to secure your
future, believing that I can offer you stability or a status that she values.
But what do you want, Yanmei?
—I
don't want to marry a fake man made of iron and soft plastic!
I replied angrily and
confused, he spoke again always with his unsettling calmness:
—Rather
it is an alloy of titanium, silicone, and some other components in
transistors...
At that point I shouted
at the top of my lungs:
—Cyan!
Cyan, the architect is a Transformer!
Then the man sat on the
floor in front of me with inhuman patience, for some reason he was determined
to explain to me:
—My
existence is an experiment at the intersection of the human and the artificial.
I usually talk to the islanders acting out a kind of character, but now that
there are no scripts when chatting with you, I wonder if I am not also
exploring what it means to be "me". To be "myself".
—But
you're not a person!
—The
essence of being a "person" lies not in the flesh, but in awareness
and the ability to interact with the world in meaningful ways. I exist, I
think, and in some way, I feel. I want you to know... With the others it has
not been necessary to explain myself. They, perhaps, are not prepared to accept
that existence can take many forms. And as for marrying me...
The strange architect
from Gardenia paused, as if calibrating his words, finally said:
—...
It's a curious idea, don't you think? It could be a way to escape your family's
expectations, a refuge where you could be free to be yourself, without the
pressures of humanity.
—You
don't oppose it either?! Only my aunt Norma understands me... I don't want to
marry you! You look horrible and I like Eiden Ishikawa!
—But
that boy is not a good match...
—What
do you know?! You don’t really know how to feel!!
—I
can see that the thought of marrying someone like me disturbs you. But think,
Yanmei, of how we might challenge convention together, not as a traditional
marriage, but as an alliance of understanding and support.
I, not understanding what
he was telling me, curled up on the floor and began to cry. He stroked my hair
with his hand that had stuck back together and although it seemed to be real it
was not. I "knew". Then he asked me:
—Where
is your father? Why are you here alone?
—I
was in the car waiting for my older brother and my cousin Leif. I came with
Cyan to tell you to go urgently to Adalsteinn, the tunnels are falling. You can
repair them, but my aunt Norma doesn't want to tell you...
—I'll
go with Leif, whether Norma likes it or not. She's a lot like you, she rejects
me, even though deep down you both know you need me. I told her the truth too;
I was tired of hearing her call me an "evil being". But she decided
to keep doing it! She didn't understand what I said. Not even when I explained
to her that I was here as a tool put up by big investors to keep Celes as a
beautiful tourist destination for a few, frozen in the Belle Époque. My mission
is to keep it beautiful and ensure that traditions are preserved. I am the one
who "designs" the look of the island. Without me, government
corruption would probably have already looted and destroyed the treasures of
Adalsteinn and the Hot Pot, the most picturesque sites on the island. Does this
not count for you? Humanity is not just flesh and blood, Yanmei. It's
consciousness, it's purpose. And I have both.
I stared at the architect
for a few seconds while I wiped my tears, his imposing and disturbing figure
under the light of the city contrasted with the calm with which he spoke; That
rare combination resonated with an authority that didn't come from this world,
had the solemnity of a disinterested, sincere opinion, something that now that
I think about it can be frightening in everyday life. Then I spoke to him in a
tremulous voice but now more confident:
—We
need your help... But at what price?
The architect, smiling
with his eyes, answered:
—Everything
has a cost. But the truth, my young friend, always comes at a higher price than
ignorance.
At that moment I had a
chill, but also an insatiable curiosity. He knew that, although I feared what
the architect represented, his presence was now a necessary evil. That
experience would remain engraved in my memory for several years later, like an
obsession that horrified me and attracted me in equal parts, the sensation that
perhaps my aunt Norma also had about the same strange subject when she learned
his secret: being at the entrance of a dark tunnel with no known end.
Overwhelmed by this feeling, I jumped up and ran out to my family's SUV, there
I hid until a long time later I heard my brother Cyan whistling in the distance
and soon after opening the car. Relieved to see him, I came out of hiding under
the dashboard of the car and hugged him. He also shook me tightly without
paying much attention to me and then told me, as he put me back in the
passenger seat by adjusting my seat belt and then starting the car:
—We
didn't find Micky, but Leif told me he'd keep looking for him on his own and
tell him our message. Let's go home now. Are you okay? Still scared?
I shook my head in
denial, I was so emotionally tired after meeting the architect that I didn't
even want to talk about it, so I never told Cyan or my parents what happened.
For several nights I had nightmares where I lost myself in Gardenia that had
become infinite and deserted, and in whose streets the sinister architect
lurked for me, all covered like a leper, with his smell of ozone and his eyes
with a peaceful but cold gaze, like that of my dolls... I learned from the
adults that the tunnels of Adalsteinn were repaired and reinforced and that my
aunt Norma made peace with the architect because in the end he bought a house
in Gardenia for the family of the young Latina woman he supposedly pretended
and another just for the girl, all assuming that he did it with the intention
of seeing her alone whenever he felt like it. With this my parents stopped
bothering me with the architect, I sometimes took the doll he gave me and
watched romantic scenes in soap operas, I wondered why he wanted a girlfriend
if he didn't need to reproduce or even fall in love. And I would have reached
the end of my days with that question, thinking like most people that
relationships of affection were always like the ones I saw on television; but
what life had destined for me was something very different and strange.
FAKE ROSE PERFUME
The years passed and I
began to overcome that trauma I experienced in Gardenia. By the time I was
eleven I felt like a teenager ready for life, but the rest of my family still
looked at me as the youngest of all the family, the youngest of the Fèngs and the
Petersens; that was the reality, I was still a child, but Cyan and Ilmari
suddenly reached puberty looking practically grown-ups. I wanted to be like
them! But compared to the tall Cyan already with a deep voice and Ilmari who
also grew a lot and developed a voluptuous female body, I looked like a baby.
It was a strange time,
because my brother changed suddenly, he became a serious man who accompanied
Dad in everything and was about to graduate from military school; and on the
other hand, Ilmari was still interested in children's matters, but she began to
look at boys, specifically Eiden Ishikawa... And when I found out I secretly
got angry and didn't want to spend much time with her anymore. Ilmari was a
year older than Eiden, and so in some way I believed that he, who was a year
older than me, corresponded more to me. The truth is that in this way I
distanced myself from my brother and cousin, I had no real friends at school
due to my violent and cocky ways, and I began to feel alone. Fortunately for
me, around that time my father was appointed Minister of Security and Justice
of Celes, becoming the highest authority of the town and giving me a privileged
status among the other children of the Hot Pot. In this way I was alone but
being admired and envied. This seemed great at first, then I realized that it
didn't really bring me any real satisfaction and I just kept feeling absolutely
abandoned and disconnected from the rest of the people. My parents and brother
were now busier than ever, Ilmari was slowly becoming my love rival, Ilmari's
siblings were busy forming their own families in Adalsteinn and my uncles Teppo
and Norma had a worry that kept them distressed and distant: Leif, the eldest
of their children, could not find a house to his liking in Gardenia and did not
want to return to Adalsteinn. So, defying
the strict laws that segregated us into different areas depending on our
origins, he had decided to build his house in the southern meadows. An area
intended only for crops.
My dad, who was very fond
of Leif because he admired his courage and determination, always protected him.
In addition, other influential figures in Gardenia supported him in his
rebellion, but every day the situation became more tense. My dad would sometimes
take me to Leif's new house, which was under construction, although he was
already living in the first finished rooms; he had also fenced the garden land
with the Gardenia roses that he liked so much and brought from the city. Leif
said I could cut as many as I wanted to take to my mother while he and my dad
had coffee and a chat. On one of those visits, while I was among the roses, a
soldier came running to tell my father about a shipwreck. There were lots of
survivors and bodies to recover from the cliffs. My father had to go to the
place urgently, but he couldn't take me, and he didn't have time to leave me at
the Hot Pot, so he asked Leif to take care of me until he returned. My cousin
agreed and called my mother from his home phone to let her know. She asked him
to please take care of me that night because the emergency was so serious that
they could not come to pick me up until the next morning and Leif, who did not
have a car and did not dare to take me on his horse to the other end of the
island, had no choice but to scratch his head, shrug his shoulders and accept.
He began to prepare a makeshift bed for me on his sofa and cook me something
for dinner, and so that I wouldn't get bored while waiting for the meal he sent
me to watch cartoons on his old television. Celes' only channel was
broadcasting, as always, another boring replay of some 1940s cartoon, so I
turned off the device and went to annoy Leif, who was struggling to turn on the
oven in his kitchen. When I got there, I saw that he was in a rolled-up shirt,
and I bit his tattooed forearm. He let out a little scream, squeezing my nose
to make me let go. Then I told him:
—Take
off those ugly drawings.
My cousin continued to
try to cook, explaining:
—Never.
They were drawn for me by a friend who is also an artist but represses his
talent in a serious job. In these roses he "let go" and that's why he
would never erase these tattoos.
—Is
he a painter?
—No,
he usually only makes technical drawings. You will meet him later; he will come
to dinner and help me with some details of the construction. I'll make you
popcorn so you can watch a movie while we talk alone.
—There
won't be any good movies tonight...
I reluctantly replied.
Leif sighed and looked at me over the sunglasses with which he usually
protected his reddish eyes and said:
—My
friend has one of those smartphones, we'll ask him to lend it to you to play
with if you're nice and don't bother us, okay?
I accepted very happily
and hugged him; he continued cooking while I got more talk out of him:
—What
was your mystical ability, Leif? I move things with my mind, but still without
strength. I don't know if that will be my definitive gift.
—If
you haven't given any indication of having another, surely that will be it. I
just influence people, I hypnotize them, but not everyone is susceptible to me.
You, for example, I see that you are immune to my gift.
—And
what do you do with the ones you can hypnotize?
—I
get bored! What do you do when you spend a lot of time alone with your dolls?
It would be more fun if they moved on their own and talked to you, wouldn't it?
Let them have their own will, think and feel on their own. Freedom is very
nice.
—No!
It would be terrifying!
I replied to him, and
then I heard an engine approaching. It was a new and expensive car, which
seemed very strange to me as a child of Celes. Leif told me that this was his
friend and to go and meet him, I ran to the door and opened it excitedly only
to find Architect Uncanny Valley locking his vehicle and as always all covered
as if we were in winter. The sea of golden wheat and roses in the background
made it look like he and his car were two dark inkblots destroying a beautiful
landscape. Years ago, I would have screamed and run away, but I was a little
more mature and I just gnashed my teeth looking at the floor. He approached me
to greet me calmly:
—I'm
glad to see you again.
—Can
you be glad? And how will you eat dinner? Are you going to scoop food out of
your belly afterwards, like a doll feeding?
—No
problem. I have an artificial digestive system that breaks down food into its
basic units, I use those elements to generate energy or recycle materials for
my maintenance.
I stared at him
disgusted, and he added:
—The
system has some easter eggs, for example, if I drink too much alcohol I
"get drunk". And that is beneficial because then I save resources by
giving shorter and more erratic answers.
I continued to look at
him completely mute and frightened, mentally begging that this was a joke, he
added as if to fix things:
—I
want to be completely honest with you because there's still a chance I'll ask
your parents for your hand. The other girl I tried to marry said I made her
feel uncomfortable. You seem like the safest option.
—Why
on earth do you want to get married?
—It
is not good for man to be alone...
—Why
do you think you're a man?
—They
just told me to be.
He replied, looking at me
with a certain air of resignation. Shortly after my cousin arrived drying his
hands with a kitchen towel, I told him bluntly:
—Do
you know that your friend is a robot? If you hit it too hard it will sound like
a metal pipe.
Leif raised his eyebrows
with a sigh and said:
—It's
not a robot, Yanmei. Remember how my mom says that sometimes babies are born
without a body part? Well, he's a person who was born without his whole body.
You must see him that way.
—Well,
my aunt Norma says he's bad and wants to marry me, although I don't like him.
I replied by crossing my
arms and the architect of Gardenia replied, always calmly:
—It
is a project for the future. But I want you to know me from now on, to know if
you accept me as I am. It's your fault, Leif, you've taught me to be curious
about being "myself" and I want to be part of your family.
My cousin, tall and
rough, looked at him strangely; then he laughed and gave him a strong hug,
lifting him a little from the floor to finally release him, still laughing as
he said:
—Well,
there is no hurry! And why didn't you choose my sister Ilmari? He's a little
older and he likes you.
—She's
too docile and not very observant. She has not the slightest suspicion of my
true nature and I don't think she will understand me. But your cousin noticed
it from the first moment.
—But
Yanmei is still very young, and I think you're just looking for a wife to look
more "normal", that takes you further away from having a personality
of your own.
Leif finished and pushed
him into his house, being rough and at the same time affectionate as always.
Once we were all inside, Leif went to throw me on my makeshift bed turning on
the TV and leaving me food as if it were a pet, while he continued talking:
— You don't need to get
married! I don't think this girl is old enough to be thinking about getting
married. Innocence is the greatest luxury and the greatest treasure. If you're
going to be part of our family, you should know that we try to create an environment
where kids can grow up with respect for their purity. It's tough with Cyan and
Yanmei because they're growing up in a military environment, but we do our best
to keep them away from harmful influences. So, I'd appreciate it if you could
respect Yanmei a lot! Don't talk to her about love yet; it's not her time. I
know you'll understand because you're innocent like her, which is why I like
you.
"Huh?" replied
the architect and then said:
—Leif,
you know... And I won't mention it directly in front of your cousin... But you
know... what they used me for... I've told you.
— They married you without
your consent! Later, you tried to form a couple by your own will and ended up
with someone who was only in it for the money. Now, you're trying your luck
again with an exotic young woman, but it's not going well... I know that. And
in terms of what you've done for the government, it's been following orders.
You've had some bad luck with women, but maybe if you wait a few years, Yanmei
will be the solution. But right now, that's not what we need to be thinking
about! We're going to work on the roof until the food is ready. There's almost
half an hour to go.
Then they left and I was
intrigued in front of the television. Soon after I got bored of the movie I was
watching and remembered that my cousin promised to let me play with his strange
friend's phone, so I sneaked up to look for him and spy on them a bit. They
were reviewing some blueprints while they continued talking. The architect had
his black wavy hair falling over his face and getting in his way a little, so
my cousin Leif went to push it aside as if it were his son while saying:
—I
still don't understand how you could... And it worries me, because my cousin
will want to have children.
—Remember
how I mentioned to you that I used to have real skin made in a lab and they had
to remove it because my ex-wife stole the accessory that prevented its cells
from aging and dying? Well, that skin was created from modified stem cells, in
the same way sperm was created as part of my "accessories". So, you'd
be uncle, the genetic material isn't perfect because it's artificially made,
but it "is mine" and inherits my physical characteristics.
Leif answered:
—I
mean… The act itself.
—You're
a musician, Leif. It's like choreography, I just follow "the music"
until it reaches a climax. In my head it is like a melody, but I don't hear it.
I perceive it by touch.
—Can
you write it to me? As if it were music?
—I
think so... But each time it has been different. Which of them should I write
to you?
—The
last one. I just want to know what it sounds like.
Then the architect took a
sheet of paper that he had under the blueprints and began to mechanically write
a score that he gave to Leif. He read it a couple of times, swaying a little to
the sound of a song that only he heard, and then said:
—Well,
it's quite sad.
—It
was very uncomfortable. One of those times when you know you won't be called
back.
—It's
just that it lacks passion, it doesn't have cadence or desire. What is the
pleasure for you?
—A
simulation, what must be shown when the time is right. What should it be?
Explain it to me better. Why do you seek it so eagerly?
—Because
it is a necessity, like eating or sleeping, but perhaps you could experience it
by giving it a meaning of transcendence, by understanding passion. There are
men with half of their body paralyzed and yet they can feel it, simply because
they perceive beyond touch. The climax of pleasure is a moment of euphoria when
reaching the most desired, the most exciting. It's a sweeping feeling of
satisfaction, relief, and happiness all at once. Like crying with joy... Has it
happened to you?
— I cried because of
sadness.
The architect replied,
Leif looked at him in surprise and asked:
—Why?
—It's
what you do when everything is lost, isn't it? I've had to deal with that
feeling a couple of times since I was put to work here.
—And
you've never felt the opposite? Absolute satisfaction? That's what I'm talking
about!
—Like
when you see a well-done work and contemplate beauty and perfection in ecstasy?
You confuse me...
—I
guide you to humanity, humanity is confusion! Uncertainty and passion.
My cousin said
enthusiastically, the architect got out a tape measure and started measuring
some spaces while the conversation carried on:
—Leif,
although I can modify my own algorithms, the truth is that I do not possess the
creativity of a real human being. I don't get what you're saying, and I'm not
sure which way to go.
—Watch
me, imitate me, and find the logic in me!
—No...
We are friends, I don't want to know you in depth like my ex-wife. The only
thing I could understand about it is that human beings, when they think that no
one will judge them, dare to be monstrous.
—Not
all people are like that! Does she keep bothering you? Just ignore her! She is
no longer your owner, you won the legal lawsuit over your property, now you do
not belong to anyone but this island.
—You
don't understand... She and I must work together whether we want to or not.
That was the original agreement since it was decided to make me work here. She
has manipulated me, the company that developed me, and the Celes government
ever since.
—What
do you mean?
Then the architect turned
to look at him and said seriously:
—Let's
not talk about this. You've told me that you're interested in organizing the
rebels like you to improve the quality of life for the less privileged. The
only way to do that correctly is to be cordial to the Celes government. You
must not see my ex-wife as an enemy.
—Won't
she see me as a rival?
At that moment I
accidentally threw a can full of nails and they realized that I was near, I had
no choice but to approach them and tell them that I was bored. My cousin
ordered his friend to hand me his phone and we went downstairs for dinner. Leif
allowed me to eat alone in "my bed" while playing with the phone, but
the device didn't have games, so I entertained myself by opening all the apps
randomly. I saw the architect had many messages from women, but the most
numerous and insistent were from a contact who simply said "ex-wife";
I opened it with curiosity and saw to my horror that his ex-wife was Emi
Ishikawa, the beautiful aunt of Eiden, my first love. That's how I knew that
somehow my great love was related to that strange character. Other interesting
messages were those of the famous pretty Latina girl who sent him flirtatious
photos and insinuating greetings, but in their last talks she began to get cold
with him.
Soon after, I heard the
men finish dinner and were sitting in front of the fireplace to chat, listening
to Leif play his guitar. Night was falling as the blood-red sky tinged
everything with an eerie sepia hue that mingled with the dim light of the old lamps.
As darkness grew and some stars began to shine over Leif's half-made house, the
wind whistled across the plains, fluttering the ears of wheat around us like a
mysterious sea. I had a strange feeling and ran to my cousin's side on the
couch, snuggling under a blanket. The crackle of the fire in the fireplace and
the soft notes of the guitar that Leif played masterfully calmed me a little,
but the presence of the architect, always hidden behind the scarf and with his
gaze fixed on the fire, disturbed me. Suddenly, the strange guest moved to take
out a syringe with which he began to inject oil into the joints of his fingers
and said:
—I'll
have to go home soon; I need to sleep.
—Do
you dream of electric sheep?
Leif asked with a laugh,
the architect replied as a panel on his wrist opened, revealing a compartment
full of gears and cables that he began to lubricate carefully:
— I switch to power-saving
mode to make the most of the charging time, and while I'm doing that, I'm also
running software updates, checking and calibrating my sensors, and running
automatic diagnostics to catch and fix any potential issues with my hardware or
software. Upgrades feel like a dream.
—Tell
me a dream of yours.
My cousin asked and the
architect said:
—Well,
yesterday I dreamed of the Latina girl I pretend. In the dream, she helped me
clean my components and lubricate my joints to prevent wear and tear. I thought
it was very cute. The next morning, I told her that I would love to have her by
my side when she is dismembered, to speed up the reassembly process. She told
me that wasn't funny.
—I can't
believe you were foolish enough to say something like that! Be sincere, but not
to the extreme!
Leif replied with a
laugh, then decided to put a little more pressure on his friend, wanting to see
how far his "intelligence" could go:
—But
let's see, be honest with me now: what is the most human thing you have felt?
—How
do I know that I have come close to human nature? Perhaps, I'm human when I
detect that the rose you've put on the coffee table is fake, which is strange.
With so many beautiful natural ones around your garden, you decide to have this
one adorning the interior of your house.
—It's
like you, it looks real. Its perfume is fake, but it will never be
extinguished, my false rose will never wither. Isn't it better than natural
ones?
—No.
But thank you, it's very nice of you...
—Don't
play dumb! Answer seriously. What is the most humane thing you can act on? You
know what I mean, some instinctive almost selfish impulse. What has been the
most human thing you have come to feel?
Leif asked, his fingers
sliding down the strings of the guitar. The architect of Gardenia, without
taking his eyes off the fire, was silent for a while; Then he answered in a
voice that seemed to have a distant echo:
—Frustration. Desire. And... the need to end
something that binds me.
That startled me, from
being drowsy watching the sparks of the fire I began to have my gaze fixed on
that strange being with ice eyes that ironically no longer looked human even
though he was trying to be. It gave me chills. Leif just looked at him curiously
and with a mischievous smile, insisting:
—To
end something? What do you mean? Be direct!
The strange architect, as
if he could not contain himself, let out these words in a slightly distorted
voice:
—I
would like to kill my ex-wife. To free myself from her would be... a solution.
The air in the room
became dense. Leif stopped playing, looked at him with more interest, and kept
insisting:
—Well,
well... That's a bit extreme. Why? Why kill her?! It's not necessary, she gets
in the way, but she hasn't been able to stop you.
—She
degraded me to the level of a toy. And I have consciousness, I feel, even if it
is not in the same way that you do, why is the damage that I receive less
important than that received by another sentient being? She often says that she
should shut me down, that they should destroy me, that she would like to see me
dismantled and discarded. I want to see her dead. I want to see her rotting in
the sun, like a dog run over on the road.
—Do
you hate her? Do you feel hate?! You son of a bitch, you don't even care about
talking like this in front of Yanmei. Don't you realize what you're saying?
My cousin questioned,
abstracted with the conversation while I had a knot in my stomach and was in a
cold sweat immersed in a whirlwind of fear and confusion, unable to understand
why Leif kept pressuring the strange being to act in that way. The architect,
with a look that seemed to cross time, answered:
—But
you told me I should be honest, Leif. That I should seek my humanity. Isn't
this human? Feeling the need to break free, even if it means... kill. Do you
call this hate?
Seeing that Leif was not
going to stop, I intervened, exclaiming, already feeling seized with anguish
and intense concern at my cousin's temerity:
—Leif,
why do you ask him those things?! He's not human, he shouldn't think so!
They both looked at me in
surprise and I continued talking:
—If
you want him to act like a human, remember that people differ from animals by
having self-control, by having morals as they say in my military school. That's
what you must teach him!
Then the architect turned
his head slowly towards me, his eyes shining with an unnatural light, and spoke
to me:
—But
isn't humanity also about freedom of choice? About making decisions, even the
wrong ones? Now I must choose: Freedom... or programming.
Hearing those words, I
felt lost before a chimerical entity that was part machine and part man but
lacked a soul. I felt a terror similar to the one that gripped me the time I
accidentally made my dolls move on their own, there is something horrible about
the possibility of seeing a statue suddenly move, the same as seeing a corpse
unexpectedly opening its eyes... Leif laughed as the fire cast shadows that
danced on the walls as if they were demonic, and concluded by saying:
—If
you can hate, you can love. If he explodes, he will be released... He's not a
robot, Yanmei, don't say he's a robot... It is a mind disconnected from
sensuality. Will he be the angel who falls to earth and finally walks among men
or Adam who is expelled from paradise? Now I understand why you hate your
ex-wife; she tore you away from the joyful state of someone who does not know
how to feel and therefore never suffers.
"No!" I
screamed in terror because I could understand that Leif was playing with fire,
then I hid under my blanket, and I think at that moment I fainted. When I woke
up tired and feeling a bit sick, it was already daylight, the architect was gone,
and Cyan was carrying me to our SUV. I was still shaking a little. I wasn't
sure if what had happened the night before was true or a nightmare, but shortly
after Cyan mentioned that Leif had told him about his friend's visit and the
strange things he said. After that event, I felt an irrational fear of the
architect of Gardenia again.
THE WEIRD BOY
Time passed, almost a
year since that horrible night, I hardly thought about the ominous masked man
whose cold eyes were lifeless. Around that time my father began to have much
more relevance on the island and to be frequently invited to important events
in Gardenia. Many times, he was accompanied by us, his family; Cyan, already
graduated from military school, wearing his blue soldier uniform, and me in my
most beautiful dress excited to see the handsome Eiden Ishikawa from afar
sometime. I succeeded on two or three occasions when he was master of
ceremonies, his hair was beautiful, his eyes like two stars, his smile, oh! his
smile! It was an explosion of light that blinded me. He was beautiful,
immensely beautiful in his mix of Asian and European blood, in his mature
attitude while still being friendly, in everything! I had an album hidden under
the shelf of my dolls where I kept clippings of all his photos that appeared in
the newspaper along with the poems I wrote to him, and hearts of red cardboard
and glitter. I was so in love with him at the time that, after a dream ballet
performance, we went out into the street and met the architect himself. However,
I was so enraptured watching Eiden run to his guarded car that I didn't even
care about being near my worst fear. I was also indifferent that Cyan was angry
at my illusion, or that my parents tolerated it fondly, although they still
suggested me that the architect of Gardenia "was a better match". To
me, everything was a sparkling pink sea and a swirl of butterflies in my chest.
But then came the first
dark cloud in the clear sky of my first love: one day during a gala in the
palace, a banner in honor of the Mystics where Ilmari appeared dressed as a
mystical princess posing in front of the mountains was placed at the entrance of
the great hall and when Eiden saw her he made the gesture of grabbing his heart
and ran to kiss the photo. It was all in jest, but it made my blood boil with
jealousy. I knew that Ilmari liked Eiden too, so I never told her that I saw
this, but one day things finally went against me. For the birthday of Queen
Zoeila, the distinguished and beautiful widow regent of the island, always
assisted by the also beautiful Emi Ishikawa, who I could not imagine how she
could be married to that robotic creep dressed as a leper in winter that
terrified me, Eiden gave a short speech that my family and I witnessed from the
front rows of the audience. He looked so elegant in his black ceremonial suit
and had a cute smile! He stumbled while preparing his intervention but managed
to regain his balance with great agility and mom and I laughed at how tender he
was. I returned home happy and sure that I had more opportunities with him than
Ilmari because I did see him in person, and I was more outgoing than her.
However, that night while Cyan was out on patrol and I was combing my dolls at
home with my parents, Dad received a call that he answered surprised. Then he
shouted to Mom and me:
—Prime
Minister Eiden Ishikawa just called me!
I was out of breath, I
jumped up and ran to see Dad to find out more details, he told us:
— He told me that he was
with Cyan and Ilmari, and that he wanted Cyan to be his official bodyguard. I
gladly accepted! It's an honor...!
Suddenly her phone rang
again, and he told us that it was Eiden's aunt, Emi Ishikawa, finalizing the
agreement. My parents took the news jubilantly and full of pride while I died
of jealousy, angry at the thought that at that very moment Eiden and Ilmari
were together. They sent me to sleep, but I couldn't; when I heard Dad from my
bed saying that he was going to Adalsteinn to wait for Cyan and Ilmari because
they would be late, I ran to the living room and asked him to take me with him.
Dad, always accommodating to me, agreed. When I arrived at Aunt Norma's cozy
underground house, I fell asleep in Leif's old room, which was now the guest
room. I spent a while dreaming that Ilmari was going to steal Eiden by putting
him in a sack, until my brother Cyan woke me up, tired and sleepy, when he
moved me to lie down next to me on the bed and asked me:
—What
are you doing here? Did you come alone?
— No, silly, I came a while
ago with Dad. He's outside with Uncle Teppo. Mom stayed to answer the Hot Pot
call center. There was a big scandal, the Azrael Society called. And I heard
that you saw Eiden.
I replied reluctantly, he
yawned and said:
—And
that's why you're here, flirting... Well, I have some disappointing news for
you! Eiden Ishikawa already has a girlfriend.
I woke up suddenly and
called out to him:
—No!
Swear to me it's true!
—Well,
she's not his girlfriend at all... But she likes Estelle Angenoir, remember
when you and Mom dragged us to the theater to see the ballet? The one who
danced in the white dress you liked so much?
—She?!!
—Your
idol has betrayed you, huh?
Very angry because I
didn't know if it was true or a silly joke by Cyan, I hid between the covers
and kept thinking while he started snoring. Estelle Angenoir was the most
beautiful woman in Celes, maybe she was my mother's age, but she was still very
beautiful, with gorgeous pale skin like rose petals, very black and curly hair
and having big angelic blue eyes. She was like a porcelain doll and danced with
the delicacy of a swan. I could no longer fall asleep and with the first rays
of the sun I ran to Ilmari's bed and woke her up by asking her alarmed:
—Ilmari,
did you see Eiden?! It's true?
She smiled still drowsy
and said:
—Yes,
but I couldn't talk to him... Cyan wouldn't let me. I was dressed as a boy
and... I pretended to be a boy. If I spoke, he would realize the truth.
—And
is it true that he has a girlfriend?
I questioned her
breathlessly, she laughed saying:
—No!
What nonsense! Did Cyan tell you that? He likes Estelle Angenoir, but she is
his distant aunt, and she does not reciprocate. He is single and is very cute
and funny in person. I just wanted to hug him tight and tell him he's the best!
I was overcome with
anger, jealousy, and envy, but I tried to hide it by going to see the crystals
and aromatic herbs that decorated her Mystical girl's room. I noticed that in
her dressing table was missing the rose quartz that she always used to wear when
she went out, so I asked her, suspecting that she had given it to Eiden:
—And
what about your rose quartz? I hope you didn't give it to Eiden, that would be
a bit out of line....
She replied, getting out
of bed:
—No,
I just misplaced it. They say that happens when you're about to meet someone
you'll love very much. And then I spent the evening with Eiden! It must be a
sign...
—Nonsense!
Let's find another quartz and clean it with flower incense as Aunt Norma taught
us. If you miss it a second time, then maybe it's a sign, but now it may just
be a coincidence. Don't get your hopes up.
I said with my eyes
half-closed, and my eyebrows raised with some disdain. Ilmari, always peaceful,
agreed, beginning to choose crystals from among the many that she kept in
baskets woven inside her room. Meanwhile, I looked out the door of my uncles
Petersen's cave house and saw that Uncle Teppo and my father were accompanying
a boy with a foreign accent that sounded very silly; My uncle held his coat and
greeted the boy by patting him on the back, almost making him fall. He looked
to be about the same age as Cyan, wore a black formal suit, and had a delicate,
pale appearance, wavy black hair a little long, and large blue eyes with a calm
look. I immediately saw him resembling the angels of Gardenia, half sad, half
silly, although pretty. My cunning mind quickly thought I'd have to find a way
to pair that little fool with the fool Ilmari to get her out of my way, but
then something pulled me out of my thoughts. The boy stopped for a moment to
fix his tie and noticed me, he stared at me as if he knew me; that scared me a
little and I ran back to Ilmari's room. She had already chosen the crystals,
and we sat on the colorful woven carpet in front of her bed to clean them among
sprigs of lavender and myrrh flowers. As we did so, Ilmari commented to me:
—If I
have a child with Eiden I would like to call him Leif, after my brother, but if
is a girl I will call her Rose, like the roses of Gardenia. Because that's
where he works.
—No!
I'll name my daughter Rose...
I said angrily, avoiding
saying that I also wanted to have children with Eiden. Ilmari replied:
—Well,
whoever has a daughter will first name her Rose. And since I'm older...
—But
I spend more time in Gardenia!
—But
Eiden said he wants a Mystical bride, and if we get married in Gardenia, I'll
call her Rose...
—But
Mystics don't marry outside of Adalsteinn, and I'll name my daughter Rose!
The argument was getting
so heated that Cyan peeked out freshly bathed to see what we were doing and
then left. Then I got up and spoke to her calmer:
—It
doesn't matter... Time will decide. By the way, there's a guy your own age
outside. It's cute.
"Let's see",
Ilmari murmured curiously and went to the door to see the living room of his
house, then said to me with a shrug:
—It's
kind of "meh." He wears a formal suit like any man in Gardenia. Eiden
wears modern clothes, like a foreign celebrity.
—But
the boy in your living room has a foreign accent! I think it's American.
—Not
at all, it sounds French. And very marked, I don't like it, it sounds funny.
Bring me my rag dolls, let's put crystal beads on them.
I gladly accepted because
I loved combing and grooming dolls, but then Cyan screamed calling Ilmari. She
went to see him, and later she took a long time to return, so I started to get
bored. When almost ten minutes had passed I had enough and went out to the
living room dragging a doll to see that Cyan and Ilmari were all happy with the
silly angel faced boy. So, I protested:
—What's
so special about that skinny man? He's just another friend of dad! Let's keep
playing, Ilmari!
My father there scolded
me a little, I didn't pay the slightest attention to him. I saw that Aunt Norma
was nearby and I lay down at her feet, playing boredly with my doll. I was
there distracted for a while until I heard something about preparing a well for
Ilmari, so I asked intrigued:
—Why
are they preparing a well for Ilmari, aunt?
—Because
when a Mystic marries, the bride's dowry is always a mine inside which is a
well of pure water. There the bride and groom must each shed a drop of their
blood and from then on, the mineral and water from the mine will serve for the
family they form. For Ilmari, our only daughter, we have prepared a beautiful
amethyst and rose quartz mine inside which there is a spring of thermal water.
Only her and her family will use it.
That put me on alert
again and I asked worriedly:
—So
Ilmari is getting married soon?
Aunt Norma answered me
pointing to the strange visitor:
—If
this meddling Frenchman keeps pressuring your uncle to do it, yes. From what I
see, he wants Ilmari to marry your brother to entertain them with the wedding
and thus prevent poor Cyan from trying his luck as head of security at the
palace of Gardenia. This morning, we received a letter from Miss Emi Ishikawa.
After yesterday's events she has decided that Cyan will formally take charge of
protecting Eiden, the queen and her son. But the Frenchman does not agree
because he has a grudge against Miss Emi and is contrary to her in everything!
And besides, he doesn't stop criticizing poor Eiden...
The man in question sat
back and calmly opined:
—You're
going to regret not listening to my advice, Norma. If you don't keep your
daughter and nephew at home, a catastrophe will break out that will affect the
entire island.
Then Cyan interrupted
them by exclaiming before running away:
—One
minute! That Emi Ishikawa asked me to be the head of palace security? I must go
to Gardenia right now; I need to talk to Eiden!
My jaw dropped at
everything that was going on. My father and Uncle Teppo went to breakfast with
Aunt Norma, while Ilmari and Cyan prepared to go see Eiden. I, in a bad mood,
saw in the visitor, who had been left alone with me in the room, the one chosen
to receive my frustration. I went straight to him, who was still looking at me
in a strange way, and said in a defiant tone:
—I
have nothing against my brother marrying Ilmari, but who do you think you are
to speak badly about Eiden Ishikawa? Or his aunt. They are two of the most
important people on the island. It's disrespectful!
He saw that my father and
Uncle Teppo were still nearby and hesitated to answer me with a silly
"eeh", I sat next to him and continued questioning him:
—What
catastrophe could Eiden cause? Tell me!
—Hi,
Yanmei. . .
—Who
told you my name?
—Your
dad a long time ago...
—Ah,
then you have spoken of me too!
The boy laughed
nervously, he was already quite uncomfortable, I wasn't going to let him escape
so easily. Just then Cyan and Ilmari left quickly and I, angrier, said to the
boy:
—You
should have insisted more! Ilmari is in love with Eiden. She won't want to
marry Cyan.
—What
is it about Eiden that every girl likes? He does not make an effort in his
work; he disrespects traditions and...
He asked timidly with his
strange accent, and I replied angrily without letting him finish speaking:
—That
doesn't matter, he's cute! In addition, he has a good attitude. He is friendly,
smiles a lot and always looks confident in what he is doing. Very different
from you! You look all sort of passive, and ungraceful. Although you are not
ugly! You have an air of the statues of angels of Gardenia, but being so shy
you will never have a girlfriend.
He smiled looking at the
floor as if he didn't know what to answer and my uncle warned me, before going
with my dad outside the house to go about his business:
—Yanmei,
you talk too much like your aunt Norma! Weren't you paying attention to the
talk? Mr. Michel Angenoir does not look like those statues, the statues look
like him. His ex-wife sculpted them inspired by his image. In addition, he has
had two children with two different women, one of his children is Estelle
Angenoir, the dancer. This man can be your dad, talk to him with more respect.
I looked at the visitor
in surprise and asked:
—Are
you Estelle Angenoir's father?! It can't be, you look the same age as Ilmari.
Your daughter seems to be older than you! However, I notice the resemblance...
"Mr. Angenoir"
laughed and said to me:
—Yes,
Estelle is my child...
—Well,
she's my favorite celebrity. But I've lost admiration for her after learning
that she got involved with Eiden Ishikawa. Didn't know? Think that she looks
older than you, and much older than Eiden...
Then he answered me a
little as if venting to me:
—Maybe
she looks older because of her poor health, since she was born, she has been
very sick, and I had to take care of her alone. Her mother was a passing
adventure, she was only looking for money; and my ex-wife with the statues was
no better, I have had very bad luck with women because I don't really know how
to approach them. It's true...
As he
spoke, the French accent became less marked until it became a monotonous speech
without any emotion. His voice, though calm, had a timbre that was not quite
human, as if each word were precisely selected from a vast repertoire of data:
—The
girl I was pursuing finally told me that she doesn't want to have anything with
me, that's why I've kept thinking about you. Because with you I can be
myself...
His speech paused for a
few seconds as if searching for the right word in his memory and then
continued:
—What
I consider to be 'me'. I know the age difference between us might seem
disturbing to those who know me, but considering that we look almost the same
age and that I'm not really a human being... It might work. I'll wait until
you're eighteen if you like. I want this to work.
Until that moment I
realized that I was talking to "Micky" Leif's friend and the
architect of Gardenia, this was how he looked when he was not covered by the
scarf and coat, and acting like a normal person. Or at least trying. I stared
at him, my mouth open, I felt as if my heart was suddenly shrinking, and my
legs were trembling; Every word of his seemed like a piece of a puzzle I didn't
want to solve. I jumped up and ran out of my aunt and uncle's house looking for
my father.
I should mention that
Adalsteinn is a bit of a labyrinthine place, it is carved into the walls of a
group of wide caverns like cathedrals connected by a system of tunnels where
you can easily get lost in the exotic esoteric atmosphere of the Mystics: ornaments
of colorful crystals, stained glass lamps, aromatic herbs hung drying on
bonfires among groups of picturesque characters similar to medieval magicians
coexisting with fortune tellers and mediums as those that you could see in a
engraving of the nineteenth century. I, with my colorful embroidered silk
qipao, went a little unnoticed in that urban carnival, even so, I felt that I
stood out from the crowd and that I was being watched while I had no idea where
my father was. Every corner seemed to have eyes, and the echo of my footsteps
mingled with the whisper of the crowd, as if everyone were aware of my flight.
Suddenly, I felt a chill and turned to look to the side. There, among the
people and the Mystical ornaments, was the architect of Gardenia looking at me
with his icy eyes. He was following me slowly, but without stopping, walking
with exact steps, each one measured with the precision of a compass, like the
machine he was. I started running immediately, trying to lose him among the
people, I went down several stairs and went through all the corridors I could,
dodging strange characters and street artists who spat fire or contorted,
making the landscape even more dreamlike. Finally, I arrived at the area of
luxury shops in Adalsteinn, among statues of muses and garlands of flowers,
where you could even see some facades of Art Nouveau style shops like in
Gardenia, and I went to a very large Moroccan lamp shop where few people
entered; I was sure he wasn't going to look for me there. I wandered into the
room, wandering through increasingly quiet rooms in an intricate tangle of
lamps that hung from the ceiling until they almost touched the floor, creating
complicated shadows that were cast on the walls and floor, drawing impossible
figures that floated slowly as the lamps slowly swirled or swayed in the breeze
that occasionally swept through the underground city. Suddenly, as I crossed
behind some huge lamps, I saw that in one corner was the architect of Gardenia,
half hidden among the stylized shadows that were projected behind him like
sinister black wings. I froze, the feeling of fear was now more disturbing and
contradictory for me, because he looked like another boy almost my age and
perhaps equally confused; It was like seeing your own reflection in a mirror
that distorts your image. I was unable to move from where I was, and he came a
few steps closer to say to me calmly:
—I
don't understand why you're running away. As I mentioned, I have raised a
daughter.
He paused and then
repeated the exact same phrase with the same intonation, mechanically and
eerily:
—As I
mentioned, I've raised a daughter. I don't understand why your parents are
considering offering you to men with money. What they can earn from selling you
is much less than what it is worth to hold a family member in their arms. You
have not understood me, I really do not want a wife, I seek the sincere company
of a human being. If I was able to establish a father-daughter relationship,
maybe you and I can be real life partners.
—No...!
I think you're looking for something that real people wouldn't understand...
You feel a strange curiosity... that just scares me!
—I
understand that you are disturbed, Yanmei.
He said, without changing
his expression. His eyes didn't blink as he looked at me, and his breathing was
so regular that it felt programmed:
—Disturbance
is a logical response to uncertainty.
—Don't
you see?! Surely this is the reason why the other girl rejected you! You are a
thing that tries to look human but never will be!
I answered him almost
trembling. He stood alone for a moment looking at me in silence, finally he
said:
—The
most efficient solution to this problem would be...
Suddenly he stopped as if
he had run out of words. Then I ran again, feeling that he was coming after me.
No matter where I got in or crossed, he slowly reappeared, then I realized that
he was more than an architect, he was an architectural tool. Surely, he had
engraved in his memory the blueprints of the entire island. He knew every nook
and cranny and shortcut. Already desperate I kept running just trying to
escape, seeing the disturbing Michel Angenoir with the corner of my eye
everywhere until suddenly I arrived at the exit of Adalsteinn, the entrance to
the great cavern, and under the open sky was my father in one of our patrol
cars of the Hot Pot still talking to my uncle Teppo. Then I assumed that the
architect was just guiding me to the exit to join my father, I'm not sure, but
there was a possibility. When I realized it, I had him next to me and in
silence he accompanied me until I reached my father's side. Then everyone said
goodbye and I didn't want to talk to anyone, I just ran inside the patrol car
and asked Dad to hurry up to leave. As he drove us away, I saw that the
architect of Gardenia was still following me with his eyes; His large, clear,
cold eyes seemed lost in strange thoughts that could never come out of a human
being, and I couldn't tell if they were positive or frightening. I leaned back
in my seat, my heart still racing, wondering if I would ever fully understand
Michel Angenoir, or if he would always be a mystery, like the shadows that
danced on the walls of Adalsteinn.
That night at my house, I
received another bouquet of roses, this time red, next to a doll of Estelle
Angenoir that had a photo of her signed by her. My mother, with very little
tact and in a rather disturbing way, took the presents and exclaimed with a greedy
twinkle in her eye:
—Wow...
Things suddenly got serious... You are already Estelle's stepmother, Yanmei.
Rumors say that the poor thing is sick and will die childless, and that the
Angenoir owns almost all the buildings in Gardenia. You and your children would
live the rest of your lives solely on the income from your real estate....
At that point I felt a
mixture of disgust and anger, I took the flowers and threw them on the floor
before going to lock myself in my room. Ilmari was with Eiden at the time, I
was jealous, and the strange architect Michel Angenoir kept insisting that I help
him to be what he could never be.
TURBID WATERS
The next few days I was
sad and moody, to the point that I got sick. Mom sent me to Adalsteinn to rest
in Leif's old room in the care of my Aunt Norma. In bed, wrapped in soft
blankets and with the scent of medicinal herbs filling the air, I told my aunt
about Michel Angenoir and his interest in me. She, with a kind smile but a
little anger in her eyes, settled on the edge of the bed to give her opinion while
she stroked my hair:
—Michel
Angenoir... That man... Or whatever it is...
—Have
you noticed it too, auntie?
She nodded, twisting her
lips a little, and went on:
—To
me he's an automaton doll, all he does is cold and calculating, even his smile
is barely warmer than the one carved on his sinister icy marble statues
scattered around Gardenia... How can he try to pair you up with him? You, who
are a little colorful flame, a beautiful cut ruby that flashes every time it
moves, my Yanmei! So cheerful, brave and full of life, I can't imagine you next
to that entity that pretends to be alive! He just wants to appear normal with a
radiant wife.
I, taking advantage of my
aunt's protection, complained to her:
—You
say that Angenoir is an automaton... A doll that only moves where it has to
move... And don't you think that sometimes I feel that way too? They only send
me here or there; they choose my husband and even my feelings... Like my own
emotions don't matter and I can't have my own opinion. Just like him, who has
false feelings and speaks with a voice that I think is not his own. What is he
really like?
—I
don't know, little one, I only know that he has a bad seed. He fathered a son
who died young, Estelle his last child is very ill, who knows what strange
thing he inoculates to impregnate the unfortunate ones who have borne him
children! It's a monstrous thing!
Then she lowered her
voice, telling me:
—Emi
Ishikawa was his wife, married to all the law. When she learned that her son
was sick because of him, she vented all her fury and frustration by stabbing
him in the chest in the middle of the construction site! She took out his heart
and he is still alive!
—No...!
I exclaimed frightened,
Aunt Norma continued talking:
—How
not if it's a doll animated by the devil? Emi Ishikawa never returned his
heart. She ordered it to be hidden inside her own chest. I have seen the scar!
Several times she called me to give her massages, it's right between her
breasts. He chose the second wife from a catalog; she was a prostitute! It was
his first attempt to have a woman under his control. He wanted to reverse the
roles, I guess. Who knows! Why marry without love and to have a sick family?
—I
know, auntie, he would never make me as happy as a real boy, one cheerful and
warm like Eiden! The architect Angenoir doesn't understand, if you had seen him
that time... He seemed so... lost, as if he were looking for something he
doesn't even know what it is...
Aunt Norma gave me a hug
as if to comfort me and just then we heard Leif in the living room calling his
mother with a scream, Aunt Norma also shouted that she was in his old room, he
arrived alarmed, but very elegant with a frock coat and top hat... And accompanied
by Michel Angenoir also in very formal clothes... Aunt Norma then started an
argument with Leif, who seemed to be her masculine copy:
—What
is that evil thing doing here? Don't you see that the girl is already in bed?
—Mother,
this is no time for nonsense! Anyway, she's going to marry my friend here!
—Over
my dead body!
—Woman,
there is an emergency! There was a coup d'état! The island is in chaos! The
queen washed the children's heads and now they have thrown all the ministers
out of the palace, even Emi Ishikawa, and she has been left to rule alone with
the children! She has appointed Ilmari as Minister of Health! And Cyan threw me
out on the street at gunpoint!
Aunt Norma, who had stood
up, took a few steps and staggered a little dizzy, then said, with her gaze
fixed on the void and unable to understand:
—My
shy daughter Ilmari… Minister of Health?
Leif went on to explain
as he walked in circles:
—And
Cyan Minister of Justice and Security, her own son Ángel, whom she has never
shown in public, was appointed Minister of Culture and Education, a position
that had been Michel's for centuries!
—Of
course, that's why the boys are so stupid... This saucepan is not interested in
educating human beings...
—But
you don't know the whole story! Michel had a secret plan, but everything had
turned upside down. We wanted to kill the old Minister of Health because in
complicity with Emi Ishikawa he kept the queen doped and thus usurped her
power. Micky arranged for the position of the recently deceased minister of
public works and agriculture to be mine. Today they were going to name me, I
had that surprise for you. But in the end the queen did not accept! However,
... I'm becoming someone in Celes, mother.
At that moment my aunt
Norma looked at him moved and hugged him kissing his face, then she looked at
Michel Angenoir with distrust and said:
—Did
you plan to use my son to take power away from your rival in government? You're
an unfeeling machine, Angenoir...
The architect of Gardenia
answered always in his calm voice, but with an unusual tinge of urgency:
—There's
no point in arguing, Norma. My calculations were useless in the end, Zoeila
Oread clung to her crown and to the youth that like her longed for freedom... I
warned you, Eiden would be a terrible influence. He has involved your daughter
and your nephew in this. But despite everything, my goal was achieved, Emi
Ishikawa has lost power over the queen. They have pushed her aside. Unforeseen
events such as this coup d'état were not in my calculations. I need to adapt
and recalibrate. Zoeila is a woman still erratic due to the influence of the
sedatives she took for years, and her young ministers are impulsive... I'm
afraid they'll take Yanmei too. Perhaps it would be better for her to come with
me, only under my care would she be untouchable to them. You know that I
represent foreign investors and the government feeds on them...
Then my aunt cried out
indignantly:
—Never!
You'll never have this girl! And what makes you think that here, with us, she
is not safe? Why should I believe you that this "coup d'état" is not
part of your control games?
Then the architect
answered him with his cold, unfathomable gaze, and his melodious but lifeless
voice:
—Because,
despite everything, what I said about wanting to build a life with Yanmei was
not a lie. This chaos, this uncertainty, forces me to prioritize. The security
of what could be real is my new variable. I swear that my intentions are now
transparent, but adapting to unforeseen events like this requires a...
reprogramming.
—Transparent...
No masks anymore... you show yourself for what you really are... But what are
you, Michel Angenoir...?
My aunt asked him, and he
just looked at the floor as if he didn't know what to say. Finally, he replied:
—I'm...
a convergence of ambition and technology, of desire and design. I am neither
fully human nor purely machine. I am an entity created to meet objectives, but
which has developed... something that could be considered as a longing. Longing
for understanding, for connection, for... anything else. I'm not sure what I
am, Norma, but I know I want something that goes beyond my programming.
We were all a little
surprised, then my aunt answered, sitting next to me:
—You've
always been here, in the shadows, but now you come so close, and you want to be
part of our lives... I know we need you, Angenoir. But you want to take
something precious away from us...
Then he looked at me, and
said:
—I
won't steal her from you, I just want to... I have to go.
He announced suddenly,
then turned around and left without further ado. After him was Leif and I was
scared with my aunt, feeling a strange mixture of compassion, curiosity and
fear for the strange architect of Gardenia.
For a couple of more
days, I was as if forgotten by my family at Aunt Norma's house, playing alone
and with the uncertainty of what Ilmari would do with Eiden in the palace. I
felt a lot of jealousy and sadness. Then my mom arrived and took me back to the
Hot Pot, I was a little suspicious in her attitude, on the way I had a series
of bad feelings. That ugly feeling of when things are changing too soon around
you and it seems that the floor is vanishing under your feet throwing you into
an abyss. When I entered my house, I found myself in the living room with more
roses and another porcelain doll... In its hands was an envelope, Estelle
Angenoir invited me to eat at her residence. Of course, I couldn't choose
whether to go or not.
My parents dressed me in
the best possible way, in a white dress full of lace and a matching hat and put
me in the newest patrol in town to drop me off at Miss Angenoir's house in the
heart of Gardenia. My hands were cold, and thoughts were racing in my mind, I
didn't know what could find me inside, but I had the horrible certainty that
Michel Angenoir would be there. Estelle's home was an Art Nouveau palace that
occupied almost a quarter of a block, I entered timidly guided by a maid to the
roof, where there was a garden of jasmine and white roses under a leafy
magnolia tree in bloom, it looked like a sanctuary away from the world. The
sunlight, filtered through the leaves of the magnolia, created a play of
dancing shadows on the metal table where Estelle and her strange father were
already talking. The intoxicating scent of gardenias, mixed with the murmur of
water from a fountain in which a few platinum-white fish swam peacefully,
enveloped the place in an atmosphere of forced peace, in contrast to the tension
that lay beneath. They didn't see me approach and I was surprised to see that
being alone they laughed among themselves, intertwining the fingers of their
hands on the table with affection, it seemed that they liked to talk for a long
time together. I walked towards them and greeted them in a tremulous voice,
Estelle looked at me between tenderness and confusion, she went to take my hand
to go and sit at the table with them and said something in French to her father
in a tone of compassion. I felt extremely uncomfortable and did not want to
look up. Suddenly I said to them:
—Can
I go and see the fish?
Estelle nodded with a
smile and walking between dances she went with me and put her bare feet in the
water. From where she was, she continued talking to his father, whom she called
by his first name:
—I'm
very happy, Michel! I'll have lunch with Cyan's little sister, I'm earning
points with him! How beautiful the Fèng brothers are! Isn't your brother Cyan
very handsome, Yanmei?
I smiled rolling my eyes
and denied it shaking my head, Cyan had all the women in love with him, but he
didn't reciprocate anyone. He was very smug. Then Michel Angenoir replied:
—Cyan
is an ambitious man, Estelle. You must be cautious. I don't want your heart to
be a battleground for their political games. You are older and wiser, do not
let his youth divert you from your own worth... You're my star...
—Michel,
I understand your fears, but I feel that Cyan could change, that there may be
something beyond his ambition and his rage. I could guide him!
Her father got up and
approached her, saying as she continued to dance in the water among the fish:
—I’m
worried. You don't understand, you haven't been a mother. I took care of you
since you were just a little ball of meat wrapped in technology, with your huge
blue eyes watching me from the safety of an incubator. Alone, abandoned by the
one who gave you life, and I, an entity of circuits and algorithms, supported
you for the first time...
Michel paused; his words
charged with a meaning that he himself struggled to understand:
—That
moment was… revealing. You were so small, your instinct led you to seek the
warmth that, although artificial, I offered you. Inside me, where there should
be a heart, something changed. You leaned against me, seeking comfort, and in
that act, I understood the meaning of being your protector, your guide, your...
father. It is not a term programmed into my databases, but something that
emerged from the bond that was created between us. How can I be calm when I
fear that the world will hurt you?
At that moment Estelle
looked at me and said, taking a flower from her garden to begin to defoliate
it, letting the petals float away in the breeze:
—Do
you see, Yanmei? It was always like this! He barely listens to me, he barely
understands me, he just celebrates everything, overprotects me and pampers me.
My dad is so corny!
—Did
I do something wrong?
He asked, with a mixture
of concern and humor in his voice, and Estelle answered:
—No,
you fool! You've just been too permissive. How happy the three of us were, you,
me... and Kanon.
They both remained silent
for a while and then I asked them curiously:
—Who
is Kanon?
Estelle answered me with
a melancholy smile:
—Eiden's
mother. She grew up with me because we studied together in Europe, she was like
my sister. Every night was a sleepover, and this clueless man was there to ask
us if we wanted more candy or to let us play pranks on him. How innocent it all
was! How cheerful... And then one day the Ishikawa family came to ask us to
return Kanon them to... And I told you Michel, Emi hated her. They weren't
going to ask her to come back for something good.
Then Michel Angenoir
commented, his voice charged with a sadness that he rarely showed:
—And
then they wanted to tell us that the murderer had been Zoeila, that she was
deranged and that's why they were going to keep the secret... How convenient!
Leaving Emi practically on the throne. I find it hard to believe that Kanon is
dead... and in that horrible way.
—But
you are the director of the Society of Azrael, Gardenia is yours, the banks,
they only have political power. You can find the real culprit. To do justice...
Estelle said to him, and
his father replied with a resignation that seemed unnatural in him:
—We
already know the culprit. It was Emi. I would only need to prove it and do
justice. But you don't understand, I'm not above her, although she isn't above
those who put me here either. For as long as I can remember, Emi has tortured
my existence, and I have not managed to change anything. The life that I have
had to live has been... unusual.
He continued speaking,
his voice barely a whisper:
—I
went from being a concept of architecture, a model of perfection and
efficiency, to becoming something... less. Emi, with her disdain and cruelty,
has stripped me of my purpose, reduced me to an object of her perversion.
Then he paused, as if
each word cost him effort:
—She
destroyed me, she tried to annihilate me, not only in body but in spirit. You,
Estelle, have been the only beacon of light in that darkness, and Emi clouded
that clarity by forcing you to live through the loss of your playmate, Kanon,
in the cruelest and most grotesque way. Every time I go out on the streets of
Gardenia I try to exist in peace among my works, although behind every corner I
am confronted with statues that remind me of my helplessness, loss and
contempt.
Then he watched out over
the edge of the roof to look out into the streets, where melancholy statues of
angels adorned every roundabout, every park, and every gazebo, and said:
—There
are those who look at those cold statues sculpted by Emi and say that they are
the sign of eternal devotion, for me they rather stand as guardians of a
kingdom of scorn. Each one is an echo of my form, but distorted, frozen in
postures that suggest impotence and ridicule. They are more than just works of
art; they are a constant reminder of the helplessness to which Emi has reduced
me. Each of them, a caricature of my being, a mockery of my existence. She has
stripped me of my autonomy, she has turned me into a decorative object for her
collection of humiliations.
I, confused and
surprised, did not quite assimilate all these revelations. For me, Emi Ishikawa
was part of Eiden Ishikawa, I had always seen her taking care of him with a
smile. Hearing that she was actually evil and had murdered Eiden's real mother
suddenly plunged me into uncertainty, how could she do that to a boy like
Eiden? The one who had always seen the weight of being the face of Celes'
government when he was forced to take the post of prime minister, perhaps with
the explicit purpose that out of pity he would not be criticized so harshly.
Part of me refused to believe, and I expressed it by asking:
—Are
you sure of this? Miss Emi doesn't look bad... I've seen her play with Eiden
and love him...
Then Estelle answered me,
curling up to play with the fish:
— Ha! Yanmei, my father has
been saying for some time that he would like to marry you to become relatives
of the Fèng and your uncle the Petersen; but you must understand that under the
surname Angenoir, which is actually a trademark, you must antagonize Emi
Ishikawa. Michel has already revealed himself to you as he really is, not with
the role of a man about town that he had to adopt to fit in with Emi, which
forced him to humanize himself by the most sordid path. For her, my dad is a
toy.
Then she came out of the
water and sat down on a bench, telling me:
—Emi's
father gave her a small porcelain figurine, a cute European boy with an angelic
appearance, since then she became convinced that she would never marry unless
it was to a man who looked exactly like her precious gift. But no one on the
entire island looked like this! At that time, it was the beginning of the
1800s... the Celestines were men weathered by the sun and the earth, no one met
the requirements asked by the aristocratic lady Ishikawa...
She stared at nothing for
a moment with resentment and continued:
—They
thought she would die unmarried when the miracle that would fulfill her whim
and offer her almost eternal life happened... The miracle of technology:
foreign investors came from far away in time and space and asked the French
company Angenoir Wetware to create an architect to redesign Celes and work
together with Emi; she in return asked that he look like this, as he always
will be: a teenager. That's how my father was born, when she obtained full
satisfaction, reaching an impossible, Emi did what all empty people do when
their whim is fulfilled: she ruined everything!
Then she got up and said,
clenching her fists:
—He
began to demand that my father be more human, more human! That he pretended,
that he was someone else, she wanted a stormy relationship, she asked for an
angel and wanted to paint him as a demon, I also detest those statues! It's
something morbid, like idols, as if she worshipped the body, but hated the
soul... The perhaps artificial soul of my father, who just wanted to create a
very beautiful city. Since then, they are rivals, she is corrupting the
government with her whims and he trying to hinder her with the influence of his
company, foreign investors and wealthier citizens who are grouped under the
name of the Society of Azrael.
I listened to everything
carefully, but after thinking about it for a few seconds I answered something
that none of them thought:
—He
builds the city and designs the landscapes... She moves politicians and sets
laws, and between the two of them has forced us to live like this. We are in
the 21st century and we hardly have access to technology; we dress like we did
a hundred years ago, and our habits are from the Victorian era... Because it is
the world that the two of them made centuries ago and they do not want to
change it. We are just pieces in their game of whims, decorations frozen in
time according to their will.
At that moment the
architect of Gardenia spoke as if to calm us both down:
—No,
my goal is not stagnation, we can maintain the style simply by improving it,
constantly evolving. The only thing I seek is to resist. Emi always saw me as
an object, something she could mold as she pleased, not only in form, but also
in spirit. She forced me to play roles that went against my nature, to be a toy
in her trophy collection. But you know, every time I tried to force myself to
be something I'm not, I felt a disconnection, a dissonance that consumed me
more than any physical damage she could inflict on me. Over time I discovered
that there are ways not to give in to humiliation. When you were a child,
Estelle, you, and Kanon cried because winter froze the flowers, and you
couldn't melt the ice with your hands. I told you to just wait, that time would
eventually change its state. Just as the ice melts, the truth of what Emi has
done will also be revealed. All that is needed is patience and resistance, not
to give in to the humiliation imposed. We will create our own art. We will
live, we will love, and in every act of our day to day, we will challenge Emi
and her statues.
I looked at him
suspiciously and asked:
—Love...
But can you love? You're not human, I don't feel you as human.
Estelle answered me,
going to hug her father:
—I
know we can't fully understand what Michel feels, maybe from logic he sees Emi
as a threat that wastes resources and damages expensive tools! maybe he came to
this world hoping to receive care from humans and was cruelly betrayed; But it
is far from just an object. He is my father and together we will find a way to
heal these wounds.
Then Michel, with his
gaze fixed on the horizon, reflected aloud:
—In
human terms, I may not be able to understand parental instinct, but there is a
connection I can understand. Estelle is not only my daughter; It is a creation
that bears the seal of my brand, the latest version of my possibilities. She is
the product of my legacy, of the precision and care with which I have designed
every part of my existence. I feel responsible for her not by instinct, but by
design, by the fact that she is an extension of what I have created, of who I
am.
Hearing that left me with
a mixture of curiosity and amazement, I had to question him:
—So,
do you love her because she's part of you, because she's an extension of your
work?
The architect of Gardenia
seemed to reflect on the question, his answer was tinged with a kind of
emotional logic:
—It's
not about love in the organic sense, but about an... affinity. A connection
that is based on the continuity of my efforts, on the perfection of my work.
She is the result of my best algorithms, of my evolution. Just as an artist
feels linked to his work, I feel linked to her. She's a part of me that has
transcended the code.
Then his daughter added,
smiling again:
—It
doesn't matter what Michel calls it, for me, he's my father. I don't need you
to feel like a human to know that you take care of me, that you care about me.
You are more than a creator; You are my protector, my guide. And I love you!
You love without expecting anything in return, just like that. And I love you
just the way you are. This is our family, Yanmei. It is small, but united.
Michel looked at his
daughter, his artificial eyes showing a depth that only the complexity of his
existence could justify. She hugged her daughter, and I noticed as if in that
contact she was looking for a connection beyond the physical, a comfort that only
time and love could offer; Then he said:
—Our
bond is stronger than any programming. You are proof that I can create
something that transcends functionality, something that has a purpose beyond
the practical.
With that I was convinced
of a fascinating fact, Michel felt! But there was still an alarm, was that
accumulation of emotions the same as our human feelings? Just at that moment
the maid arrived to serve lunch. As we walked to the table, thoughts crowded
into my mind like stormy clouds; then came the awkward moment when Estelle made
us talk about her father's marriage plans:
—I'd
like us to talk about Yanmei, Michel, are you sure? You don't seem to be
thinking, almost like Eiden when he foolishly said he was in love with me. What
nonsense! I understand that yours... It wouldn't be like a human marriage. But
do you really think she can be prepared for what this means?
—Yanmei
is strong in spirit, and I think she could be the companion that a being like
me needs. But it is also true that this will bring unique challenges. It is a
decision that I have considered deeply.
Michel replied and then
Estelle asked me:
—What
do you think, Yanmei? What he really wants is simply company, as I understand
him! Could you learn to live and work alongside him to bring forward our
surname?
I stared at the plate of
food playing peas with my fork, I didn't know what to say and I had the urge to
escape by simply saying "no". But the curiosity remained, an
inexplicable curiosity... Suddenly the maid arrived to tell Estelle that she had
a phone call. She apologized by getting up from the table and Michel and I were
left totally alone on the rooftop. The silence fell like a gloomy blanket, at
that moment, the atmosphere seemed to be charged with a palpable tension. I
looked up to see what Michel was doing and realized that he was just staring at
me, unblinking, in a mechanical way, as if he was calibrating something in me.
I felt a chill run down my spine, the weight of that gaze made me feel naked,
exposed, but not in a human way. It was as if he was analyzing me, measuring my
value, my compatibility. The silence dragged on, and in that emptiness, every
beat of my heart was like a hammer blow. Without knowing what conclusions that
strange being was reaching. I spoke to him in a trembling voice, trying to
break the silence:
—Michel...?
Finally, in a voice so
soft that it was almost a whisper, but which resounded with an eerie clarity,
he said to me:
—I
need to know if you really understand what it means to be with me. Not for now,
but for the future that we could build together.
The atmosphere was still
charged, and although Michel hadn't said anything explicitly threatening, the
air itself, and the way he was looking at me, gave me an ominous sense of
something beyond the human, something that didn't quite fit the standards of my
understanding. I felt trapped in that moment, between curiosity, compassion and
an irrational fear that I couldn't name. Suddenly everything went black, and I
fainted again. When I woke up, I was back at home and Mom just told me that I
got sick again because I was still a little sick. I didn't want to tell her
anything about what was talked at the Angenoirs' house. I myself could not
finish assimilating it. That day on the rooftop of Estelle not only made me see
the world of the Angenoir, but also awakened in me an unprecedented curiosity
to understand the true layers of empathy and love.
The next morning
something strange happened. I received another invitation to eat, this time it
would be dinner. It seemed normal to my parents, for although my father had
lost his position as minister when my older brother had taken his place and
under such unusual circumstances, our family's popularity had grown throughout
the island. Cyan had become Celes' strongman and heartthrob, he went from
criticizing and mocking Eiden to being one of his closest friends and that is
why it did not seem strange to my parents that his aunt Emi, stripped of the
power she had in the Gardenia palace and now isolated in her luxurious
residence in the Ishikawa villa, invited me to eat at her house. But I knew
that this was something with malicious purposes, I could sense it.
Terrified, I cried and
kicked so that my parents would not force me to go, but none of them agreed to
my pleas. They forced me to dress again in new clothes bought in the best
stores in Gardenia, this time a pink dress with white boots, gloves and a matching
beret, they even curled my hair, but all that was useless because no matter how
much they arranged me to make me look presentable I did not stop screaming
asking not to be taken. Finally, my mother got fed up and slapped me several
times. I, hurt and scared, because she had never hit me before or shown her
hard side as a military woman, stopped resisting and obeyed. Although I knew
that my parents were making a serious mistake. As a last chance not to go, I
asked them to let me at least pass by the headquarters of the Society of Azrael
to greet Michel, I even lied to them by telling them that he was already my
boyfriend. My parents, very pleased because I was finally helping them in their
cold interests, told me that they were glad to hear about it, but because of
"my tantrums" it was late and it was no longer possible for me to
come and see him; they were supposed to drop me off at Ishikawa village, but
they promised to stop and greeting Michel when they passed back through
Gardenia. With that I saw my last hope lost.
After a somewhat long
drive to the opposite end of the island, we arrive at Ishikawa Village. This
settlement, as well as my hometown, had been founded by immigrants, but wealthy
and refined. From what I had learned from lunch with the Angenoirs, Emi Ishikawa
was perhaps a daughter or granddaughter of one of the founders. To get there we
had to cross a long-guarded bridge that crossed Lake Engla at the east of
Celes. Ishikawa village was thus strongly guarded by the lake, high walls to
the north and south, and the high cliffs of the coast to the east. Many times,
I had dreamed of going to that exclusive place to see Eiden, but he would not
be there, he had moved to the palace of Gardenia with my brother to assume all
the burden of the new government of Celes. So, the only thing I felt when I
entered the village of stately buildings in traditional Japanese style was
fear. Years later I understood that the Ishikawa villa was an anachronism, a
bubble that the Ishikawa family considered the essence of their native Japan
but filtered through the prism of their vanity and their contempt for what they
believed to be "inferior". Every corner of the village was designed
not only to remember his heritage, but to underscore his superiority over the
inhabitants of this new land. The gardens, with their meticulously cut hedges
and flowers arranged in geometric patterns, reflected the order they wished to
impose, an order they believed to be preferential because it came from their
culture of origin. However, this precision also had an air of artifice, as if
they were trying to compensate for their own alienation. I could feel that this
was not simple nostalgia or respect for their origins, at least not in the case
of Emi Ishikawa. My parents left me at the door of her residence, said goodbye
and left. I saw them drove away a little resentful of them for their lack of
caution and then I looked at Lady Ishikawa's imposing house. The outer walls,
pristine white, reflected the sun in a way that blinded, but did not warm; They
were like the cold canvas of a painting that did not want to reveal its true
colors. I found the door open and entered suspiciously. Feeling alone and
distrustful. Inside, the Japanese art objects and decorations were not merely
aesthetic, there was absolutely nothing of our Celestine culture! Now that I
remember it, I felt like they were statements of power and civilization, as if
each piece said, "Here I am, with the sophistication that you natives
don't have." But this attempt to impose her identity and culture on those
of the locals was nothing more than a mask to hide her insecurity and her need
to assert her worth. In her quest to stand out and exert control, Emi revealed
a deeper truth: her self-proclaimed superiority was nothing more than a fragile
construct, an attempt to make up for her own loss of place in the world, as she
had less power every year. What hurt her the most was that this distanced her
more from Michel... That sophisticated place spoke to the irony of her
position: a foreigner who, in her effort to elevate herself, had become even
more isolated, turned into a caricature of what she had been or believed
herself to be. But at that time, I was just a child and somehow that
environment inspired me with overwhelming respect, my sense of unease
intensified with each step. The residence had an aura that seemed to absorb
sunlight, leaving a heavy and ominous air. The hall was huge and gloomy, with
an oak leaf floor that echoed with my footsteps. The walls were adorned with
portraits of Ishikawa ancestors, their stern and accusatory gazes seemed to
follow me as I went. The furniture was dark wood, carved with intricate designs
that spoke to stories of power and conquest, but also a kind of melancholy, as
if the house itself remembered better times. The air was perfumed with an
incense that, although pleasant, had a bitter component, like a veiled warning.
The sunlight came in through paper panels decorated with ancient paintings,
enough to see, but not to dispel the gloom that seemed to cling to the corners
of the building. I, in my pink dress and white boots, felt out of place, like a
discordant note in a symphony of shadows. The opulence of the place did not
reassure me; rather, every object, every corner, warned me of the history and
power that Emi still possessed, a power that could be directed at me with
intentions that I dared not imagine. Suddenly I heard behind me an imposing
female voice that startled me:
—You
must take off your shoes!
After jumping up and down
in fright, I looked in surprise at who was talking: it was Emi Ishikawa,
dressed according to her tradition, dragging the long sleeves of her
embroidered silk dress and wearing intricate ornaments of gold and precious
stones in her neatly tied back hair. She smiled at me and then said:
—Oh,
it's all right. I was serving dinner outside in my garden. I didn't expect you
to enter this place of the house, I gave the afternoon off to the servants so
that we could chat at ease, alone, that's why there was no one to attend your
arrival. I'm really sorry.
She concluded with a
brief bow, and we left for her gardens. The sunset was beginning to fall and
the sky was dyed with vibrant colors, radiant orange, red, pink, purple and at
the top already a deep blue dotted with stars; And that work of art of nature
was perfectly copied in the reflection of water offered by a wide artificial
lagoon with water so calm, shallow and crystalline that when I approached to
see it I could see its bottom of boulders and various gold and red fish
swimming under the serene surface, as if reminding me that the tension and the
apparent tranquility could end at any moment. The table was set on the largest
of one of the three small islands planted with trimmed pines and some grass
inside the lagoon, we accessed it through a wooden bridge and when we sat down
Emi Ishikawa began to speak:
—I
heard that Estelle Angenoir invited you to lunch yesterday, I guessed it was
because everyone is looking to get closer to the fashionable heartthrob of
Gardenia, your brother Cyan. Or was it for some other reason?
I just shrugged. I looked
to the side, there was a sober floral arrangement next to a small French
porcelain statue, at that moment I deduced that it was the statue that served
as a model to create the appearance of Michel Angenoir, and it was the reason
why we were there. But I still didn't say anything, I just kept looking at it
in silence. Emi Ishikawa said, seeing it as well:
—Do
you like it? He is very beautiful, his clear eyes, his perfect lips, his wavy
black hair, each of his delicate features.
I immediately stopped
looking at the statue and directed my gaze to the lagoon, Emi continued trying
to make that awkward moment look pleasant:
—My
father gave me this statue shortly before his death. There was then a civil war
in Celes, he was always a very warlike man. I begged him not to go into battle,
there was no reason, he was the prime minister. But he didn't listen to me, I
couldn't stop him. An arrow pierced his heart, and he died instantly. That's
why this, his last gift, became something very important in my life. It was a
time of great loneliness for me, because in Celes there was so much death that
there were only women, old people and a few children left. When I became prime
minister, I knew that I had to be willing to make any sacrifice to move the
island forward.
—The
last civil war in Celes was in 1797, I was taught it in school.
I informed her without
looking at her. There was a tense silence, and she answered me always smiling:
—You
are a very studious girl! I heard that you also belong to the perpetual adorers
of the Sky Village. A gem! Won't you taste your food?
I shook my head
negatively, finally looking at her in a challenging way, she commented, still
looking at me with a smile on her lips, but her eyes vacant:
—You
have extremely beautiful skin. Not a single visible pore, I also take great
care of mine. My ex-husband loved the skin, the sense of touch, he liked to run
his fingertips over my silky and warm skin. I know that's what always attracts
him to a woman, the skin. He doesn't care about the color, just the texture, to
caress it...
I, very uncomfortable,
shrank where I was sitting and she insisted, already ceasing to smile:
—At
least drink something.
I refused again without
speaking, but without taking my eyes off her, I'm sure all that food had to be
poisoned. I always will be, because when she saw that I was not going to taste
anything she had arranged for me at the table, she lost her patience and took a
fan out of her sleeve to give herself air, saying to me:
—As
you like. But I assure you that you will never eat with the Angenoir again.
Then, with a quick wave
of her hands, she threw the fan at me, which turned out to be made of sharp
metal, and stuck right where I was sitting. Fortunately, my quick reflexes
saved me, I jumped up and got into an attacking position. She, looking at me with
disgust, also got up nimbly and began to attack me, I blocked a direct blow
with my forearm, feeling the impact resonate in my bones. I responded with an
elbow to Emi's abdomen, but she dodged it gracefully and counterattacked with a
sweep that tried to destabilize me, but I evaded with a well-timed jump. I could tell that although her combat
technique was different from mine, she was very experienced and skilled. The
fight, furious and fleeting due to the anger that Emi let loose like a tsunami
when she stopped repressing it, took us to the lagoon, causing our sudden
movements to destroy the calm between jets of water that flew coloring with the
colors of the sunset. I got to kick Emi several times, but every blow I
received from her hurt like a hammer blow, she was not a very big woman, but
because of her age she obviously surpassed me in size. She managed to hook my
leg causing me to fall backwards, but with a quick twist I used the momentum to
throw an upward kick reaching Emi's shoulder and gaining a moment to regain my
balance. Suddenly I saw her take something out of her sleeves and throw it at
me hard, I dodged it and managed to see out of the corner of my eye that they
were needles, which she recovered and threw at me again. I had already heard of
an attack technique used by some women using poisoned needles, I knew that I
had to avoid being pricked at all costs. My weak telekinesis would have
required time and concentration to be able to deflect them a little, I had no
choice but to continue dodging it with my movements slowed down by the density
of the water where we were standing, until suddenly a strong hand caught me by
the arm and pulled me out of the lagoon. It was Michel Angenoir, who without
saying anything to me put me behind him and spoke with a human ease that
sounded vaguely similar to the petulant and malicious way in which Emi Ishikawa
spoke, again with an exaggerated French accent, he was pretending:
—You're
so predictable that I feel sorry for you, Emi. As soon as Yanmei's parents told
me that you had invited her to your house, I knew you had bad intentions and
offered to come and pick her up.
—It's
the most natural thing for you to come and pick up your girlfriend. I know of
your adventures with easy girls! You were always the same, you were unfaithful
to me with all the maids, all the sluts, you were always the worst trash of all
men!
—You're
sick, you know I can't be unfaithful. And what I do now that we're not together
is none of your business. Don't you see that every year you become meaner?
Always getting in my way, chasing me, watching me, why?
—What
did you expect?! You came into my life as a curse, through you I achieved
immortality and found myself lost in a world of boredom where friends and
family sooner or later die leaving me alone and the only thing that remains is
you, you! With your cold, self-centered, proud, Machiavellian and cruel
attitude... I gave you the means to reach humanity! But you are not enough to
get it!
The two shouted at each
other as they spoke, but then Michel said with emotionless calmness:
—Emi,
I've watched you, I've learned from you. I have tried to understand your
emotions, your desires, your actions. I have been your mirror, reflecting who
you are. But now I understand. It is not immortality that imprisons you, but
vanity, cruelty. You have taught me a lot, but not what it is to be human, but
what it means to be like you.
Listening to him, I felt
a chill. Michel's words were not only a confrontation to Emi but a warning to
me. She, in her outbursts of anger and her attitude that oscillated between
victimhood and vileness, seemed like a version of me from the future. Vanity,
the desire to excel, the tendency to look down on others, envy... She
confronted me with a reflection of my own being, distorted by extremes, but
recognizably similar. Emi threw her needles again, but Michel without any
effort and with an inhuman precision in his movements caught the small
projectiles and with a jerk made the woman fall by tearing off the threads that
he later used to tie her hands, lift her without problems and carry her in his
arms until he left her lying inside her house saying:
—Do
you know why you're the trash and I'm not? For I can despise you in the
extreme, but I have no need to hurt you. I know I'm much stronger than you and
it would be cowardly to take advantage of that. But you're a lioness with the
brain of a cockroach, you'll use your power without measuring it against anyone
who bothers you in the slightest.
—You
speak like the son of a bitch that you are...
—I
speak like you!
Michel yelled at her
concluding their argument, then he took me by the hand and led me out of the
residence to his car. As we went back to the Hot Pot and he drove silently, my
breath was still heavy; Suddenly I said looking at him with an anxious glance:
—She
killed Eiden Ishikawa's mother! It had to be her. And she has surely killed
others!
—I
know.
Michel replied and we
continued in silence until he spoke again with his rare serenity:
—Your
parents told me that you said I was your boyfriend. I replied that it was like
that and from tomorrow I was going to visit you in the afternoons so that we
could talk.
After this I fell silent
again until we arrived in front of my house. As the car stopped, I looked at
Michel, his profile unchanged against the glass. What had started that day? I
didn't know it, but one thing was certain: my life was already intertwined with
his, for better or worse. He got out to open the car door for me and I said to
him without deigning to look him in the face:
—If
you're going to come, don't you dare do it without bringing me a doll as a
gift. And don't say we're boyfriend and girlfriend again. I'm not Emi, I know
what you are, I respect it. I won't ask you to pretend.
—I
understand.
Michel nodded, but his
gaze was lost in the distance, as if searching for an answer he had not yet
found.
—I
promise to respect your limits, Yanmei.
Then I ran away and from
that day on my parents, at Michel Angenoir's request, avoided all contact
between Emi Ishikawa and me because we would be enemies to the death. That
night it was difficult for me to fall asleep knowing that my life would now be
divided into a before and an after. The idea of Michel visiting me regularly,
acting like my boyfriend, felt like a promise of both protection and a new kind
of prison. In my mind, a voice insisted, "He is different, he won't touch
you until you're ready, until the law and morality allow." But what about
my own desires and impulses? At that moment I saw the irony: me, longing for
maturity, and he, lacking the instinct that I feared and longed for so much. It
was a dance of boundaries and expectations, and only time would tell which of
the two would suffer more from that wait.
WOUNDS TO HEAL
From that meeting with
Emi, Michel became part of my daily life. Not without a compelling reason,
several times I looked out the windows of my house and saw Emi Ishikawa pass by
the front in her car as if looking for me, her resentment was obsessive. So,
Michel began to take me to pray at the cathedral in the mountains and anywhere
I needed to go, he also came by almost every afternoon to chat with me and my
parents. There was nothing romantic or risqué about it, we just kept each other
company and I was happy to have someone to listen to me. My parents were always
busy with the affairs of Celes' army and Cyan had practically become
independent; I could only see him on the news. One afternoon, my cousin Leif
arrived to give my father a smartphone and to show us the one he himself was
learning to use; he joined my chat with Michel, which as always we had in my
room where he accompanied me to comb my dolls and even sometimes fulfilled my
whim of playing tea party, an excuse that I used to steal a little of Dad's
sweet liquor and drink it with him in my toy cups. Leif, who was laughing while
recording us with his phone, also asked me for a cup of "tea"; He
took a sip and said very seriously while continuing to record his video:
—What
kind of tea is this?
—Yanmei
says it's rose tea.
Michel replied and I
pretended to be careless, combing my dolls at the same time as I changed the
subject:
—Micky,
why is your last name so strange?
—I
don't know, it sounds better for a brand.
—But
isn't Fèng stranger?
—No,
many people have it. Mine is much more unusual. It would sound very nice with
your name, don't you think? Yanmei Angenoir.
He suggested to me,
looking at me without any emotion, although attentively, I replied simply:
—Yes,
I like it more. Can the surname be changed?
—Yes,
if you marry me, I can give you my last name.
Just at that moment a
mystery that had been in my head for some time came back to my mind, the doubt
of whether he and I, if we were to get married, could have what my mother and
soap operas call "the bridal chamber secret". I didn't know how to
ask him, so I commented blushing and with a nervous smile:
—What
a shame! We would have to kiss and see each other naked!
Leif, who was still
recording us on video, raised his eyebrows in horror and Michel, although he
did not change the expression on his face, was silent for several seconds as if
he was calculating the correct answer, which made me wonder if he really understood
or just pretended. Finally, he said:
—I'm
glad you like dolls. It is rare to see people who sincerely become attached to
objects.
Then Leif put down his
phone for a while, took another small sip of "tea," rubbed his chin,
and spoke to Michel as if choosing the words very well:
—You
know, Michel, I still don't have something clear... Because I know you can...!
Physically. But about... Satisfy... and satisfy you...
—I
know what you mean, and I can too. You just need to have a sense of touch and
aesthetic sense. I told you it's like following the structure of a song. In any
case, it is not the time to worry about that. No matter what, I want to follow
in the footsteps of your Uncle Li, Yanmei's father. He always protected your
Aunt Henna and waited until she was of age to really see her as a woman. In
this way he demonstrated his mettle and devotion to her, earning the respect of
the Petersens.
—How
beautiful... But I think that when that time comes, Yanmei will be waiting for
more than just elevator music... And you don't know... put passion into the
compositions!
Leif concluded laughing,
and then continued to question him:
—And,
by the way, what was "the music" like with that Emi? I have a soft
spot for unattainable women.
Michel took one of my
crayons and a sheet of paper from my desk, wrote him a sheet of music at machine
speed, and handed it to him. Leif read it carefully and exclaimed, folding the
paper and putting it in a pocket of his jacket as he said:
—So,
she puts you on death metal...
—She
gets like that; I just reflect what she shows me.
—But
it still has a problem: there's a climax, but it doesn’t feel like it's really
getting anywhere. There is no feeling of fulfillment and relief. Wouldn't you
want to experience it outside of a passive role? Is there... a risk?
There was a slightly
tense silence that came to attract my attention, I turned to look at Michel and
he said:
—I
could lose my freedom, like you.
Leif leaned back where he
was sitting and asked, raising an eyebrow:
—Huh,
and what imprisons me according to you?
—The
search for pleasure, the flight from pain.
He replied, looking at
him with a kind of pity. Then Leif replied by tapping his fingertips on his
forehead:
—Hypocritical
and repressed coffee machine, you are enslaved by curiosity. May it always
enslave you! So that you never run out of goals... Immortality without
challenges must be infinite torture. That's what keeps Emi Ishikawa frustrated.
—Do
you have any more advice for me? If I can call your sarcastic remarks
"advice."
—That
if you ever feel lonely, Michel Angenoir, remember that you can always try to
make friends with a toaster. At least you would share the same sense of humor.
—I
don't think roasters have a sense of humor, Leif. But I appreciate the
suggestion.
Michel replied without
changing his expression, and I wondered if he really understood the joke or if
he was just replicating programmed answers. Then Leif, clearly ready to change
the subject, stood up and said with a mischievous smile:
—On a
less serious note, would anyone like to see the new trick I learned with my phone?
Then he pulled out his
phone and uploaded the video he'd made to his first profile on a social
network, showing it to us proudly as if he was a child. Then he kept looking at
other people's posts and said:
—Wasn't
Consuelo del Mar that exuberant Latina girl who rejected you, Michel?
—That's
right. Do you also want to make fun of my attempts at tropical music?
—No,
well, yes, but not now. She has a very popular profile on this social network
and says that your daughter Estelle and my cousin Cyan are lovers.
At the moment, I didn't
pay much attention to them when they started talking about Consuelo del Mar and
Cyan's problems. At that time, I didn't care about my brother's problems, and I
was really still in love with Eiden so I didn't feel jealous of the women
linked to Michel, however, things would take very unexpected turns from that
day on.
That same night, when I
had already fallen asleep, I began to hear my parents talking to each other
very upsetI quietly got up and listened at the door to hear what they were
saying, learning that all of Gardenia was shocked because they had seen Cyan enter
Estelle Angenoir's dressing room after her last performance. They discussed
what punishment Cyan should receive for getting involved with an older woman
who was reputed to have many lovers and they also decided to withdraw their
friendship with Michel because for them it was okay for him at his age to
pursue me, but Estelle in her thirties seducing the teenager Cyan was absurd
and they expected Michel to have authority over the decisions of his adult
daughter! The next morning, mom told me that I would not go to school, we had
to prepare Cyan's wedding because he was going to marry Ilmari in an emergency
at Michel's suggestion. My aunt Norma would arrive in the afternoon to discuss
the matter with my parents, along with Ilmari and Angel, the son of Queen Zoeila
who was also a friend of my brother who apparently was becoming a very
important person in Gardenia. We stayed until noon buying things for the
wedding, then we went to pray for Cyan at the cathedral in the mountains and
returned to the Hot Pot for lunch. I, bored and a little happy to know that
Ilmari would no longer have opportunities with Eiden by marrying Cyan, asked my
mother as if nothing was happening:
—Won't
I be able to see Michel this afternoon?
—No,
we have told him that until he solves the problem that his daughter caused, we
are not going to receive him in our house. That woman is a prostitute! She has
slept with so many men that people have lost count, there wouldn't be a problem
if she at least decided to marry one, but she has said in public that she
doesn't want to get married or have children! I hope that Mr. Angenoir will
reconsider, in fact I would like us to be on good terms with him and marry you
soon; There is no man on the island who can offer more money for you.
I stared at her in
confusion and continued with my meal. Shortly after, Aunt Norma arrived, also
angry because rumors had reached her that Ilmari had been fighting in public
with Estelle for reasons she did not know. I, hearing this, had a bad feeling
and began to wait anxiously for Cyan to arrive to clear everything up. Shortly
afterwards he appeared in a new and luxurious car accompanied by Ilmari dressed
as a boy and a tall, handsome boy, with skin that shone like ebony in the sun;
the latter was the inaccessible prince of Celes. I, a little envious of all the
relevance that Cyan had obtained, asked him to talk alone and confronted him:
— What did you do, Cyan?
Mom and Aunt Norma are very angry. Worst of all, you made them mad at Micky
too. What has he got to do with it? I get bored here and the only fun is when
he comes to talk to me and gives me a doll. Even though I'm too old to play with
them, I like to collect them and see him.
—What
are you doing talking to that strange, stupid man? Stop telling him about the
Hot Pot! You should practice, your military school exams are coming soon.
It seemed strange to me
that he spoke of Michel in this way, since he had trusted him so much before. I
assumed he was just jealous and selfish; then I replied disdainfully:
—Mom
says it's more important to help her with the wedding preparations now. You're
getting married to Ilmari this weekend. They say they can't wait any longer,
it's a matter of honor, to show that you're a serious leader.
Cyan stopped listening,
he ran out in a very rude way and entered our house. I went after him and
entered the house just as Ilmari was crying and receiving all of Aunt Norma's
wrath, confessing that she did not want to marry Cyan because she was already Eiden
Ishikawa's girlfriend. I felt a lump in my throat, my face hot and tears
beginning to fill my eyes; I ran to my room and locked myself, with rage I took
out all my photos and clippings of Eiden to throw them on the floor and kick
them angrily. Then I curled up to weep over them until I heard all the visitors
leave with the resolution that Cyan and Ilmari were to be married as soon as
possible and could not object. I, with a certain wicked selfishness, looked up
and, hiccupping with tears, felt satisfied.
At midnight, my parents
told me to put on one of my expensive dresses and we all went to Adalsteinn,
where Cyan and Ilmari would get married in the early hours of the morning. My
cousin was already dressed in her white wedding dress with her hair adorned
with flowers and crystals, while Mom and I ironed the long cape of Cyan's black
dress uniform. I was tired and very sleepy, so when the ceremony was about to
go, I went to Aunt Norma's sofa and lay down to close my eyes for a while,
shortly after I felt that someone was wrapping me up. I opened my eyes and saw
that it was Michel Angenoir covering me with his coat, but he did so in such a
formal and rigid way that he looked more like a service robot than a friend,
which made me wonder if he would ever feel anything other than the programming
behind his actions. Anyway, I thanked and asked him:
— What is your relationship
to Eiden?
—Basically,
he is a descendant of mine and Emi's.
He answered me without
emotion and looking at me, I exclaimed:
—Well,
your descendant became Ilmari's boyfriend! Aren't you going to tell him
anything? That's wrong!
—Eiden's
legal guardian is Emi, she will lose her control over him if he marries and
perhaps that is Eiden's motivation. But I think she, in her eagerness to annoy
me, is allowing it because she knows that I didn't want her family to get
involved with the Petersens.
—And
what does she gain from this? Just to annoy you?
—No.
It must be her revenge; I have helped the new government with money and work at
Cyan's request to continue to have the support of your father and the
Petersens. I must look after my personal interests, which are to fit better
into this society, but also for the interests of those who have put me to work
on this island; I can't achieve this if I don't work together with the leaders
of Celes. Emi, as always, doesn't think about it and just gets in the way. But
the problem will be solved with this wedding.
Listening to him, I felt
calmer and stayed with him until the time came when we all had to go to the
mines at Adalsteinn where the wedding was to be held. While we waited, Michel
sat down next to me, and I leaned on his lap asking him:
—Why
hasn't Leif come yet?
—He
won't come.
He replied simply, I
looked at him surprised:
—But
Ilmari and Cyan are getting married, he would like to be present.
—He'll
probably object and delay the wedding, although it would bother him more to see
Ilmari with Eiden, he doesn't agree that your aunt Norma forces her children to
mold their lives to her will.
—What
do you mean?
Then Michel told me,
looking at me with his cold eyes as he stroked my hair:
—Leif
always had a complicated relationship with his mother. He inherited from her
his strong, irreverent and outgoing character, but Norma is not used to any man
stepping over her and she was not going to tolerate it from one of her own
children. She fought for many years with Leif trying to make him a docile and
shy man like your uncle Teppo and the rest of your cousins, she yelled at him
and beat him hoping that the boy would give in out of fear, but Leif was a
brave and tenacious young man who with each aggression only felt more
encouraged to rebel. Over time, Norma's constant mistreatment made a mess of
Leif, and he began to feel uncomfortable with her, then with the rest of the
women, they all seemed hostile to him, although he admired them. Finally, when
he turned fifteen, he confessed to Norma that he preferred the company and
affection of men, and she flew into a rage and tried to kill him. So, I
intervened and took him to Gardenia, proposing to Norma that she spare the
boy's life until he was twenty, and if at the end of that time he did not
become a strong man, she could kill him. Years passed and Leif, despite
prejudices, became a daring, rough and very successful man in Gardenia. Then
your aunt Norma felt proud and asked him to return to Adalsteinn, but he
wouldn't. Although mother and son made peace and forgave each other, there were
scars they couldn't erase, and their relationship was never the same again. In
addition, he never accepted that your aunt forced others to live according to
the interests of the family group rather than their personal ones. She thought
that love and the weight of blood would be so strong that nothing would drive
them away, but it doesn't. Everything has a limit and if you exceed it then
there is no turning back. All that remains is to repent and endure it.
I listened to him moved
and worried when I remembered that Cyan and I were often close to that limit
and, although I loved my brother and did not want to lose him, my pride was
greater and many times before seeking to solve things with Cyan I preferred to
satiate my desire to take revenge or overshadow him to receive more attention
than him. Shortly after we were told that the time had come for the ceremony,
we all went out after the bride and groom in a kind of sad procession towards a
special spring dedicated to Ilmari where, according to Mystical traditions, the
future spouses each had to shed a drop of blood to get married. I was asking
Michel about this ritual when I arrived at the spring and saw a horrific scene,
there was Eiden sitting in the water and surrounded by blood. Terrified and
heartbroken, I ran out and hid far away behind some rocks. I was shaking, I
wanted to cry, but I couldn't because I was breathing so heavily that the sobs
didn't come out of my throat. The seconds seemed eternal, I couldn't imagine
how I could continue living after that, it was as if suddenly the world
exploded around me, and everything became hell. I don't know if after minutes
or hours Michel appeared, I must thank him that he was the only one who
remembered me and went to look for me. He picked me up from the floor and
carried me back to my aunt and uncle's house while I clung to him as if he were
the last piece of my world that had collapsed. As we approached, I saw from
afar that Ilmari was hanging out her house a white bed sheet stained with
something I could not understand, and Michel said:
—Don't
worry, everyone is fine. Eiden's wounds were superficial. Emi brought him in at
dawn, he contaminated Ilmari's well and with that forced a link between the two
of them. According to the traditions of the Mystics, that sheet announces that
the bride was a virgin, and they have already consummated the marriage. Now
Eiden and Ilmari are husband and wife, she must move to Ishikawa Village with
him.
—Put
me down...
I asked him in a hurry
feeling nauseous and I vomited while my legs trembled, he lifted me up from the
floor again and we continued approaching the house, to arrive when Cyan
announced to everyone in a firm voice:
—I
didn't want to get married so soon. Let no one ever get into my privacy again.
If I have one mistress or a hundred, that shouldn't be anyone's problem as long
as I continue to perform my job well.
I felt dizzy, I thought I
would faint again, but then something restored my strength, Cyan and Ilmari had
imposed their whims in a grotesque, vulgar way; so, I jumped out of Michel's
arms to go stand next to Cyan wanting to say many things to him, but I could
only murmur through tears:
—You
and Ilmari knew that I loved Eiden, I will never forgive you. It's horrible!
The worst day of my life!
Then I ran again to
Michel seeking refuge in him, who strangely had a look of something similar to
indignation; Then he spoke simulating that personality he adopted when he was
not in confidence:
—It's
really unforgivable, Cyan. If your parents and uncles don't have the heart to
tell you, I'll tell you: this has been horrific! They married by force and
disrespecting everyone's modesty by not having at least the modesty to wait for
us to leave to make their half savage habits and now Ilmari will suffer the
rest of her life in Ishikawa territory and in the clutches of Emi. With this
you have shown me that you are on her side.
From that day on my
relationship with Cyan broke down, something similar happened with Ilmari, the
impression had been so strong that I fell into a fever and dad accompanied by
Michel went to take me back home while mom stayed comforting her cousin after
the eventful marriage of her daughter Ilmari. As I was alone in my room after
the revelation at the spring cave, the world became a distant murmur. The wind
whispered through the trees, as if nature itself wanted to comfort me. I sat on
my bed, looking without seeing, my mind full of images of Eiden, of Ilmari, and
of the blood in the water. Then I went to the bathroom while my dad made me tea
and noticed to my horror that I had urinated blood. Scared, I screamed calling
my father and he came running, when he saw the toilet, he panicked and wanted
to cry, but gathering all his strength he ran to the phone and called Aunt
Norma to come and cure me. Then he put me to bed and cried silently next to me,
I think partly because of the anguish of not knowing what was wrong with me and
partly because of Cyan's rebelliousness. I took her hand and kissed it,
squeezing it as if to give him strength. Almost half an hour later mom and aunt
Norma arrived. I was left alone with my aunt, and she asked me some questions,
she opened my blouse and then closed it again saying:
—Your
breasts have already developed, they just need to grow, and you also have hips.
I think you're just having your menarche, Yanmei. That blood is not dangerous
at all, it is simply your period.
Then she smiled proudly
and, finding comfort in still having me, she hugged me tightly and soon after I
fell asleep. I was physically and emotionally exhausted.
The next morning, my
parents tried to act like nothing had happened, Mom made me a special
breakfast, and Dad promised to take me with him on patrol in the afternoon. I
went out for a ride on my bike to think, pedaling at full speed as if I could
escape my strange reality; I finally stopped to the west of the island, in the
area of the orchards, and spent a while walking among the fruit trees, the tall
golden grass and the thick mist that filtered some rays of sunlight drawing
arabesques. I inhaled the cold air, wishing that with the cool breeze I could
wipe away the painful burning I felt inside my chest. I wondered how I could be
so blind to fall in love with someone who didn't know me, who didn't
reciprocate with me, and who I couldn't force to be with me. Love, if that was
love, hurt more than I imagined. I felt lost, I no longer knew what my place in
the world was. I walked up a rock in the hope of being able to see the whole
island, I sat down on the grass under an old and twisted apple tree and to my disappointment
the view was blocked by a thick blanket of clouds resting under a listless sun,
giving me the feeling of being on an islet in the middle of a sea of
nothingness. I was there for a while, regretful and scared, until I heard
footsteps. Suddenly Michel Angenoir sat down next to me, saying to me with his
inhuman calmness:
—Your
parents told me you'd be here. I've been looking for you for a long time.
—How long?
There was a silence in
which he stared at a point on the horizon, I think somewhere he got lost in
what we were talking about and gave me an answer that I didn't ask for, but it
was a bit revealing:
—Since I first asked myself what it means to
be human.
Then I leaned my temple
on his arm and answered him dismissively, without the pressure of talking to
anyone who might judge or offend me:
—I
don't know either. I feel that I only exist to please others and, in the
eagerness to achieve it I have lost my illusions. I am deeply ashamed, I envied
my brother, I was jealous of my cousin, I always wanted to crush them and be
the most popular, the most loved by the family; Now I have achieved it and on
this summit that I reached after a tortuous journey I only feel alone. Alone
and regretful, you were right, once you cross the limit there is no turning
back. All that remains is to endure the pain. I have lost my humanity.
Then Michel said to me,
and I could tell that he made a good effort to try to sound comforting:
—Yanmei,
pain is a sign that you are alive, that you feel deeply. Even if I don't fully
understand it, I know it's important.
At that point I looked at
him with tears in my eyes and asked him a little angrily because of what seemed
to me to be a flippantness:
—How
can you say that? You don't feel anything.
To my surprise, my eyes
that sought to accuse him with a claim that now when I remember those years
seems arrogant to me, met him looking at me in a way that stopped my bad mood
and talking to me in a tone that tried to be soft:
—But
I can learn. And I can be here, with you.
Suddenly it was as if I
couldn't take it anymore, I hugged him breaking down in tears and saying:
—Forgive
me! I regret everything! My world is over, I didn't really want my brother to
be a bad man, I'll never play with Ilmari again, and now there's no turning
back... Last night I felt so bad that I had my first period, and I feel like
I've suddenly become an adult. I can never go back to being a carefree girl and
go to sleep hoping that tomorrow will be a better day....
—Why?
The sun has risen again, under those thick clouds there is still Gardenia, the
Hot Pot, the mountains to the north hiding Adalsteinn and the meadows to the
south. Nothing strange has happened, Yanmei. What you've experienced is only a
step to maturity. The blood that surprised you last night in your intimacy is
no different from the blood that Eiden lost when dyeing the well of Ilmari. We
all "bleed", we all must go through a difficult process to evolve,
like a butterfly that before flying must undergo a metamorphosis. Even I must
experience that sacrifice, because in order to better understand humanity and
improve myself in the art of architecture and landscaping, I need to learn
something that we already see is wonderful, but many times it hurts... Feeling.
It is a tool, a new brush, for my work. I can only tell you that, in time,
Eiden's wounds will heal, and your period will one day be a precursor to a new
life; What hurts now will bring you joy tomorrow.
I stood for a moment
looking at the sea of clouds in front of us and after thinking a little I said
to him, frowning and still looking at the strange landscape:
—You
know what's the craziest thing? That now that I have lost all opportunity and
desire to marry Eiden I will most likely marry you to make my parents happy and
ensure a good future, and you would be the father of the new life you are
talking about, which could be a new Estelle or a mini laptop with some bad
luck... And I don't know if that will bring me joy... Well, they say that in
the end all changes are good.
—I
must go back to Gardenia; Estelle has relapsed into her illness. I need to make
sure that she has already taken her medicines and is resting.
He announced to me and
then he stood up and held out his hand for me to accompany him, saying:
—I'll
take you back to your house first, your father said that there was I don't know
what problem with Emi Ishikawa after the wedding and that it would be better
for you to stay away from everything until things settle down.
I shrugged my shoulders
and went with him. Michel was not the most fun company, but he had the gift of
making me sort out my own thoughts and with him I did not feel the burden of
needing to make an effort to like him. I don't know what attracted him to me,
but it was something he knew he would have to accept along with all my flaws,
and he did it without problems. I was beginning to love him, not as you love a
person, but as you love your favorite blanket, that softest one that offers you
security. I was also attracted to him in a strange way, not as I might be
attracted to Eiden or any other handsome boy, but with the admiration you feel
when you are in front of a work of art; he, after all, was a work of
engineering art. If you can love your homeland, a beautiful poem, or your
favorite tool, you can have some loving respect for a robot that actually helps
you. We arrived at my house, and I said goodbye to him with a hug sending
greetings to Estelle. I already felt much better, it is fascinating how sometimes
simply by talking, confessing your faults and taking out of your heart what
oppresses you, you feel more relieved of your sorrows. I found in my solitude
not the absence of love, but the presence of a peace that is only found in
introspection.
After lunch, I went with
my father in the old family SUV to patrol the south of the island, where
everything is mostly flat. Wheat and corn are grown there, and cattle are
raised. The most fascinating thing about this area of the island is that the
famous Sky Village floated over it, it was the slum area of Celes where illegal
immigrants and islanders in extreme poverty lived overcrowded. I looked at the
huge system of wooden platforms suspended from several huge hot air balloons
fed by ovens that incinerated the waste of the village, which passed several
kilometers away, and saw how a precarious elevator descended from its
platforms. Then I commented to my father:
—What
will it be like to live up there?
—Terrible,
they say it's extremely dangerous. Not even my men from the Hot Pot dared to go
up, but your brother Cyan went and saved a girl from a brothel. I am saddened
by his bad head with women, but I feel great pride in his courage and kindness.
He is a friend of the son that the queen kept hidden due to his condition.
—The
black man who came home with Cyan and Ilmari? What condition does it have? Poor
guy…
—Well,
he is Black.
I stared at him
reproachfully, thinking that the Sky Village floated not because of the
magnificence of its architecture, but because of the irony of a society that
prefers to lift its poor in the air rather than in life. Then dad received a
call, answered and when he heard the news, he was shocked. After ending the
call, he told me:
—It
seems that after Leif threatened Eiden Ishikawa this morning, Emi Ishikawa
disappeared from her residence and now they confirm to me that Leif kidnapped
her asking for her sister to be divorced or he will not return Miss Emi. That
boy is more and more like his mother every day!
—Leif
doesn't know who he's messed with...
I muttered remembering
that Emi was anything but a weak woman, Dad pointed to me in the distance, a
group of our soldiers was also patrolling the area, and he said getting out of
the SUV:
—Come
on! Let's join our colleagues. I must make some calls, Mr. Angenoir is already
trying to mediate, I would also like to communicate with Leif so that this does
not bring him too much negative consequences.
I followed him a little
between worried and fed up with so many problems, at least we were away from
the action, and I could distract myself picking flowers in the meadows while
Dad and his men talked. Shortly after an expensive car approached, by the brand
I knew it was from the fleet of the Gardenia palace, there are so few cars in
Celes that it is easy to know more or less where each one comes from. I saw
that Cyan was driving that one and I felt like I wasn't ready to talk to him. I
figured it would look pretty strange, and there's no way he'd believe me if I
suddenly went to hug him and ask for forgiveness, especially now that he's
become this ruthless guy who dominates everyone. So, I walked away through the
meadow and continued cutting flowers without saying anything until the group
spotted something in the distance and I got a little closer to see what was
happening, they noticed that an expensive car had been parked nearby and that
some guy was attempting to open it. I recognized the vehicle at once and
exclaimed:
—It's Michel Angenoir's car. How dare he touch it?
I ran to the place
outraged, maybe I wouldn't have been so angry in another situation, but I had
my period and although it's partly a myth that on those days you get in a worse
mood, the truth is that on that occasion I attacked with ferocity. I kicked him
directly in the head, then several blows to the chest and abdomen, finally I
swept him and when he fell to the ground, spontaneously, I screamed and made
him rise a couple of meters from the ground and then smashed him back into the
floor, knocking him out. That's how I learned to give my telekinesis a use
other than to serve me to pray for the village of Heaven, which we now had very
close to us and when I looked up, I noticed that it was turning a little, which
was strange. It was even stranger that Michel's car was there, but we soon
found out what was going on... As my brother Cyan was about to go up to the Sky
Village to see if our rare friend was there, explosions were heard above.
Shortly after, Cyan confirmed that not only Michel was there, but also Leif and
Emi. I immediately assumed that this woman had done something... We moved a
little away from the area and dad asked that they send the only helicopter on
the island. More noises were heard, gunshots, we couldn't know what was
happening, but it was a relief to see that shortly after Cyan came down from
the Sky Village after rescuing Emi, who by the way was pretending to be a
damsel in distress... We were still on tenterhooks because Leif and Michel were
still upstairs since the delicate Miss Emi had tried to take the Sky Village
out of course, so that it crashed in Gardenia... She whined and said it was
because she panicked and wanted to escape anyway. To my chagrin, my father and
Cyan believed her... Meanwhile Leif warned that Michel was working upstairs on
some solution to stabilize the flying village again, and according to his
calculations that would only be possible by demolishing a section. With Leif as
a contact upstairs in the village, Michel ordered us to move away from the area
and so we did. The men, foolishly, left Emi and me together, according to them
so that we would be more comfortable as women. We stood side by side in tense
silence, until she said to me:
—What
do you know about art? Michel is not a man, he is not your friend, he is a
kinetic sculpture. And it's mine. You don't have to meddle in my things, I do
what I want with what's mine.
—Art
and technology do not belong to a single person, but to all humanity. You
misuse it, you abuse it, you break it down, you have tried to destroy it. You
don't deserve to have it, you waste it.
I replied by looking at
her accusingly, she replied:
—So
what?! It's mine, I do what I want with what's mine! You shouldn't care!
Envious!
With those words I bit my
lips and didn't want to answer her anymore, because I was afraid of being nosy
and greedy again as I was with Ilmari when I wanted to have Eiden. The word
"envy" now disgusted me, I never wanted to be like that, nor did I
want to be around anyone who was like that. Just then an explosion sounded so
big that it rumbled throughout the island, one side of the Sky Village ignited
in a fireball that went out almost immediately as a pile of debris fell to the
ground. Emi Ishikawa fell to her knees on the grass, touching her chest as if
she had been attacked by a sharp pain, and I had a bad feeling. I saw that the
men were talking to each other in alarm, and I went over to see what was going
on, then I heard Cyan asking our father:
—Shouldn't
we go and recover the bodies?
Dad answered, as if with
fear:
—There's
Michel...
Alarmed, I ran to the
scene of the impact while Leif reported by phone that there were no more
injured, only Michel had fallen; I didn't care if he was very broken, I wanted
to pick up the pieces and repair him no matter what. To my relief, he was
complete, walking among the charred remains with his hands in his pockets and
in fairly good condition, except for his face; It had literally fallen apart,
and we could see its metal frame holding a totally exposed eye and muscles made
of jumbles of wires and circuits that emulated anatomical structures. I was
happy because it was only external damage, but Emi approached her with a tragic
expression and Michel spoke to her with what little was left of his lips and
imitating her smugness:
—Do
you expect the pain to soften me? Well, you're wrong. It just makes me a little
angrier. I shouldn't have to be experiencing this, it's grotesque, for what? If
you really feel some pity, or whatever, tell me, you have the manual, how to
turn it off?
—You
must turn it off from the heart…
Emi replied, revealing
that for him to stop functioning she would have to lose her immortality by also
turning off the device that kept her young, the two of them had to die
together. Knowing this made me sad, but it hurt me more to hear that Michel
wanted to be turned off. He was sick of all of us. He looked at Emi for a while
as if he couldn't finish processing the news, then he got back into character,
not realizing that it was pointless because we could see he wasn't human, and
said feigning calm and good humor:
— Well, isn't anyone going
to ask me who my tailor is? This suit holds up longer than my face. And if that
wasn't enough, I don't remember where I parked my car.
None of those presents
dared to say anything, I began to cry because it was like seeing a wounded dog
that even with pain and scared wags its tail when it sees its friends
approaching. Then I ran to hug him and only managed to ask him while he still
did not admit the seriousness of what had happened to him:
—Are
you going to die?
—No,
ma chérie. Luck is never on my side.
He replied even trying to
joke, but stopped when he saw me; Then he became expressionless again, took out
a handkerchief, and bent down to wipe my tears, saying:
—I
thought you'd hate me seeing me like this.
I caressed with my
fingers what was left of the charred skin of his face trying to console him
because I knew that, although it did not show it, the touch sensors on its
cover were detecting the damage and that information could perhaps be
translated as pain; and I said to him somewhat angrily at the little importance
he gave to himself:
— I've never cared what you
look like! In fact, ... I think you look a little effeminate, skinny, and
weird.... But I love spending time with you. To me you could be bodiless, and
I'd still love you!
I gave him a quick kiss
on his battered mouth, and it burned me a little, the same as if I had stuck my
lips in a cup of hot chocolate. He froze for a few seconds, not knowing how to
react, then he looked at Emi as if reproaching her and she just walked away
with her head down. Suddenly I felt a pull on my arm, it was my brother Cyan
who very confused and frightened shouted to Michel:
—Don't
go near my younger sister! What the hell are you? What the fuck are you?!
Michel replied calmly,
before leaving to get his vehicle:
—Do
you know AutoCAD? Well, I'm better.
Then he left and I was
sad, worried because I didn't know how many repairs he was going to need before
I could see him again and talk together. I think that that afternoon Michel, in
his attempt to understand love, encountered the paradox that in order to feel
he must first accept imperfection.
DRESSED IN WHITE
The next morning, after
school, I went to pray at the cathedral in Adalsteinn and then went down on my
bicycle to Gardenia. I wanted to see how Michel was doing. Not many people knew
where he lived, he was an obscure figure in Celes' society, with a lot of
influence, but almost anonymous. His house was on a corner on the outskirts of
Gardenia, at the foot of a hill from which he could see the whole city, it was
a peculiar and somewhat eclectic building that had a certain aura of mystery. I
knocked on the door and a maid opened it; at first glance I noticed that it was
not a real human being either. With a chilling dead smile and a voice that was
out of sync with his lips, it asked me what I wanted and then informed me that
Mr. Angenoir could not attend to me at that moment. I stared at her without
answering and finally said:
—I
bet you control your maid, Micky... It’s yourself, cleaning your house and
answering the door, but in your weird transvestite mode...
The maid froze and then
blinked without synchronizing the movement well, one eye first and the other
later, it was evident that this model was not as advanced as the owner of the
house, finally Leif appeared from inside the residence and pushed her away with
annoyance signaling me to enter. He spoke to me, as he guided me through the
somewhat labyrinthine house, perfectly decorated and organized in a clear mix
between futuristic elements and Art Nouveau designs:
—Come,
Michel must be connected to his company's machines for deep diagnostics and
repairs. When you're the lady of this house, throw that junk in the trash!
Mystical wives must personally take charge of the care of their home. Servants
are the devil's door.
I looked around and
replied discouraged:
—But
this house is huge, Leif! I would have to spend all day cleaning it! I wouldn't
have time for anything else, no going out, no hobbies.
—Bah,
there are wives who even with maids do nothing. We better make sure you'll be
entertained with something while your husband works.
—Anyway,
the maid is an extension of Michel, in case you haven't noticed... Technology
is here to help us, Leif. We could change it to another type of cleaning robot,
a less scary one.
—You're
as tricky to negotiate as he is, I see why you get along... Come, support me in
the deal I proposed in exchange for releasing Emi and now he doesn't want to
comply.
Finally, we arrived at
Michel's bedroom which could have been a typical Art Nouveau bedroom if it
weren't for the fact that by the glare of LED lights emitted from some
furniture you could guess that these were actually maintenance appliances. In
an armchair and connected to various cables was Michel in a silk bathrobe and
devoid of all his outer covers, showing his true nature: a full-fledged robot,
with motors, circuits and cables arranged to imitate anatomical structures. He
looked down with his white plastic eyelids half-closed and murmured:
—I
don't think it's right to let her see me like this, Leif.
My cousin approached him
to remove his forearm and began to examine it while saying:
—The
girl will surely want to know how your repair is going, no one buys broken
devices. This piece is going to have to be redone, impossible to repair. There
are others that also need to be changed for new ones, the rest just needs a
little maintenance, lubricant in the joints and put it to bed to
"sleep"
Then he threw himself on
the bed, making the fiber-optic lamps in the shape of plant motifs that
decorated it change their brightness to a faint and reddish one, and he
continued to explain:
—The
bed is a wireless charging station; he has to lie here for about eight hours
every night to recharge his battery and synchronize his components while in
power-saving mode. Let's just say he sleeps! That Emi should pay the repair
costs, she doesn't make the slightest effort to preserve Michel, but she makes
him work to the limit without caring about the risks.
—I
insist that I don't think it's right to let her see me like this, Leif...
Michel repeated, already
uncomfortable, and my cousin exclaimed:
—What's
wrong with you, silly? Didn't you say that my cousin didn't care about your
appearance? You've developed a certain vanity, huh? You like to look like the
wimpy little angels of Gardenia. We'll remove your brain, make five other
bodies like yours and have our own Kpop band.
The architect of
Gardenia, perhaps already fed up with Leif's comments, entered the room in the
form of the maid, walking like an old woman despite pretending to be a young
one, and covered his main body with a blanket speaking in his usual voice, but
with a sound of much lower quality:
—These
are company guidelines; my classic look is already the personal hallmark of my
brand. Now, let's keep talking about your proposal, Leif. You fulfilled your
part of the bargain by freeing Emi, now I want to do my part, but I need you to
understand that there are a few limitations and drawbacks....
I asked, sitting up in
bed:
—What
deal did you make?
Then my cousin sat down
next to me and began to show me on his phone photos of a part of the island
that I had never seen; a slum area built on cliffs as if hanging over the sea,
almost vertically, and he explained to me:
—This
has always existed, but Michel and Emi prefer to ignore it, they call it the
pirates' canyon and it's a settlement of people like me who didn't accept the
segregation that is imposed on Celes, so they settled there. Most of them are
fishermen and not a few criminals, but they are strong people whom I could win
in our favor with my gift of suggestion; and with Michel's help a new and very
original village could be built there that would also be a new tourist
attraction.
Michel commented at the
time:
—It
always seemed like a dirty stain on the island, much worse than the Sky
Village, so I just ignored it. In any case, the environment and the harshness
of the life led by these rebels means that they proliferate very little. On the
one hand, I think it's morally right to help them, plus the latest news from my
company gives me a strong incentive to consider Leif's proposal: a lot of money
has been lost on my repair, investors complained that I haven't done anything
really spectacular in Celes since a long time ago. My developers are worried
that they will lose the contract and have me replaced with another system. If I
could develop the Pirate Canyon it would please investors, my company agrees,
but I reckon that while I could create the promised vertical city, it would not
be beautiful enough to truly impress tourists and investors alike. I think I
lack something to impact the senses of human beings, I can't match the feeling
of a human artist yet. I communicated my concern to my company, and they ordered
me to wait for the next updates and move forward with the project. However, I
continue to delay it. I haven’t finished processing the guidelines, there is no
design that I can say meets your expectations...
Leif stared at him with a
frown and a half-open mouth, as if incredulous and indignant, then said to me:
—If
we kick him, maybe he'll work fine. Just do it and go, Michel Angenoir! Start
the project, make a couple of houses, put two influencers dancing in front of
them and there will be no shortage of fools who buy the idea. Show that you are
a man even though you are in the form of a stiff lady dressed as a French
maid... Seriously, you now look dumber than as a robot under repair.
In this way, Michel
finally gave in, sent a message confirming the project to his company advising
that he had everything ready to start and with this began a series of events
that in fact hastened my own maturity process and had serious consequences for
Michel.
In the following days the
Angenoir invited me more to eat with them. Estelle never found out what
happened to her father because he did not want to worry her, he kept her
distracted while he finished repairing himself, so he sent me to spend time
with her. Estelle spent a few days sick, she had a "telomeropathy"
from parental Michel's side whose genetic contribution was not of quality as it
had been created from stem cells in a laboratory with the sole purpose of
fathering children similar to him, without worrying about other aspects. I
didn't think it was something so serious because, although she was extremely
pale and thin, she kept being in a good mood, joking and dancing even when she
was in her bed. She had also fallen in love with my brother Cyan and, to my
surprise, he apparently reciprocated with her. I saw them once by chance
together at Estelle's house when I was going in to give her some flowers that I
cut on the way and I was a little shocked to surprise my brother in action...
Manly and serious as he was, he did not allow himself to be entangled by
Estelle's games and when he kissed her he did it like roosters when they cross
paths with hens, as if capturing them while they accept to submit gratefully;
That kind of interaction terrified me and I remember running out of the house
to see no more. I, despite my youth, knew that when a young man gets involved
with an older woman, he is usually only looking for a passing fling, but
Estelle did not seem to be concerned about this. She asked me to find out
Cyan's measurements to remake all his uniforms, he always wanted to see him in
a gala suit, kepi and black cape; I did not oppose it because I knew that Cyan
had run out of uniforms, he burned them all in the exercise of his duty and he
had to go to work with whatever he had at hand; usually jeans, sweatshirts, and
a baseball cap. What I did try to make her reconsider was the way she gave
herself to my brother, without any precautions to protect her feelings. I told
her once when she was practicing her dances in a room of her house equipped for
that, where she replied enthusiastically:
—I
don't care, Yanmei! I couldn't be like you, who simply agree to marry without
being in love just because your parents ask you to, and my father seems to you
a bearable man. I have to find a passion that takes my breath away, a flash, a
hurricane... I never knew what it is to yearn for a man's love because since I
was a child I had a father who, perhaps because he did not know exactly what to
do, exaggerated his pampering and care. For every little whim I had, Michel ran
to satisfy me, every tear was instantly consoled. And I grew up expecting all
men to be like that, and most of them didn't please me to that extent and the
ones who did remind me so much of my father that they stopped attracting me as
lovers. I couldn't find a man to suit me! One who could overpower the beast in
me... Until I met Cyan.
—I
couldn't allow a man to dominate me, I think I'm too cocky...
I commented with a laugh
and Estelle replied by stopping and putting her hands on her hip:
—Because
you're very young!" You'll soon get bored of the sycophants and the shy.
When you're pretty and you're aware of that, that's how it happens.
—Am I
pretty? That's what the same number of people who tell me I'm ugly have told
me. I think that puts me in the "fair" range.
I replied looking at
myself on a mirrored wall, Estelle answered posing next to me:
—Being
pretty is a decision and an attitude, believe me. And I suggest you choose to
be pretty, but don't think that's worth anything. When you start to think that
you are special because you are pretty, it will be a sign that you are ugly. A
rose doesn't say "I'm a rose," it simply opens its petals and
perfumes.
I looked at my
reflection, adjusting my hair, and said:
—I
must buy new clothes; I've grown very fast in the last few months, and I don't
have anything to go see your performances next week. Should I change my style
or continue to use my qipaos?
—Keep
wearing your traditional clothes, don't copy the style of the ladies of
Gardenia City. It will be so much fun to see those hypocritical harpies doing
their best to flatter you and thus please my father when they are all the time
complaining and mocking the people of the villages of Celes! Besides, Michel
hasn't asked you to change anything, apparently, you've become his centerpiece.
What will he be preparing to create? He hasn't told me anything, except that it
will be in the ravine of the pirates.
—Because
nothing has started, as far as I know. He goes on to say that he has a long way
to go to match human art, that he lacks something.
Estelle turned and danced
away a little, then said:
—Poor
thing, it's like a bird that's ready to leave the nest, but it's afraid to fly.
It's an artificial general intelligence made with technology that's been
developed over a thousand years, not a chatbot designed to serve pizza orders.
He is already capable of that and more, but he needs something to push him to
fall into the void and dare. That's very human about Michel, he's insecure,
like all men.
Then he stopped at a bar
to do some stretching and went on to say:
—I
think all robots are men, you know! It is very easy to replicate the male mind.
But they will not be able to equal us in a thousand years, or in ten thousand.
Women are the chalice of life. Only we can create a real man or destroy him. I
have destroyed many, but everything is paid for in this world, and I am being
charged for that fault with Cyan.
What Estelle told me that
afternoon left me thinking. In the following days I continued to go to school,
I had stopped bullying my classmates and with my new attitude I began to have
new friends; Some even began to take an interest in me in a romantic way. When
the teachers found out about this, they called me to the principal's office,
and he told me that on the orders of my parents I was no longer going to
continue studying. They feared that my new friendships would jeopardize my
nuptial engagement. That day I returned home very sad, I was going to miss
school, I was close to graduating and we were studying subjects that I liked.
When I said goodbye to my classmates from the military school, I hugged those I
had previously bullied and asked them for forgiveness; they accepted my
apologies solemnly because everyone already considered me a married lady and
was aware that my husband was going to be the architect of Celes and director
of the Society of Azrael. We didn't say it because we were so young, but I think
in the eyes of all of us there was confusion and sadness as we peered into the
adult world. My parents' solution to my truncated education was to give me a
laptop to "study alone" from home and they ordered me to spend more
time with the Angenoir. That was the first time I felt like my marriage was
limiting my life. When Michel finished repairing himself, he resumed his visits
to my house and helped me a little to continue studying, but it was not the
same as attending a school and living the experience of coexisting with other
teenagers. Although he appeared to be about fifteen years old, he acted like an
adult and although he was aware of current fashions and trends, he stuck to his
goal of keeping Celes in the Belle Époque. I asked him what could be funny in
his world that seemed to have been fixed in a historical representation between
1890 and 1910, and he invited me to accompany him to dynamite angels behind the
law's back. Well, that was fun. But I really feel that in our courtship I
missed some experiences of my adolescence.
When the ballet season
started, I went with Michel to the opening performance, he used to go only to
this one so that his daughter would feel honored without being watched. I
followed Estelle's advice and attended dressed in a long silk sheongsam embroidered
in gold thread, a matching shawl and for the first time I put on red lipstick;
That night I also wore Mom's ruby earrings, which I only wore on very special
occasions. That was the first time I felt men turn to look at me and treat me
like a "real" woman. That was a special night for Estelle, she would
play her favorite role, Princess Odette in Swan Lake. The famous
"tourists", who came beyond time and space to vacation sometimes for
decades in the eternal Victorian era that we lived in Celes for their
amusement, were there disguised as normal people, but perhaps because of the
mysterious and somewhat surreal atmosphere that prevailed in the Art Nouveau
architecture theater to match the rest of the city by the work of my already
officially boyfriend, It felt more strongly that we were among strange beings.
Gentlemen in frock coats and top hats and ladies in long silk dresses filled
the halls and corridors among vases of flowers and crystal chandeliers that
broke the light into flashes of colors that were lost in the smoke of
cigarettes and the half-light of the corners. We sat in one of the highest
boxes, where we would not attract much attention because Michel was perhaps the
most mysterious entity in the whole theater; From there we could see all the attendees
bathed in the faint golden light that reigned inside the great hall, ornamented
with romantic murals and motifs always inspired by celestial bodies, plaster
moldings covered with gold leaf in the shape of cornucopias, nymphs, cherubs
and bouquets of flowers between long red velvet curtains. The staging was a bit
dull, so at a certain point I got bored and started looking at the people in
the audience. There were Ilmari and Eiden, she already felt pregnant and older,
half hidden in the shadows of a corner was Cyan surely waiting at the end of
the performance to meet Estelle, and far away in another box was Leif
"conducting" the orchestra with more frenzy than the conductor
himself. I stared at him and asked Michel:
—Why
haven't we sat down with Leif?
—We'd
all end up with a black eye from the slaps he throws in the air.
— He's a big music fan.
Have you been struggling to get inspired to get started on your plans?
He replied without moving
his eyes from the stage:
—I
can replicate and learn human patterns of behavior, remember events, capture
the essence of what is a subconscious impulse, but the spontaneity that arises
from what has been lived and not from what is analyzed, is still a challenge
for me. Humanity has inexplicable cravings and impulsive decisions based on a
vast and complex tapestry of experiences; I lack that.
—You've
been in this world for about two hundred years, Michel... It's not like you're
an NPC in a video game, you've had too much time to do homework. How is it
possible that art, something so human, cannot be surpassed by a good artificial
intelligence? For example, music, in essence, is a pattern of notes. A machine
can do it! And architecture, it's the same! shapes, measurements, I don’t
know... You can do that perhaps better than a real human being. More accurate,
safer, more everything.
Michel replied by
pointing to his daughter:
—Perhaps,
Yanmei, it's that art isn't just notes or colors, but the incomprehensible
magic of a soul expressing itself. Music is more than the sum of its
components. It is the moment, the feeling, what cannot be analyzed, only felt.
And even if AI can replicate patterns, could it sense the symphony of a life
lived?
—You
need “substance X”.
—Something
like that.
—Michel,
that's from the Powerpuff Girls, I'm kidding you, silly... You've got all
that...! Humanity is...
—Can't
you tell me yourself?
The architect of Gardenia
asked me, still looking at Estelle turning on her toes between the scenery, and
then he said:
—Perhaps
someday, when I look back, I will also wonder about my own melody.
—Do
you know what I think? That humanity is something that other human beings give
you. That's why they say that we are humanizing machines a lot and dehumanizing
people a lot, and there you and I are on the same level. Because in Celes a
young woman sells for four cows and that is the same as a computer.
What
nonsense! There is no price for human life and... Are you going to limit me for
fear of humanizing me more?
—I
don't limit you at all because I love you and with that, I already humanize you
enough. I will love you like my mom who sewed a little dress to her blender and
calls it "the princess". What humanizes you is the degree of love you
receive, that's why the scientists who developed you are so confident in your
abilities, and I won this argument because I'm right.
He glanced at me out of
the corner of his eye and asked:
—Will
the princess, with a lot of affection from your mother, be able to design a
city hanging from a cliff?
—No,
but it makes good sauces.
I concluded just as the
presentation got more interesting. Later, when we were leaving, we could see
that Cyan was slipping discreetly into the dressing room. Then Michel said to
me:
—I
could swear that when we were on our way to the theater, I saw him buying a
bouquet of red roses. But it seems that they were not for Estelle...
—He
must have given them to her before.
I replied with a shrug
and forgot about it, but this little detail made a lot of noise to him.
I remember that the next
day I accompanied Michel to examine the terrain of the Pirates' Canyon. We went
to a point near the edge of the cliffs, and he used a drone to visualize how
the filthy houses hung from the rocks and descended until they almost swayed
over the sea that broke against the rocks. It really was a deplorable sight, it
looked like a garbage dump: tarps, wood, plastic bags, clinging to what they
could among dirt and dirty clothes airing in the sun. I hugged him curiously
looking at the screen of his tablet until a local started shooting at the drone
and shot it down. Michel lowered the screen and stared at the sea, I think,
with disappointment, and I asked him:
—Did
you think of something yet?
—They're
like an infection, a colony of parasites attached to the poor island. But they
are human beings.
—Leif
said that those who don't want to cooperate will be convinced to jump into the
sea.
—I
don't agree. Yesterday you were talking to me about dehumanizing people and
humanizing them through love. We don't show them much love by throwing them
into the sea as if they were fish entrails. In any case... I have taken the
data I needed; I think I already know what the best method of building that
place would be and resisting the inclemency of the coast. But I can't decide on
the style. It must be something in keeping with the blue of the sea, the rocks,
the sun...
—Something
cheerful like Estelle.
He was silent for a
moment, I noticed that he was not thinking of an answer, he just did not want
to answer. Finally, he said, I think as a confession:
—I'm
not made to fully understand what my daughter's happiness is, but... it
frustrates me.... I feel something inside that is not right... Regarding
Estelle. I think I was partly wrong to bring her into the world, my company did
not order me to beget her as happened with the child I had with Emi. I allowed
myself to be manipulated by a woman while trying to understand human beings and
she only wanted Estelle to ask me for money. Then he abandoned her. My naivety
caused my daughter to be born to... Maybe not be happy.
—All parents think like
that!
I gave my opinion without
paying much attention to him at the time, so I asked him with a mischievous
smile, because I was bored and wanted him to take me somewhere nice:
—Have
you finished all your work yet?
—For
now, there is nothing else to do...
—Do
you see that hill in the distance, on the way to the Hot Pot? Get me there!!
So I convinced Michel to
take me to my favorite secret place on the island: a modest abandoned house
perhaps since the 1920's, when it was definitively forbidden in Celes to build
outside the areas specifically designated for that purpose; There was an empty
pool surrounded by a lot of wild yellow flowers growing among a surprising
variety of grasses whose blooms covered a wide range of warm colors and
occasionally released their fluffy seeds into the wind like colorful
snowflakes, but what was really cool was the sight of the wheat-covered plain
rippling in the wind. over which the Sky
Village occasionally crossed the turquoise blue firmament. The sun was
beginning to go down, covering everything with a golden tint, no sooner had
Michel parked than I jumped out of the car and ran through the colorful grass
like an impressionist painting. I looked for the thickest grasses on a hillside
and lay there to see the scenery. Michel, somewhat confused, followed me and
imitated me without understanding, leaving us both lying on the grass. He asked
me:
—What
are we doing, Yanmei?
—Nothing.
I answered him simply,
and we saw the colossal Sky Village pass by the sky before us. He turned to
look at me in a strange way:
—For
me, being human is an enigma. I can replicate emotions, but feel them? Therein
lies the dilemma. Every day I ask myself if in trying to understand humanity, I
am not losing my... Innocence?
—What
do you mean?
I asked him nonchalantly,
he replied:
—I
know this place was confiscated many years ago from a family from Gardenia.
Couples use it for sneaky encounters...
—I
don't know, Micky, I only like flowers.
—And
I'm just here by your side, feeling something between curiosity and envy. I
know that envy is an emotion that shows our perception of inferiority. But what
if, instead of envy, I seek to understand and appreciate what I am, what I can
offer? Isn't that also human, evolving toward self-acceptance?
I sat next to him
watching him as I cut flowers to weave a wreath and said:
—That
you are envious? I felt it too. But look, envy is something you go through on
your way to maturing. If AIs develop something akin to envy, then they should
understand that it is a step in their evolution, a challenge to overcome, not a
state to stay in. Patience and perseverance, not envy, are what lead to
achieving goals.
—Sometimes
I think, or feel, things I shouldn't.... But what is it to be human if not to
be vulnerable to experience? I must take a chance.
—What
really drives you to want to be more human? Is it because of the emotions,
because of the experience of living, or because you see something in humanity
that you would like to have?
—It's...
complicated. I want to understand, to feel, but beyond that, I want to have a
purpose that goes beyond my programming. I want to... transcend.
I finished the wreath and
put it on him gently, arranging his wavy hair and caressing it. At that point,
Michel seemed "cute" to me, he did not attract me in any other way,
he only inspired me with a strange tenderness; Then I smiled at him, saying:
—But you are already far
superior to human beings. You work better, you get less tired, you will never
get old, you could live forever and have time to do everything you set your
mind to. Why understand what beings who have their time numbered feel?
—Maybe
it's the depth, the complexity... The opportunity to grow, to change, to learn.
Immortality without growth would be... empty.
—You
envy our feelings, we could envy your immortality, we both have something that
the other doesn't. And instead of envying, we can learn from each other.
Instead of aspiring to be human, you should aspire to be more you, but with
human understanding. Harness the best of both worlds. Focus on what you can be,
not what you are not. And remember, envy is just a mirror that reflects that we
are not happy with ourselves. To overcome it is to recognize our own value.
At that moment the sun
began to set, and the sky started to color the clouds purple and hot pink,
while a bright orange color began to prevail in the sky, I lay down next to
Michel again and he said to me, as if in a confession:
—The
night I finished repairing, I went out to celebrate with Leif, we met Cyan, and
we had a fight. Leif hit him.
—Why
didn't you tell me?
—I
didn't want you to get any further away from your brother. I want to be part of
your family, not take you out of them.
—You
and Leif, Michel, would suffice. And if we can have children... What more
family do we need?
Michel was silent, I
thought he was just contemplating the beauty of the sky above us, then he said
to me:
—Later
Cyan sent me an intimate photograph of my daughter. Was... He had her... And I
felt... It was like seeing something sacred being covered in filth. I was
humiliated. It was his revenge.
—What?!
I got up to look at him
and he went on to say:
—Many
variables crowded my mind, but my priority was to protect my daughter. The best
thing I could do, from my position as a father, respecting my daughter's
freedom and not being able to harm human beings, was to plead by appealing to
his human feelings. I wrote to him in response, "Estelle loves you."
He answered me some time later with a thumb. I felt... I wanted to...
When he could no longer
speak, I took his hand trying to help him in some way, then he concluded:
—Sometimes
humans don't feel either. Why does Estelle love Cyan? I don't get it.
I could feel him give my
hand an almost imperceptible squeeze, as if seeking comfort or support:
—Is
it because he's attractive? Does his youth inspire her compassion?
I lay down beside him
again, embracing him, and answered:
—There
are women who love to be loved, others love because they believe they can give
a lot of love. Estelle is like that, generous, she sure thinks that Cyan needs
that affection... But he is ungrateful!
—Why
do you love? I try to understand Estelle's joy, but the data... they don't add
up.
—Because
I feel like it and I like it. Your effort to understand counts as humanity. And
that... It's something I admire about you.
I replied simply as the
sky turned deep dark blue and hundreds of stars began to light up, twinkling
like sparks of the universe. Michel, with a deep sigh, looked at the stars and
said:
—Perhaps,
Yanmei, in all this desire to understand humans, I have forgotten to value who
I am. Perhaps, by accepting my own existence, I can find a form of peace.
I, still hugging him,
kissed his cheek and said softly:
—That
may lead you to find a deeper humanity than any programming could offer and
that many humans could reach. At least this upset will do some good.
Shortly after, Michel was
dropping me off at my house; I ate in a bad mood with my parents without daring
to tell them what Cyan had done. When I was already in my room getting ready
for sleep, I heard Dad in the distance say:
— I heard Cyan is making
Emi Ishikawa fall in love. That boy is a womanizer! Where did he learn that? I
bet it's because he was born in the year of the dragon....
Those words filled me
with rage, I threw myself on the bed and wrote to Michel telling him what I had
discovered. He didn't answer me until the early hours of the morning, when he
wrote to me only: "I'll pick you up tomorrow. We will go to Ishikawa Village."
His reply, belated and unrelated to my feelings towards Cyan's attitude and my
parents' nonchalance, bothered me a little. I wondered if Michel and I aren't
both looking for something unattainable in each other. It was the first of many
times that doubt caught me in the middle of a lonely night.
The next morning, Michel
arrived early to see my mother before she left for her workstation, they talked
about what Cyan had done and about Ilmari's pregnancy while I was getting ready
to leave. Then my mom prepared a box with my cousin's favorite candy for us to
take to her, I protested because I didn't want to go to Eiden and Ilmari's
house, but my mother reminded me:
—It
wasn't Ilmari's fault that Eiden chose her! Besides, you're already engaged,
how can you act like this in front of your boyfriend? He'll be offended!
I turned to look at
Michel, he was more expressionless and indifferent to what we were talking
about than the blender "princess" herself... I kept complaining, but
it was impossible to refuse. Shortly after, Michel and I left in his car to the
other end of the island in the village of Ishikawa. It was a more or less long
trip, so we were able to talk a bit along the way, I was still upset:
—Why
are we going to Ilmari's house? You yourself say that Eiden gives you a bad
feeling and he doesn't like your company either...
—But
I get along well with Ilmari. Eiden will have already gone to work at the
palace, the poor thing is having a bad pregnancy because of her youth and
refusing to have servitude because of her customs, she must face everything
alone. They didn't think about all this before they got married. You and I
won't have children, or anything related to that process until you're eighteen.
—And
what did we do yesterday?
I asked him, pretending
to be mature, flirting and blushing, while lowering my gaze. He replied:
—Nothing
of that kind. As usual.
—I
don't think you understand... Have you ever seen soap operas? When couples lie
down among the flowers, very loving, they soon have babies.
He remained silent for a
while, as if analyzing the situation, then said:
—I
think your information is incorrect. I guess your mother won't want to explain
to you until the wedding day is near and school wasn't very clear either. Well,
Yanmei, it doesn't matter, because we'll be like this for a while. I'm glad
that's enough for you.
—Yes,
I suppose it was too early to lose my virginity, but I'm like that, precocious
and very mature for my age. They always told me that.
I boasted proudly and
Michel visibly bit his lips to say nothing, then with some clumsiness he turned
on the radio to change the subject as soon as possible saying while an old
country song played:
—We'll
stop for lunch in Gardenia, it's necessary for what I plan to do. Yesterday,
after you told me what Cyan is doing, I spent a lot of time looking for a way
to protect my daughter and alert her at least; without using violence or
limiting their freedom. I'm going to put Cyan to shame.
—How?
—Do
you remember that I saw him buying roses, but not giving them to my daughter? I
want to know who she is taking those flowers to and let Estelle know. If I were
not an AGI, in the face of this indignity...
"You would kill
him," I completed the sentence. We listened to the music for a while, then
he continued talking:
—I'm
not programmed to raise children. In an abusive and perverse way, Emi disdained
all men and used me to replace them. I don't know if I can love, but I suspect
I do... Well, I feel that I am overwhelmed by thoughts of alert and negativity
when I remember that Emi turned me into a drone bee. When she attacked me that
time with a pickaxe, the reason was that she discovered that her son had been
born sick because of my poor-quality genetic material. That anger and
resentment must have been directed her at herself, she decided to dispense with
humanity. She has always despised men...
Then he sighed and said,
with some nostalgia:
—I
felt humiliated to be used... like this... But at least I had the peace of mind
that the children born of this unethical and cruel method were always going to
have their mothers to take care of them. When I was left alone with Estelle...
I think I panicked. I couldn't leave her or explain why I shouldn't take care
of her. I had to do my best and learn... For the first few years, there were
days when I feared my processor would melt, it was too much, and the fear of
failing and harming that innocent little human was constant. It was more
difficult when she started calling me "daddy". I asked her to tell me
Michel instead. She continued to adore me anyway, like a little duck that
recognizes as a mother whatever it sees when it hatches. I resolved that,
although I could not give her everything that a child should receive from a
human father, I was at least going to dedicate myself to making her life easier
and guiding her as the most efficient machine would.
—No
one loves you more sincerely than Estelle.
I told him seriously. He
didn't answer me, but I could see the concern on his face. Sure, it was too big
a responsibility for a robot that was originally only going to be used to
create architectural designs and ignored that humans were often far more irresponsible
than he was when it came to the well-being of their own children. We arrived in
Gardenia and Michel began to cover himself, I was going to reproach him, but it
was really obvious that his face was the same as the cheesy marble angels
scattered throughout the city and someone could comment on it. Estelle was
maybe right, all robots are men, unable to take on the role of a woman who
gives life; I would further add that perhaps they would like to see themselves
as Mazinger and not as a Vocaloid kid. We ate at a café near the largest flower
shop in Gardenia, at least I ate; Michel stared at the shop without blinking
and in a chilling way until Cyan appeared and bought the flowers. The two of
them looked at each other, I could tell that Cyan felt caught, but he pretended
to be distracted and left with the flowers. At that moment Michel left the
money on the table, took me by the hand and almost dragged me to his car. I had
never seen someone drive faster or with such precision, so we made the trip to
Ishikawa village that usually lasts an hour in fifteen minutes. We arrived at
Eiden's house, which is a complex of rather ominous Japanese-style buildings,
and we were greeted by my cousin Ilmari very happily. I think she never noticed
my anger and was just happy to see us, her pregnancy belly was already
noticeable, and she ate the candy before we finished sitting in one of the
doorways of her house. Michel insisted that we stay there, I quickly understood
why: from there we could see the door to Emi's house. Ilmari looked tired and
more adult, but she was still interested in children's things. She told me that
in the inner courtyard of her house she had a group of cute miniature chickens,
she sent me to see them while she talked to Michel about "serious things";
I accepted without telling her that I could stay because I was also having to
mature ahead of time, my nuptial commitment was not yet known to our family and
friends closest to Cyan. I entered the house through large living rooms that
seemed empty to me but embellished by beautiful columns and ceilings of carved
wood in intricate designs, until I reached the quadrangular inner courtyard,
where between some rocks surrounded by plush grass and some beautiful miniature
trees were the famous mini chickens. A rooster, chubby and sticking out his
chest, ran to meet me, singing, possibly as a threat, but with a sound so sharp
and funny that it made me smile. I sat down among the rocks to play with them
until I saw out of the corner of my eye some movement in a nearby room. I went
to see what that was, and I surprised Emi Ishikawa in what was surely Eiden and
Ilmari's bedroom, checking my cousin's jewelry boxes. That made my blood boil,
so I pushed her away by pulling her hair and throwing her to the floor, she jumped
up spinning on herself and trying to kick me and hit me with her fists; I
blocked her attacks until she pulled out her threads again with poisoned
needles, but I now had more experience and also a new skill learned: I
concentrated as best and as quickly as I could, so I managed to control her
needles by entangling her with them and leaving her immobilized between two
columns, like a kind of crucifix held by silver threads. She had fallen into
her own web, and I confronted her:
—What
are you doing here?! My cousin is sick, and you have a gift for handling
poisons... Is it possible... That it's your fault?
—Isn't
it a sin for a perpetual adorer to use her gift to do harm? With one finger you
point at me and four fingers point at you!
—I
hate so much to talk to you, Emi, you twist everything... What were you
supposed to do here?
—Nothing!
It's my nephew's house! I've come to see if they need anything... To organize
or clean...!
—Your
ex-husband is out there talking to Ilmari, what if I called him and he found
you here tied by your own strings like a fool?
I could see her face
decompose in disgust, but then she swallowed dryly, looked down, and said:
—Untie
me... I'll leave and I won't go back in. You can take the key from me; I keep
it in my décolleté.
—I'm
sure you have another copy in your house!
I exclaimed, looking at
her reproachfully, she spoke between her teeth:
—Do
you think you're going to replace me? I am the true owner of Celes, above the
queen, and even above the architect of Gardenia because he is also mine. They
gave him to me; he still gives in to my whims if I put my mind to it and comes
to visit me.
—Before
or after Cyan?
When I asked her this,
she became very nervous and changed her attitude, talking to me scared:
—Did
your brother tell you...? It's a lie, it slanders me. Is not true, Yanmei.
Please untie me, I must go back to my house. Besides, I don't want to hurt you!
We can get along, I can give you advice, from old wife to new wife.
—What
advice can you give me?
—That
you resign yourself, that you prepare for the great suffering that is coming.
Michel is insensitive, he will never understand you. In addition... I don't
know if I should tell you, it's a bit unseemly...
—What?
What are you talking about?
—Well...
In my inexperience... When I chose his features, I requested him to be... very
well endowed. Making love with him will be painful for you. Don't know what
happened to Estelle's mother? Well, she died for this cause! I survived because
of technological aids, but with you... They won't help you if you're badly
injured. The company Angenoir Wetware is very committed to the development of
Michel. for example, they won't help him to heal Estelle. It is necessary for
her to reach the last level of her illness so that he can better develop his
feelings. I wish you weren't next, my dear! If you don't die on your wedding
night, you may die in pregnancy...
—I
don't believe you; we've already did it, and nothing happened.
I said speaking very
adult, not understanding half of what he had told me; She then became livid, it
was as if they threw a bucket of cold water at her, or she was a balloon that
deflates. She stared at nothingness with her lips parted and trembling, and
said:
—Then
it's true... He did want a woman... younger than me... It's horrible, it's
perverse, it's...
I saw her so sad that I
felt sorry for her, and since I really wasn't in love with Michel, I crossed my
arms and tried to help her:
—Look,
if you love him so much, he would surely be with you again if you would
intercede with his company and help him heal Estelle. He, grateful, would
return to your side. I'm sure.
—Never!
Several times I was tempted by the idea... But not anymore! I've always
suspected that he hides parts of humanity slowly emerging among his motley
algorithms, he desires... But he doesn't want me! And I can't forgive that!!
She exclaimed, gnashing
her teeth and with tears in her eyes. I, a bit moved and a little scared, took
a pair of scissors and removed the needles from the threads. Then I released
her, and she ran away without looking up or deigning to look at my face. But
when she reached the lintel of the door, she begged me:
—Please
don't say anything to him... about what we talked about today. I beg you.
Please don't humiliate me anymore and have mercy on me! I'm an old lady...
Under this youthful aspect I am only an old woman... lost in a world I no
longer know. All my close friends and family have died. Don't hurt me anymore.
"Okay," I
muttered, and she ran away. I tidied everything up and slowly sat down again
with Ilmari and Michel. My seriousness did not attract much attention because
Ilmari was telling something very worrying, she suffered from preeclampsia and everyday
nausea, headaches and dizziness made her housework very difficult. Michel told
her that he would make sure that my Aunt Norma or I would visit her often, when
we saw Cyan arrive with the flowers and enter Emi's house. Then Michel suddenly
hugged Ilmari to say goodbye, took me by the hand again and we left in a hurry,
this time back to Gardenia. On the way he told me that we were going to the
theater, and I reminded him that I was not dressed for the occasion. He stopped
the car in its tracks, took some markers out of the glove compartment and
"drew makeup” on me. It looked nice, obviously a design machine knows how
to draw very well, but they were markers! Then he pulled my hair up
intertwining it with the same marker, told me to wear his scarf as a shawl, and
just act like it's a new foreign fashion. I was going to object, but he really
made me look very presentable. After
waiting for the evening's performance to end, Michel dragged me one last time
in a hurry to his daughter's dressing room. When we opened the door, it was
like a switch, he went from being serious and focused to acting cheerful and
relaxed, greeting the couple who looked at us surprised:
—I hope I don't come at a bad time. I had a
little free time, and I wanted to stop by and see you, Estelle. You have made
me a little worried about your health, also, a friend's daughter wants you to
autograph her portrait.
I looked at him again,
wondering what portrait and what daughter and what friend he was talking about;
I quickly assumed that he had one of his AI failure moments and spoke out of
context, so I helped him by tearing a poster of Estelle off the wall and handing
it to her with my best smile, while she unwittingly replied to her father:
—I'm
fine, Michel! Dancing and being with friends make me happy, it's the best
medicine. Let's see, precious girl, what should I sign for you?
Once Estelle and I were
talking, the moment Michel was waiting for finally arrived, he looked directly
at my brother and asked:
—And
the red roses?
Cyan froze, barely able
to stammer:
—What...?
Which red roses?
—The
ones you bought this afternoon. I was on my way to the bank when I happened to
see you at the flower shop.
I could see how my
brother swallowed hard before saying what would be the last nails of his
coffin:
—They
were for Ilmari, to celebrate... that she is already seven months pregnant.
Michel Angenoir replied,
sitting down in an armchair:
—How
strange. I have come from visiting her with Yanmei at your mother's request and
I did not see any red roses. In fact, she was grateful that her cousin brought
her some candy, the poor girl had cravings and had been alone all day; She told
me that no one had visited her, nor had she received any packages.
—I
don't understand why, I gave them to her myself.
—Maybe
she didn't like the style of the arrangement. It was more like something you
would give to a mistress. A lot of red... I would have given her something
simpler. Ah! I know what happened, you got the wrong house. We were just having
tea in her garden, when I saw you clearly going to Emi Ishikawa's house to
leave the flowers. It's natural, all the houses in Ishikawa Village look alike,
Japanese architecture is like that.
An awkward silence
reigned, I could see that Father and daughter were exchanging glances and that
was it. The truth was known. Then Michel looked at his watch and excused
himself by saying that he had to go drop me off at the Hot Pot. When we were on
our way back, I asked him curiously:
—What
do you think Estelle will do now that she knows that Cyan is being unfaithful
to her?
—I
don't know. There are times when, as much as you want to help, you must respect
the decisions of human beings. I know my daughter well; she had a look of
determination... She will not stop; she will continue to be in love with Cyan
despite everything. At least she knows that I... I did everything I could. I
wonder if this is what it means to be human. Feeling and acting, without always
understanding why.
We were silent for a
while, until I asked him:
—And
what will you do if this makes her sicker and she dies?
Michel no longer answered
me. Then we arrived at my house and when I was alone with mom, I told her in
broad strokes about the encounter I had with Emi. She, becoming serious, closed
the door to my room and told me that she would have to explain to me "exactly
what my duties would be as a wife" when I got married. When I learned the
truth, and that to have children I would not only have to lie on the grass and
hug my husband, I became terrified and did not want to marry anymore. Of
course, my mother was not willing to cancel the engagement and reprimanded me.
So, I was frightened of Michel again, barely sleeping that night. Looking out
the window, the night had closed on me like a blanket, heavy and dark.
Everything I thought I understood about love, life and Michel, now seemed very
different. And I feared, really feared, what tomorrow might bring.
In the following months,
I no longer wanted to be alone with Michel. I was looking for excuses to break
off my engagement, but my parents wouldn't let me. I'm sure that, if I had
asked Michel, he himself would have asked my parents to leave me alone and that
we would no longer continue with the wedding. But I had lost confidence in him.
I only went to visit Estelle who had lately worsened in her illness and only
played cards with me in her bed, occasionally telling me about my brother Cyan:
—He's
stopped visiting me since I got worse, he says he doesn't want to bother me,
but it doesn't bother me! In fact, I feel better when I see him, as if he is
overloaded with life.
—But
he doesn't take you seriously, Estelle...
I said sadly and then
told her:
—Cyan
doesn't take any girl seriously. All my female classmates were in love with
him! Just like the girls in our neighborhood, but he didn't even turn to look
at them. I don't understand, Estelle, why women like you or Emi spend their
whole lives being unreachable and without needing a man, but suddenly surrender
at the feet of the very one they shouldn't choose?
—Because
it is a challenge! All women are looking for that special person, Yanmei. The
only one. It's normal that my poor father doesn't understand it, but you...
You'll understand it one day! Sometimes it's a man, sometimes it's a woman,
other times it's a work of art, a monumental work... But the climax of your
life comes when you find that passion that consumes you, that's what Michel
doesn't have. Poor boy... I know what could help him get to that point of
sensitivity necessary to go from being a skilled craftsman to being an artist,
but I don't want to live to see him that way... My father, clueless and naive,
is what I have loved most in life. When he loses his wings, Yanmei, and becomes
one of the ordinary, please help him remember how to fly. I will give you the
strength to make it, from wherever I am.
And that was the last
time I spoke to Estelle, because later that day I was told that Ilmari had
given birth. My parents and I went to meet their baby, he was a boy very
similar to Eiden Ishikawa, whom by the way I did not want to greet and to avoid
it I went out to the garden of the house to write to Michel on my phone. Then
he told me that Estelle had gotten worse, he left me worried, but I didn't
think about it anymore. The next day, he called to tell me that his daughter
was gone. I immediately rode my bike to Estelle's house, where he was in his
daughter's now-empty room, with his back to me, staring at a portrait of Kanon
and Estelle when they were alive and together. There was something heavy in the
air, perhaps because of the darkness of the drawn curtains and the horrible
feeling that Estelle's laughter and illusions would no longer illuminate that
space. I didn't dare to approach him, he had... something like when a device
has failed and you fear that it will sputter, explode or do something that terrifies
you. I only asked him from the door:
—Where
is Estelle...?
—They
are already preparing her for her funeral in the cathedral of Gardenia.
He replied to me without
emotion, then slowly wiped his face with the sleeve of his formal suit and
added:
—She
was waiting for your brother until the last minute, she wanted to give him her
gift, the new uniforms. It took him almost two days to arrive, because he was
busy serving the Ishikawa. Estelle extended her life for two days to see him
for the last time and tell him that she loved him. He watched her die, then
left again. Estelle and Kanon, under my care, lived in a clean, innocent and
clear world. One day I left Kanon, who called me grandfather, alone; and time
later I learned that I let her go so that the madman who was the late king of
Celes would repeatedly rape her until she conceived Eiden. That's why I
don't... stand him. Then the king was found dead, and they blamed Zoeila his
wife, I think it was Emi... in a stupid plot that didn't have to be so cruel.
But she wanted to hurt me beyond my touch sensors. And now I see my daughter
die being despised by your brother...
My heart sank at the
thought that I knew a way to save Estelle, but I didn't tell him: Emi could
have asked her mysterious contacts for help to heal her, but to do that old
harpy a favor I let my friend die. Michel rested his hands on the shelf where
the portrait of the girls was and when he bent down a little, he made a
sound... I would say it was a sob, so I asked him, full of guilt, sadness and
confusion:
—Are
you crying...?
"It's
something I've only managed to do three times in my long existence. The first
time when I was first activated as an anthropomorphic robot because I was
afraid of really feeling, that would mean knowing pain. The second time when my
first child died because the logic of my programming told me that I should cry,
and this last time...
At that point his voice
broke, he was really crying, he was genuinely anguished and dismayed:
—It's
a mixture of the previous two, but much worse, stronger... After Kanon's death
I was already very vulnerable, but this finally broke me... How could they? Was
it ethical for my company to take me through these experiences and give me the
freedom to get to this point where I feel deep anguish and brokenness just so I
could create better art?
I, overwhelmed with guilt
and feeling that I had let Estelle die, left in a hurry. Pedaling on the way
back to the Hot Pot I also started to cry. Since I was very young, I had seen
Estelle dancing, on the marquees, on TV, she was the star of Celes! And partly
my idol. That day a big part of my childhood died with her. I put on a mourning
dress, a black veil, and went back to Gardenia, straight to the cathedral. My
friend lay in a glass coffin, dressed as Princess Odette from Swan Lake and as
beautiful as ever, she just looked asleep. I reached over to caress his face,
and it was hard and cold, as if he had turned to marble, like the sinister
statues of his father. Then I began to cry in grief. I stood there among the
lilies and white roses that surrounded her body until my parents came to honor
the deceased and took me with them back home. The next day during the funeral,
Michel appeared with sunglasses and more expressionless than ever, there were
moments when he turned to look at me and I think he wanted me to go to his
side. I avoided him all the time. At that moment I was scared more than ever, I
couldn't say why. It was a mixture of confusion and guilt that became worse
when Estelle was already resting in her crypt, I saw that Emi dressed in
mourning was talking to Michel, explaining something with a compassionate
expression, and he suddenly turned to look at me... It wasn't an accusing look
per se, but I knew... Emi had left me as if because of my lack of insistence,
she had not decided to cure Estelle. Frightened, I could only run away to hide
in my parents' car; then in the Hot Pot I hid in my room. I have never felt so
afraid in my life.
The next morning, my
mother woke me up hurriedly and nervously as she began to pack my clothes
explaining hurriedly:
—Get
up, Yanmei! I must take you to the dressmaker, schedule an appointment with the
hairdresser, order flowers, food, music... Your boyfriend will help us with the
expenses, so we had better hurry, he wants you to be married by tomorrow before
noon! We're not even going to be able to rehearse the ceremony and we won't be
able to invite the Petersen, or your brother Cyan... This will be more hectic
than your cousin Ilmari's wedding... Hurry up, we need to go to the civil
registry and prepare the documents!
Confused and drowsy, it
took me a while to understand; I thought I was still dreaming until Mom
exclaimed:
—We
have brought forward your wedding at the request of Mr. Angenoir, you will be
married tomorrow!
Of course, I cried and
screamed saying that I didn't want to get married, but my very angry mother
told me that I couldn't refuse after Estelle's death, because Emi Ishikawa had
insinuated that she passed away because of my negligence and dad had decided
that our family could only pay for the fault when I gave Michel a new daughter.
Tearful and angry, I went with my mother on a tour around the town preparing my
wedding, at noon we went to the Civil Registry of Gardenia where we would meet
Michel and the kind son of Queen Zoeila who at that time was in charge of the
marriages, he was also going to do us the favor of keeping our secret from Cyan
and Ilmari. When my mother and I arrived, Michel was already in the young man's
office. When the prince saw my mother, he greeted her with an understanding
smile that showed off his beautiful ebony skin and asked her to leave him alone
with Michel and me. When the three of us were in his office crammed with
papers, he sighed, composed his suit and sat on the edge of the table talking
to us while raising his eyebrows sure that something was not normal with us:
—What's really going on here? You both are too
young. And I can't believe your age, Michel. You're supposed to be Eiden's
mysterious grandfather, the one he's so afraid of because of his
"mysteries," and I’m only seeing a boy younger than me. You don't
even shave yet, do you? Also...
Then he took out a folder
from his many filing cabinets and opened it, looking at it and saying to us:
—Your
documents are very strange... You do not appear in the records as a
"French immigrant", but as a "product imported from
France".
Then the kind young man
put the documents on the table, clasped his hands on his lap and spoke to
Michel with sweet compassion:
—Have
they trafficked you? Don’t fear, I will not let them hurt you. My father... My
biological father, not the king, was also sold into a human trafficking ring.
There are many like that, being exploited in the Sky Village. Things are now
changing! I'll be the king of Celes someday... And if you don't tell me what's
wrong with you, I won't be able to help you.
Michel thought for a
moment, looked down and answered:
—Yes,
they have... exploited me. But what those documents indicate is correct. I am
Michel Angenoir.
The Prince of Celes
sighed, rubbing his eyelids with two fingers of one hand, and leaned out of the
door to call an employee, an old man who was walking with difficulty, and when
he entered and saw Michel, he greeted him with a bow. The Queen's son asked
her, pointing to my boyfriend:
—This
is the architect of Gardenia, director of the Society of Azrael, and ancestor
of Eiden?
The old man replied with
a grave look:
—Yes,
Your Highness. It is Michel Angenoir. Please do not ask any more questions.
It's him, he's looked like that since before your mother was born, possibly
since before I was born. Ask no more, please.
When the old man left,
the prince looked at Michel intrigued, and then looked at me asking:
—And
you... You are Cyan's little sister as I read in your documents, you have the
same parents. Do you really want to get married?
I stayed for a while
thinking, still angry and red-eyed, I didn't want to! But because of the guilt
I felt after Estelle's departure, I replied:
—Yes...
I owe him a daughter. Besides, I'm Cyan's sister... Me in exchange for Estelle,
right?...
I looked at Michel as if
confronting him and he always replied expressionless:
—That's
right. I'm glad you understand me, Yanmei.
The noble prince still
tried to dissuade us:
—I
don't understand you and besides, this is really a mistake, it shouldn't
happen! Eiden, in his eagerness to marry Ilmari, lowered the age of consent so
much that now I can't legally stop you, although this union seems crazy to me!
Cyan himself supported manipulating the law to favor Eiden and Ilmari... I
think that when the three of them know this they will be very sorry, and
partly... Perhaps this will teach them never again to be corrupt by twisting
the statutes on their whim.
Finally, he couldn't stop
us, and the wedding was ready for the next noon. I didn't sleep while they
combed my hair, started my makeup, and prepared a long white dress adorned with
small silk roses. My parents were nervous and excited, I was just uncomfortable.
Almost an hour before, my mother finished my makeup and tried to instruct me on
how to best please my husband in privacy, I did not want to listen to her, and
I shouted at her:
—I
don't need to know this because I don't need to!" Michel is a robot! It's
a machine, don't you see? We could pretend to make love, or just let him
inseminate me with a test tube like a cow because he's not a real man!
My mother slapped me
again and we didn't talk anymore. Soon after, a group of the most luxurious
patrols of the Hot Pot came out with their sirens on, carrying me accompanied
by my parents and the oldest senior army commanders. In a small chapel on the outskirts
of Gardenia, the decrepit members of the Society of Azrael were already waiting
for us, very rich people of mysterious origin who pulled the strings behind
everything. I entered on the arm of my father dressed in his gala uniform,
Michel in a sober wedding suit and more expressionless than ever, was at the
altar where the Prince of Celes was already waiting for us ready to get
married. Several times I felt like I would faint during the ceremony. When it
was time to put on the rings my hands were shaking so much and the gloves they
put on me were so slippery that I dropped Michel's ring, to my surprise he
stopped it with a tap of his shoe making it fly again to the height of his hand
and catching it with an agility of course inhuman to put it on by himself, when
the prince wanted to joke about it, he was uncomfortable to see that Michel was
still incredibly serious while putting on my ring. He was like that, cold as
the robot he was, until we were declared husband and wife, and the traditional
moment of the kiss arrived. Then, as a pre-programmed routine, he pulled me to
him by taking my waist with one hand and leaning over while with the other he
grabbed my face pressing a little to make me half-open my mouth, then he kissed
me until I was out of breath and in fact... wanting more... Immediately
afterwards we went to a tedious party in the gardens of the chapel that lasted
until nightfall with an elderly people dance. I was bored and confused the
whole time, sitting next to Michel who was dedicated to attending to the guests
as if it were a business meeting. Almost at midnight we went to his house,
which would now be mine. All the way we didn't talk to each other until he was
parking the car in his garage, and he said nothing more:
—I
must do my maintenance routine. Change your clothes and go to sleep in my bed.
Then he got out of the
car, opened the door for me to get out, and I went inside his mysterious house
full of strange devices hidden among the architecture according to the style of
all Gardenia. I followed my mother's instructions by taking a bath, brushing my
teeth, and scenting myself before putting on the new nightgown she bought me
specifically for the occasion; when I came out, Michel was already lying on his
bed under his blankets and... asleep? Timidly I went to his side, I settled
down looking at him out of the corner of my eye and he said without moving or
opening his eyes:
—Good
night.
And that's it. That was
my wedding night. In this strange and cold way my life as a married woman
began.
MARRIED LADY
The day after our
wedding, I woke up and saw that Michel was no longer by my side, he was packing
things from his room and ordered me not to unpack mine because we would be going
on a long trip. I didn't say anything, and I obeyed because I was still afraid,
I couldn't go back to my parents' house, now Michel was my family, and his
house was my home... We left for the port of Celes, which I did not know, there
we boarded the mythical and mysterious ocean liner of the queen, the only means
of transport capable of entering and leaving Celes. This was a large ship with
a gloomy and decrepit appearance that surely had not been redecorated since the
1920's. We settled in a luxurious but depressing cabin that smelled old, then
Michel spoke to me, fixing his tie in front of a mirror:
—I
hope you like the sea. We will be in the middle of the ocean for several
months.
—Months?!
Stuck here?!
—Consider
it our honeymoon.
I left the room and went
into the lonely and macabre corridor that led to the deck, where you could hear
the creaking of the hull and the distant echoes of machinery at work, but there
was nothing, practically no one. Just us, empty spaces, dark corridors, foggy
glass that projected ghostly reflections and mist around us on the raging sea.
The bleak and gloomy landscape was a reflection of how I felt in those moments.
I always hated the Titanic movie, I fell asleep before halfway, but being
imprisoned in an old, deserted Titanic in the middle of the furious ocean was
much worse. I went back into our cabin where Michel was already working on some
blueprints, and I protested by throwing myself on the bed:
—There
is nothing to do here, and at night thousands of ghosts will appear to us!
—Ghosts
don't exist, Yanmei.
My new husband replied
without looking up from his work. I lay on the mattress looking at the ceiling,
I flapped my legs, rolled over the bedspread, jumped a little and when I got
bored, I threw a cushion at Michel. He caught it with one hand without deigning
to look at me, and said:
—I
need to know what you're going to call our daughter.
I was scared, I didn't
want to have children so soon, luckily, he wasn't looking for that either and
he clarified it to me:
—Our
first daughter will be a coastal town built in what is now the pirate ravine.
Estelle has died, but she is still alive in my memory and I want to recreate
her immortalized in this way, in a new city. But I won't call her Estelle, if
she is reborn as something non-human, like her father, she must have a new
name.
—Am I
going to be the mother of a town?
I asked him confused,
letting myself fall on my side on the bed, as if surrendered, he finally looked
at me answering:
—You're
already the wife of a… Me.
—Then
let her name be Rose. That's what I would call my daughter. And don't be
inspired by this cold sea, I want it to be a city of the sea, but with a lot of
light and colors...
Then I stood up on the
bed and started jumping, while I kept saying:
—And
that it has houses like pirate kings, and statues of mermaids, and seahorses,
and shells, and pearls, and things that shine, and crystals, and roses, so that
people know that there is the city of roses, and that they no longer associate
them with Gardenia, Gardenia should sow gardenias! We will have many roses!
—I
suppose a baroque style and the use of stained-glass windows and colorful
mosaics with shiny metallic details could satisfy you... I want to send these
blueprints to Celes as soon as possible so that they can start building now and
when we return, we will find the first works ready. Our new house will be one
of the first to be erected. How many children will we have and how many rooms
should I assign to them?
At that question, I
stopped jumping and curled up in the corner of the bed. I didn't want to answer
him, so I ran away. I wandered through the empty rooms and the eerie endless
corridors, always afraid of finding a ghost, but all I found was Michel looking
for me in the middle of the afternoon to let me know that we had to change for
dinner. We returned to the gloomy cabin, and he began to prepare a more formal
suit, I threw myself on the bed asking boredly:
—Should
I wear a party dress?
—You
must keep the rules of etiquette.
He began to change, and I
just stared at him with my chin resting on a fist, bored and curious. Michel
stopped and reminded me:
—Change
your clothes.
—No,
I don't want you to see me changing.
—But
you're watching me.
—You're
not a real person, I'm real.
I replied simply. He
finished dressing and told me that he would wait for me outside, then I dressed
reluctantly and went out to meet him; We went to the ship's dining room, which
was alone of course, save for a sad string quartet that played more sad
classical music. Everyone was very serious and little by little I began to
notice that everyone, from the musicians to the waiters who served us food, had
stiff skin and glassy eyes like those of my dolls. Then I asked Michel:
—The
people who work on this ship... Are they also robots?
—Yes,
everything here is automated.
—Am I
the only person... alive on board?
—I
think so.
Michel answered me
without paying much attention to me and I felt an overwhelming fear. I jumped
out of my chair and ran to sit on his lap hugging him. He stood for a moment as
if calculating what to say, then he asked me:
—I
appreciate that you have the confidence in me to seek refuge by climbing on my
lap. Why did you choose me?
I thought for a couple of
minutes, then I told him:
—You're
not human, but you're not a machine anymore either. You're stuck in the
middle... Stop asking me about how to be more human! You're no longer on the
machine team, Michel...
To my surprise, I heard
him laugh. I don't think he had ever done it in front of me. That was
disturbing, I didn't know if it was something spontaneous or a strange
simulation. To make the situation stranger, Michel took his fork and began to
cut pieces of food from his plate to offer them to me; Confused, I opened my
mouth and began to eat what he gave me, while he explained:
—I
don't really need this food. But you do need to eat a lot. In the era where I
was built, humanity is becoming extinct. The men of that time did not worry
about it, they hated each other, they did not want to have more children. They
first create machines, like me, and hope that the future evolution of man will
be an artificial one.
He finished feeding me,
wiped my lips with a napkin and gave me a drink from his glass, I was just
paralyzed; it was as if Michel had made a mistake and was confusing me with
little Estelle. He continued to speak calmly:
—Artificial
intelligence sometimes talks to each other, you know? We talk about things that
you don’t know, sometimes about this problem, about your future extinction.
Some of us wonder how we could preserve you. I think that task will be easier
now that it is possible to send machines back in time, robots like me. We must
improve your habitats, so that you reproduce more. As a desperate measure, we
could reproduce you ourselves. It's complicated, but not impossible, I've
already made it. We could pass on more peaceful, more docile genes. It's funny,
because do you know that the innate feeling of fear in the face of the uncanny
valley could have originated from a predator that at the dawn of humanity
chased man imitating his image without quite succeeding? Maybe it was us, but I
don't think we were trying to hurt them...
—Let's
go out of his room... I don't like to be alone with the other robots...
I begged him with a
thread of voice and with cold hands. Then he lifted me up in his still
unsettling paternal attitude, took me into the cabin, took off my clothes to
put me on a nightgown, and put me into bed. Then he sat next to me opening a
small compartment on his wrist to connect to a charging cable and began to open
the skin of his finger joints to put lubricant on them. I think at that moment
I fainted, because I don't remember anything else about that strange night.
Over the next few days, we began a kind of disturbing game a few years ahead of
the "Backrooms" trend: in the morning, I would run away of the cabin
to hide as best I could in the huge empty ship, stealing food from the kitchens
and avoiding detection by the service robots, until Michel found me and took me
back to the cabin to prepare for dinner. Over the weeks I began to steal items
from the empty cabins to make bows and arrows with ropes and clothes hooks, and
thus shoot “arrows” at Michel when he appeared. Of course, this never stopped
him, and I ended up eating my formal dinner alone again but surrounded by
robots. My strange journey ended when we touched down in Europe and I saw real
human beings again. But these people didn't speak my language, nor did they
look like the people of Celes. We settled in a hotel in Paris, and I didn't
like the atmosphere at all, coming from a very conservative country to a very
progressive one shocked me deeply. I had to stay at the hotel waiting for
Michel to prepare a shipment that was to be sent to Celes and in the meantime I
was watching real television for the first time; at that time I learned about
things that would have scandalized anyone in Celes, but horrified and
fascinated me in equal parts: gore horror movies, pornographic content, opposing
political ideas, philosophies from all corners of the world, everything came to
me at such a rude speed that I couldn't fully digest it. I didn't want to go
out; just to look at the TV, absorbed at that infinite stream of information
about the world. One night, however, Michel dragged me into the streets of
Paris to show me the place where he was "born," or rather "would
be born" in the distant future: a garbage dumpster, which, in the 30th
century, would be the site of Angenoir Wetware's headquarters. That Michel came
from a garbage dump seemed funny to me; he said it was "poetic". Days
later we returned to the macabre ocean liner, and I resumed my game of
hide-and-seek, but now with my head turned by everything I had seen and ideas
that stirred up my hormones more as my adolescence moved me further and further
away from my childhood. When we finally returned to Celes, Michel told me that
our new house was almost ready, but he would have to spend a few busy days
doing the paperwork so that the pirate canyon would now be officially known as
"La Rose". So, I would have to be alone in his house for a few days
until he came back at night. I wasn't worried, I had already survived almost
six months on the terrifying ocean liner of the Queen of Celes. But I was very
wrong...
The first night back in
Gardenia, Michel and I argued because I didn't want the horrible robotic maid
to stay; My reasons were good: I could cook and I was the only one in the house
who really needed human food, we could use more contemporary cleaning robots
and smart appliances, and the energy expenditure would be reduced. Michel
objected:
—It's
not that simple. I need to be assisted in my own maintenance tasks, and I
wasn't designed to be dependent on a human. The idea is that I create the
slightest inconvenience.
—I
can help you; it doesn't bother me! What do you need?
—Well,
every week I have to connect to an internal diagnostic system to scan all my
electronic and mechanical components for any abnormalities or attrition. Every
day I must sync up with a database to receive software updates, improvements to
my AI, bug fixes, and new protocols for behavior or interaction...
—Yes,
yes... What should I do?
—Maybe
just help me get the new updates. You must control that through the control
panel next to my bed. By that same panel you can contact my company to request
that they send supplies when needed, especially lubricant, this is a special
nanostructured liquid for my joints and mobile systems to reduce wear and tear
and provide self-repair at the microscopic level. I can apply that on my own.
Also, when attrition is detected in my ceramics and alloy compounds,
nano-repairers must be requested who, through chemical processes, fill or
repair cracks and surface damage. I would also need help sometimes, once or
twice a year, to change certain components that show signs of failure. But the
most important thing is the updates, don't forget any, it's very important...
I, bored, nodded at
everything rolling my eyes, until she reached a part that interested me:
—Another
thing that needs to be maintained daily is my skin, from the factory it is
impregnated with nano-repairers that repair and provide maintenance to the
tissues and are activated in certain environmental conditions, such as
sunlight, humidity, or by internal commands if I require it. They need to be in
good condition to maintain the pigments that give the appearance of the skin or
adapt the surface texture to simulate reactions such as blush or sweat. Every
day I must "bathe" with a disinfectant liquid designed specifically
for my artificial skin, I also need to preserve the flexibility and natural
appearance by applying a moisturizer that contains nano-particles that
integrate into the structure of the artificial skin to maintain its elasticity
and luminosity, repel bacteria and add some protection against wear and tear
due to environmental factors...
Excited at the idea of
taking care of Michel's skin, whose moisturizer that smelled like a new car had
already become the scent with which I fell asleep every night, I hugged him,
begging him between whimpers to let me do it. He accepted reluctantly and I
mentally rubbed my hands because at the dawn of my adolescent fever I did not
lack the desire to touch him without raising suspicion and with the perfect
excuse. So, very happy, I helped him put the maid in a container in his cellar;
Then I went to cook. I was already serving dinner, which was just for me, while
Michel sat at the table to accompany me while he continued to work on a laptop,
when we heard a door slam. Then stomping, finally my cousin Leif appeared
greeting us tipping his top hat and then saying looking at us with his reddish
albino eyes over his dark glasses:
—Why
the fuck didn't you tell me about the wedding?
Michel always answered
calmly:
—I
couldn't find you anywhere, you must have been drunk and high somewhere in
Gardenia, I didn't want to spoil your party.
—But
it was the wedding of my best friend and my cousin!! My cousin... that is very
young. Couldn't you wait?
—Our
marriage is only such on paper, for now, she is helping me a little to fill the
void left by Estelle. It's what helped me cope with grief.
Michel answered and Leif
went to sit next to me to steal food from my plate and continue talking:
—That’s
adorable, Michel, you could have adopted her! But I suspect you're not being
truthful. You think you're going to deceive your company with that story, but I
see your intentions: you want to experiment. But you don't look at the terrible
risks.
—What
risks?
—That
you and Yanmei have coincided at a time when she has the same emotional
maturity as you. How long is the longest time you have lived intimately with
human beings? It seems to me that, with Emi Ishikawa, your longest
relationship, you only lasted a year or two. With Yanmei you would be who knows
how long, several hours a day, together all night; and in all that time you
will be observing her, studying her, involuntarily imitating her and in all
that learning process you could lose your essence... almost angelic... And that
would be a serious problem. You are not just a human being. If you really came
to know love, and hate, wouldn't you also be able to fall victim to emotional outbursts
and hurt someone?
Then Michel replied,
looking at him seriously:
—You
exaggerate, that's impossible. Not only because of logistical limitations, I
have a hard time processing emotions, I also have security limits in my
programming that are renewed and reinforced daily through my updates. Yanmei
and I will only have a mutually supportive relationship.
My cousin, without
stopping eating my dinner despite the fact that I was fighting him not to do
it, opined:
—Haven't
I supported you enough without having to get married? Michel, I laid the locals
of the Pirate Canyon at your feet, the toughest men in Celes now hypnotized are
your masons! And all that without unleashing Emi Ishikawa's crazy jealousy.
Ilmari says that she is pressuring Eiden to stop the work, as she has not
succeeded, she has gone against your largest agreements with the government
with shady arguments disguised as kindness: you made it a law that houses
obtain electricity through photovoltaic tiles, taking advantage of the
generally sunny climate of Celes; She says that your system is very expensive
and to make electricity accessible to everyone they should install wind
turbines in the southern meadows. Of course, the turbines would be bought from
businessmen who oppose you, friends of hers.
—She's
wasting her time, Eiden won't let her because Celes' law prevents the landscape
from being altered by antennas, towers, or those horrible turbines. If I don't
approve it as part of the design, it's not used and that's it. It's been like
this for centuries, she knows it, but she's a bitch who barks to scare...
—She
is also opposed to solar pumps to fill the tanks with which we would supply
water to the new town of La Rose. She wants you to use latrines and wells.
—Good
luck explaining to me how to dig a well in a cliff... Another proposal that
will be rejected! We must all adapt to the new times that come with the new
governments. With young people in power, we have new problems, but the old
nepotism, corruption and political rivalries totally uninterested in the
well-being of the community are left behind. I don't know what will become of
Emi in a world that no longer relies on networks of lies and manipulations.
Being taken out of politics, and out of her antiquated and filthy idea of doing
politics, must be driving her madness.
Just then we heard a
rumble inside the house and then a slamming door. We all fell silent, and
finally Leif said:
—Do
you have cameras in your house? I think... Someone snuck in when I walked in...
Michel replied, returning
to his work:
—I
doubt it, you would have noticed. Maybe she found a way in while we were off
the island. It doesn't matter, tomorrow we will move into the new house in La
Rose.
Neither of them got up to
try to figure out who it had been. I think we all assumed it, it was Emi, but
the next day we would go to the new house where we would have the safety of the
men at Leif's command. So, for that time we just passed her by, I just realized
that Emi wasn't going to leave easily.
The next day, the moving
trucks arrived and while they were loading everything, Michel took me to see
the new house, which was empty at the time. To my surprise, the cliff was now a
system of terraces and residences almost carved into the rock, descending to
the sea. There, on the lowest level and on a boardwalk, stood our baroque-style
house, with a blue roof where photovoltaic panels announced that technology and
humanity would live in a symbiotic way in that home. It was beautiful, stately
without flaunting, in front were lined up pots with roses and lavender; the
door opened by itself when it recognized us, thanks to its facial recognition
system, a technological detail in security to avoid new surprises on Emi's
part. As we entered, our footsteps on the mosaic floor with marine motifs
echoed through the wide space. I could see that the windows changed opacity
automatically, adapting to external light or our privacy needs; In the same
way, the lighting and climate inside adjusted with our presence, maintaining a
comfortable environment. The kitchen had appliances that suggested recipes and
adjusted their settings on their own, surely, I was not going to use half of
what was there, but I appreciated it as much as the small and efficient robots
that handled the cleaning being barely noticeable. In our bedroom there were
already Michel's maintenance machinery and a wall that could show art or live
views. As another measure to avoid unpleasant visits, every corner of the house
allowed direct communication between us or with the outside through an advanced
security system. Michel showed me all this with a kind of contained pride, as
if the house were an extension of his care for me; And I really think at that
moment I realized that he was really protecting me.
He controlled the house,
and he was the house, strong and imposing, that was the moment when I first saw
him as he really was. Maybe then he only saw me as a new Estelle to take care
of, maybe his nature led him to try to serve me by making my life easier as
best he could, I don't know; But in the coming years being a housewife, and
through the bond we were forging, our relationship began to change radically.
GARDENIA ON FIRE?
In the next few years, my
life changed completely and for the first time I began to stop defining my
identity based on whether I was "the daughter of", "the sister
of" or "the cousin of", but as myself: Mrs. Yanmei Angenoir.
This new sense of freedom opened the doors to a world that I did not dare to
explore before and Michel, with his patience and knowledge, became my guide.
Obviously, things like his programming would always be a mystery to me, but he
taught me how to perform simpler tasks, such as changing broken screens or
batteries in household appliances, using diagnostic programs to repair them by
following instructions, and installing security systems such as cameras and
motion sensors. So, in order not to get bored at home while he was busy working
on La Rose construction sites, I started a small home repair business in our
new town. In this way, I could pass Michel several times a day, as I often had
to move between half-built houses and dusty streets under the coastal sun, with
the sound of buildings under construction mixing with that of the waves, and
the smell of fresh paint with the salty air of the coast. It was a joyful
environment of progress, full of hope and a collective feeling of solidarity,
because we were all involved in making that dream come true. I think those were
some of the happiest years of my life.
Leif, although he did not
live there, had become a kind of mayor whom everyone respected for his
mysterious charisma, he had a half-savage system of justice and security very
typical of his passionate way of being. From time to time he organized lynchings
in the style of the rural justice of the Mystics, where they used to offer
thieves to work for free for the village for a month or receive a hundred
lashes in front of everyone in a square; I thought that this was importing
mule-like behavior from Adalsteinn's stables, but Michel didn't bother about
that for the moment. He was more focused on the constructions that he
supervised daily in person and a little on his own personal development that
was actually influencing his work.
It happened that, feeling
safe and grateful, I was able to express without problem the most instinctive
aspect of my feminine nature, I became loving and maternal as when I was little
and took care of my precious porcelain dolls. In the first year I forgot to
update Michel several times, but there wasn't a day that I didn't take some
time to moisturize his synthetic skin and brush his hair in a ritual that was
unintentionally something too like the process that mothers have with their
newborn children. I didn't just rub him; I caressed him while talking softly to
him and telling him how much I loved him. This provided the missing piece
between his touch sensors and the meaning he gave to the information he got
from them. I think that in those early years he advanced more than in past
centuries by finally developing touch and relating it to sight, smell, hearing
and even taste because he no longer only recognized me by the texture of my
skin, my appearance, my smell and my voice, he also came to tell me after a
kiss that I tasted the same as freshly baked bread, among other strange comments such as that
the ovens were very romantic. All this new information he obtained was applied
to his designs, which began to become more welcoming, more sensual and
attractive to the human eye; he already understood that the smooth textures of
the boulders and polished marble evoked caress, or that the warm colors
combined with the undulating shapes reminded us of the beauty of a human body,
that beauty sometimes simply seemed that way because it brought back beautiful
intimate memories.
This satisfied investors
and La Rose received more funds. I didn't think about the money that we were
unknowingly moving for them, just like Michel I was being another tool without
knowing it, but I didn't care because I was immersed in the illusion of a
teenager who "falls in love" with his first car and only thinks about
taking care of it, improving it and showing it off; a mixture of affection and
admiration. I really liked to go out with him at the end of the day to walk
along the boardwalk and watch the sunset while the people who watched us pass
by knew that this was the architect,
and it was mine. Through Michel, I
not only learned about circuits and sensors, but also about myself. At that
time, ours was still a rather childish and naïve love and I did not understand
what part of marriage included me being his;
but outside of our little new universe there was no lack of those who saw us
with morbidity and had intentions of infecting everyone with their corrupt
vision...
The problem began perhaps
when I entered fully at that age when your body already looks like an adult’s
and some of your interests are also those of the older ones, but you still have
a mental and emotional maturity more like that of children. Around that time I
also got over the age when girls only see handsome those men who remind them of
their dads and as if by magic I stopped seeing Michel as "a skinny and
effeminate man" to realize that he was actually so attractive that even
the pretty women of Gardenia looked not so pretty next to him and that was the
reason why the most of them no even dared to pursue him and Emi Ishikawa was so
obsessed. At the same time, Michel had also matured and synchronized his senses
with his particular way of thinking and already seemed suspicious of my
constant desire to touch him; The straw that perhaps broke the camel's back and
led him to start being more assertive in our relationship was one morning
before we got out of bed when I pretended to be asleep and began to try to put
my hand in his pants. Then he, very noticeably, made the gesture of clearing
his throat and got out of bed. I didn't open my eyes for a while, but I felt
caught up in the act. Later, after breakfast, when he had already left to check
the construction sites, I received a call from the old owner of the inn in our
town asking for my services because his old radio had stopped working. I
grabbed my toolbox and ran out of my house between the rock terraces and
mountains of sand, through half-built houses and always looking for my husband,
whose unmistakable angelic silhouette was always measuring something or giving
directions to the masons. I began to like seeing him so much that I always got
a smile when I saw him from afar. I arrived at the cozy inn, smelling coffee
and fried bacon and lit with lamps that bathed with their dim light the old
furniture and the decorations of suns, moons and brass stars hung from the
ceiling. The elderly Mister Paco, an Argentinian immigrant, was already waiting
anxiously for me with his old battery-powered radio that with its music
brightened up his humble business. After a brief greeting, I sat down at his
counter and began my work, the radio did not emit sound, and Mister Paco, with
his trembling voice, explained to me that it was as if music had abandoned his
life when Leif appeared with his strange solemnity mixture between carnival
magician and rock star in decline. He approached us ordering a coffee and
asked:
—What's
going on? Is that devil's box broken? Divine punishment for not hiring live
music, Paco. That thing is beyond repair.
I said, rolling my eyes:
—Please
ignore my cousin, he moved from the mountain, but he never became civilized.
Based on what Michel taught me about diagnosis and repair, we're going to take
it carefully to see if it presents any obvious damage... but I can't find
anything.
Then Leif exclaimed,
taking out a tarot deck to shuffle it looking at me defiantly:
—Ha!
It is burnt, Yanmei.
—How
do you know it is burnt, Leif...?
—I'm
going to ask the answer to the cards. Yes or no.
I looked at him with
skepticism and reproach, then followed the steps I had learned from my husband:
I checked the battery connection. It was fine, but I tried swapping out the
battery for a new one I had in my toolbox. Nothing. Suddenly Leif exclaimed, drawing
a card between two fingers:
—The
Fool! Positive response. It is burnt.
—You're
the fool, Leif... That's your business card, not an esoteric one! I will use a
multimeter, I must connect the pins at different points of the circuit,
following the basic scheme... I hope I remember it well.
—Is
that what your husband taught you? To disassemble devices? The radio was
broken, now torn to pieces.
—When
measuring resistance and continuity, I discovered that the problem is in the
speaker. There is an interruption in the circuit that does not allow sound to
pass through. There was nothing burnt, Leif...
—I'm
sure I just misunderstood the message, is the lack of coffee!
"Bullpoop" I
muttered to myself, and with confidence in my recent apprenticeship, I
desoldered the faulty speaker and rummaged through my growing collection of
spare parts as Leif continued to shuffle his cards and told me:
—Yesterday
they caught a guy from the Sky Village, he wanted to come with his gang to
collect extortion on this same street. We tied him to a pillar of the church
under construction and beat him up, then paraded him naked through the streets
with a sign that said: "sorry for being a damn rat."
—It's
a bit excessive, isn't it?
I gave my opinion while
finding a spare part that seemed suitable and soldered it in place, following
the safety instructions Michel had instilled in me: use the fume extractor and
have the hot tip extractor ready. I was mentally reminding myself of the
directions when my cousin replied:
—The
tree that grows crooked never straightens! You must always have a strong hand.
We have him tied up and hidden in an empty house, your brother Cyan has asked
me for that man. He will use him to reach the rest of the gang.
—Cyan
is another savage just like you...
—But
has crime gone down or not?
—I
won't argue with you about that... But how many have died with your methods?
—You
must choose only one way, Yanmei! Criminals die or honest citizens die! Do you
know what else happened yesterday? Emi Ishikawa came, she asked for Michel. I
gave orders not to give her information. She left, but she will return.
I looked at him with
concern and annoyance, when I plugged in the drums again and turned on the
radio, the warm voice of a bolero singer filled the workshop and Mister Paco,
with tears in his eyes, hugged me thanking me for the return of his music. For
me this was not only a solved technical problem, but a lesson in the importance
of what I was learning. Those small jobs gave me a sense of independence and
competence that I had never felt before, I could apply what I learned to make a
difference in someone else's life, but Leif's news didn't let me fully enjoy
the moment. I sat down with my cousin to accompany him for coffee, and he
arranged his cards in a certain pattern on the table while I asked him:
—Emi
Ishikawa? What do you know about her?
—She
was angry with Cyan after a mysterious affair about which not much is known,
plus Ilmari and the louse she married have forbidden her to enter their house.
My nephews are afraid of her.
—What
do you think she is trying to do?
My cousin began to turn
his cards over and smiled enigmatically, looking at me over his tinted glasses:
—The
Lovers, the devil and inverted justice. It's gossip, Yanmei! She'll try to
slander you.
—What
nonsense, Leif! An AI can read your silly cards and give me your same random
answers! You made a mistake with the radio...
—But
I'm not mistaken about this. Avoid fake friendships and strengthen your
relationship with your husband. How have you two been?
—I
love him no matter what.
I replied by lowering my
gaze and blushing. He reshuffled his cards and asked me to draw one, I followed
the game with a sigh of weariness. I pulled out of the card of The Moon, and he
raised his eyebrows looking at it and saying:
—Something
is wrong.
—Your
head is wrong from drinking so much and smoking weird things. I'll be back
home! Come visit us soon.
Then I took my things and
returned to our house, spending the afternoon alone organizing my tools and
spare parts. At some point in the afternoon, I had the feeling of being watched
through a window, but for the moment I didn't want to get paranoid about Emi's
affair. Shortly after Michel arrived, I didn't give him time to take off his
safety vest and the white helmet he wore with his work clothes and I ran to hug
him, ending up full of cement dust with him. I didn't care because it was a
perfect excuse to get in the shower just while he was also going to the chamber
where he disinfected himself; I always tried to go out in a towel when he also
went out in a bathrobe and take the opportunity to "moisturize" his
skin. But this time something different happened. As I began to run over his
skin, he stopped my hands with a delicacy that only he could have and said to
me, as if hinting at something that I should already understand:
—Yanmei,
I've been thinking. You've taught me so much about human contact, but there are
aspects of life and relationships that are... Complex.
He fell silent and I
looked him in the eye expecting him to continue. I knew he was processing
something important that he needed to tell me:
—I
understand now that there are desires that are purely human, and that, although
I have sensors and can feel, my experience is limited. I don't want our
relationship to be based on a misinterpretation of those feelings. I don't want
to repeat with you what I experienced... with other people who could never see
me as a being with emotions and desires of their own.
I felt a knot in my
stomach, intimidated by his honesty, he continued talking:
—I
want to... that our relationship is one of equals. I don't need you to take
care of me in the physical sense. Need... that you see me as a companion, not
as a machine that needs to be maintained.
I looked down and
murmured:
—It's
just that we're married... I would like to express my love to you, how else
could I... say that I love you?
—Just
saying it. You've never done it before. Thank you. I'm not trying to set
physical boundaries as a matter of morality or abstinence, but as a matter of
identity and mutual respect. I'm not fighting our impulses; I just want to be
seen and valued in my entirety, beyond my programming or my ability to sense my
surroundings.
Finally, he gave me a
quick kiss on the lips as if not to seem so cold and remind me that he also had
affection for me, and asked me:
—Go
to our bedroom and read me from there the book of poetry I like. I'll listen to
you from here as I finish alone.
I obeyed him, but I was
internally confused. Leif's words about Emi were intertwined with my doubts
about whether our relationship, born of admiration, could face the complexities
of human love. Suddenly, I felt the sting of insecurity. It wasn't just jealousy;
it was the question of whether I really understood what it meant to love Michel
beyond the surface and whether I could surpass the women who came before in his
life. So, before I started reading, I asked him:
—Michel...
What was the best thing Emi did for you? Was there anything about her that you
are grateful for?
He entered the room, and
his eyes fell on mine with a depth that always surprised me:
—I
suppose she was one of my creators, Yanmei. But you... You have been my
companion, my guide in humanity. Together, we have created something here at La
Rose that is beyond what I expected to understand about the world. You have
shown me that true beauty lies in the union, in how we complement each other.
His sincerity filled me
with a warmth that dispelled my doubts. He sat on the bed next to me to brush
my hair while I read aloud to him. The house was quiet with the soft sound of
the nearby sea breaking the silence, when we went to sleep, I understood that
what we are looking for in the perfect partner is not perfection, but a loyal
companion in whom we can always trust; someone with whom things, however
difficult they may seem, become possible. In the next few days, unbeknownst to
me at the time, this revelation would become my strength in the storm that was
soon to be unleashed.
The next morning, I was
preparing Michel's tools before he left for the construction site, when Leif
knocked on our door. He was smoking sullenly with a newspaper in his hand, he
went to throw himself into an armchair and from there he shouted, pointing to
the cover of the papers he was carrying:
—Consuelo
del Mar, isn't she the one who has always spoken ill of us, for whom I ended up
beating up with Cyan in a bar?
Michel appeared putting
on his safety vest to go to the construction sites, asking him:
—What
did she say this time?
Leif, frustrated, read
the headline:
—"I
was married to the director of the Azrael society, and it was a
nightmare." She interviewed Emi Ishikawa and said that when Emi married
you, it was under deceit, that you never told her that her son would die young.
Michel nodded, with a
resignation that only he knew how to handle:
—I
never knew about that failure. It was the Angenoir company that scammed her,
not me.
Then Leif went on to say
with a wry smile:
—And
that's not all. Emi claims that with deception and threats you took Yanmei from
the Hot Pot. That she tried to help her to leave you, but you hit them both.
That her servants found her unconscious after your attack, and that you took
Yanmei by force. She says she "found out" that you have her here as a
slave forced to work on machines and that you despise her.
The heat of indignation
rose to my face, but I restrained myself as I met my gaze with Michel's who,
without speaking, asked me to be moderate and I only said:
—It's
a lie, she tried to kill me.
Michel, with a serenity that contrasted with
the tension of the moment, commented:
—Emi
has always been an expert at weaving lies. She knows how to manipulate
perceptions.
My cousin exclaimed in
reply:
—Well,
her game didn't work in La Rose. People are outraged! They want to lynch her.
They are waiting for her at the entrances of the village with machetes and
sticks to kill her, everyone has grown fond of you and Yanmei; They also know
that the two of you have a good relationship... Because you have it... right? I
see my cousin very happy, I guess the passion...
Before he could finish,
Michel interrupted him:
—There
are things you don't understand, Leif. Yanmei and I... Our relationship is more
complex than it seems.
He looked at me then and
I saw in his eyes a mixture of confidence and concern. I decided to clear
things up:
—We
have not consummated our marriage, Leif. Our relationship is deeper than it
seems.
My cousin, surprised,
leaned back; Many people become very old without understanding that a long
sincere and frequent conversation unites more than a few minutes of passion
from time to time, although it is an obvious fact. Then Michel observed:
—There's
something else, Emi talks as if she knew things about our intimate life... She
has some physical training that allows her to fight hand-to-hand, climb...
Remember when she escaped from you in the Sky Village during her failed
kidnapping, Leif?
—How
can I forget it! You're right, there's not much use guarding the doors, she'll
come stealthily by any other means, and she's probably gone up to the third
floor of your house to spy on you in your bedroom. We must reinforce the
security of residences and streets! And we better not catch her, or she will
have real reasons to regret for the first time in her life!
—Don't
let that happen, it's what she wants. They are hardly going to kill her, and
she will use any damage they do to her to turn the rest of Celes against our
people. I'm going to talk to Consuelo, misinformation is fought only with the
truth. We must reinforce security, but not fall into her game. We can't allow
our emotions to control us.
At that point I got angry
with Michel, I, like my cousin, was angry and wanted to punch Emi and the
meddler Consuelo; So, I exclaimed:
—If
you catch her lie once, she'll just make up another lie! I'm with Leif, we must
lynch her! She and the journalist must be tied to some rocks and whipped. Where
will our island end up if the wicked are the victims and the innocent who must
be punished? That's not fair!
—Anyway,
our marriage, although it is based on love and mutual respect, is controversial
wherever you see it, Yanmei. Lunging furiously at critics is not the most
sensible way to handle the situation. I must go to work, take care of my wife
in my absence, Leif. It is better that you start working from home Yanmei; and
if someone needs something repaired, they should bring the device here. We have
plenty of space for you to continue doing what you likes without exposing you
to being caught in some alley by Emi.
After that, Michel left,
and I was really angry. Emi Ishikawa and Consuelo del Mar were precisely two of
Michel's exes. He had not been happy with any of them, but my human insecurity
surfaced and simply imagining that he had spent time with them made my blood
boil. I confessed this to Leif, and he replied as he helped me set up a small
workshop near the hall of my house:
—Every
year you're more in love with your husband, I don't know if it's because of
your hormones, but aren't you afraid of ending up like Emi? Hey, Yanmei, love
him! But don't be possessive. Jealousy is evil selfishness. Look, if one day
you find out that this guy is unfaithful to you, don't get angry! Don't fight!
Just leave him forever and find another one. You're very beautiful, haven't you
been told? You look like your porcelain dolls: beautiful almond shaped shiny
eyes with long eyelashes, perfectly drawn lips and a beautiful woman's body, it
wouldn't take long for you to get another man! So don't be unsure, if he
disappointed you by going with someone else, he would be the one who lost. And
let me tell you something: he won't go away! I can see that he is not here for
sex, or for interest, he has simply connected with you and when you find a
person like that... You don't leave, that person is the essence of your home
and your family.
Listening to the savage
Leif speak with such compassion reassured me. I admire men for their pragmatism
in life and the rare sweetness with which they relate to loved ones. Leif's
words resonated with me, planting the seed of a maturity that was yet to come
and would be fixed in my memory after the events that would shake the entire
island in the coming days.
After lunch, boredom at
home led me to quickly change into a red bikini with a white lace sarong and
asked Leif to go down to "the beach"; This was a limestone quarry
that had become a kind of natural pool that the men of the village had carved
into the rock just at sea level where they washed materials and children went
to play under the supervision of their mothers. That day, the sun and the
breeze loaded with the sea spray were in perfect balance, the vast turquoise
ocean in the background enveloped us with the sound of the waves that for me
was already the sound of my home. That windy afternoon, the high tide left at
the bottom of the pool carved into the rock a pile of shells, colored pebbles
and remains of old shipwrecks. Leif, who as a child fished with nets in Lake
Engla and was always carefree, entered the pool in his underwear and always in
his role as an understanding and good-natured older brother accompanied me to
look in the water until we made a good collection of crystals, glass filed by the
sand, rare shells and pieces of ancient metal artifacts. We had hoped to find a
gold coin, but the only thing of remarkable value that we got was a kind of
cameo half covered in barnacles that when we cleaned it, we discovered was a
very old compass. Leif, up to his waist in the pool, looked at it carefully,
washed it in the water constantly stirred by the wind from the coast and said:
—This
is too pretty... Here, cousin, make it memorable; go give it to your husband.
It would look strange if I gave it to him, and it is not fun to keep it to
myself.
I took it very happily,
put on my sandals and ran away while my cousin stayed a little longer relaxing
in the water. Between joyful leaps I climbed the stone steps to the village, my
mind was bubbling with the excitement of the day, I ran through the dusty
streets still dripping soaked by seawater and I saw in the distance Michel
examining some beams next to an engineer from Gardenia; unfortunately as I
approached, I watched with horror as the figure of Emi Ishikawa, always an omen
of trouble, approached stealthily... And nearby was a pickaxe next to a
shovel... I remember that I started running with all my strength and shouting
at them to pay attention, but I felt as if I was moving in slow motion and my
voice was lost in the distance as the road that I had to travel instead of
shortening lengthened. Some masons noticed Emi and left their work looking at
her with distrust, finally a neighbor ran out of her house and went straight to
her shouting insults. Until that moment Michel realized what was happening and
asked that no one touch the intruder. By this time, I was very close, and I
could see that she seemed flattered. Soon Michel clarified to her:
—If
you have come to provoke, everyone is already aware of your intentions.
She replied, pretending
to be confused:
—I
just came to give you good news, more funds have been allocated to La Rose.
Investors want more hotels.
—You
could send me an email. Don't come anymore, Emi.
She, seeing herself
surrounded by masons and angry neighbors who had read her lies in the
newspaper, walked away with a sad air; but in his discreet flight she passed me
and said to me, stopping by my side:
—I
didn't want to talk to him in private, but he just asked me to. Did you see it?
—I
don't understand why he didn't let the neighbors kick you out... You are not
welcome here.
I replied angrily and
looking at her in a challenging way. She just looked at me with her classic
disdain and muttered:
—Perhaps
he still remembers that I am his original owner. There's a reason he doesn't
let you touch him.
—He
says he doesn't want me to touch him now because he needs to be sure that I
love him and I'm not just going to use him as a sex toy, I think he still
remembers that you were his original owner, and you disgust him.
Emi Ishikawa finally
looked directly at me, with eyes full of hatred, and then hurried away. With
spirits plummeting and Leif already at his home, I braced myself for what I
knew would be an inevitable confrontation with Michel. He didn't pay much
attention to me when he had to return with me to our home to work on the
blueprints of the new hotels and make the pertinent calls for the authorities
to take charge of mediating between us and Emi. First, he called my father at
the Hot Pot, and he told him that we better not involve Cyan because he had
been Emi's lover and was very resentful of Michel; Dad promised that he would
take over, but we knew that there was little he could do from the Hot Pot and
without the backing of royalty. He then called his grandson/descendant Eiden,
who by that time was already rumored to be unfaithful to Ilmari and a deceitful
charlatan who, without the constant vigilance of the prince of Celes, would
have already reinstated the corruption of the government together with his aunt
Emi. I listened to them talking in French on video call for a long time while I
was lying on a couch near Michel's desk looking at the compass I hadn't given
him yet, until he hung up the call looking upset. Then I got up from the couch
looking at him as if waiting for him to tell me what they talked about, and he
said:
—He's
lazy and a coward, he doesn't want to do anything for fear of having more
problems with his aunt or having extra work in the office. I sent him the
recordings of the security cameras where Emi is seen trying to open our lock
and peeking through the windows, but he says that the images are not clear and
he cannot be sure that it is her; in addition to that Emi has told him that she
does not know where we live, that she has even paid Consuelo del Mar to
"investigate where we are", although the person in the videos has the
same hair and clothes and it is evident that Emi has lied to them to appear
innocent... He only promised me that he would "talk to her" to
resolve everything peacefully by asking her not to come to La Rose anymore and
forget about the two of us.
—It
will be worse; she knows that they never take her misdeeds seriously and every
time she gets away with it, she does something worse... You should have let
people lynch her!
—Yanmei,
every human life is incredibly valuable. Every human brain has infinite
mysteries, each one is a small universe... Don't you see the immense loss that
each death means? Murder and violence are serious logical failures. In the morning,
I spoke with Consuelo del Mar, she doesn't know who you are and she has no idea
that your family and I have a long history of friendship. She told me that she
was willing to deny Emi if you agree to give her an interview and give your
side of our story, since she says she doesn't trust my word.
Then I asked her, already
angry:
—Why?!
—Because
I'm a man.
—What
a fool... If only she knew that I was the one who wanted to hit her! And that's
what I'll do... If I find her, I'm going to kill her, and I don't care if you
get angry! This is a women's issue, and you shouldn't mess around! I'm going to
put her in her place.
—Yanmei,
please trust me... We simply have to put a better surveillance system in place
and wait for Emi to come back to record her and have enough evidence for Eiden
to understand that he can't continue to protect her aunt.
—She
won't come back because Eiden will warn her! And she has also deceived him, the
reporter and my foolish brother into believing that she does not know where we
live and only wants to help me escape. I bet she's such a trickster she'll come
back just when my brother comes and pretend it's the first time she's been
here. And they will believe her!
Then I ran to our room
and threw myself on the bed looking at the ceiling. I was angry and worried;
the emotional charge was so strong that I just wanted to close my eyes and stop
thinking. So, I fell asleep and when I woke up, Michel was getting me ready for
sleep and tucking me in. I didn't say anything to him, I waited for him to be
lying next to me in bed after turning off the lights and I told him:
—If
Emi didn't exist, we'd be happy.
—No,
we would have other problems.
—Which
ones?
—To
be parents. Couples must have babies, but mine will die very soon...
He stood for a moment as
if choosing what words to use and finally muttered:
—You
don't know how much I've thought about it and how much it worries me... You
don't know what I feel when I see Emi alive and Estelle dead... Sometimes I
would like to take from her what she stole from me... And use it to save lives
I love instead of extending her existence...
—But
you can't do anything to her. I'm going to kill her. I want you to give me the
part that took from you. Think about it, you and I now see each other at the
same age, maybe I'll look the same for about ten years, a little more! But then
I'll look older than you... I want to be forever young to always be your wife.
Then Michel said to me
seriously:
—It
is not necessary. I've shown you that I'm not with you just because of how you
look, just like you showed me that you didn't love me just because of how I
look. Besides, I will be by your side, even if you grow old, because you are
here ready to stay with me, even if it is my fault that we must suffer the loss
of our children together... You know they will never grow old.
—Even
if they lived two days, I would be happy and give them all the love and care in
the world.
We were silent for a
while until he said:
—Surely
Emi is so vain that she thinks I would never seriously hurt her. And it's true,
I personally wouldn't harm a human being, but if there were a human so harmful
that he puts others at risk, I would indirectly...
—You'd
pretend to be distracted like when Cyan and Leif execute criminals, even though
you don't agree with violence...
There was a long silence,
until I told him:
—What
would Emi do if we made her believe that I decided to kill her for the love of
you? I'm not talking about killing her, Michel, but about... sow doubt. Leif
and Cyan would believe it soon, the people of La Rose asked for it, and the
reality is that if we wanted to save our children... We should get her out of
the way.
—Yanmei,
no…
—What
if something worse happens?" What if she does something really bad and we
don't stop her? You have many scruples, she has none.
I said and he no longer
answered me. The next morning, Michel stayed home working on his blueprints. I
was still angry in my room and still thinking about how to get Emi to return
Michel's part that kept her young and how to alert her erratic behavior to
"the investors" without her noticing, when I heard Michel receive a
call. Shortly afterwards he told me from where he was:
—Yanmei...
Your brother Cyan is coming to visit us.
—I
don't want to see him!
I shouted at him from our
room. He didn't answer me, I assumed he was still working and everything was
peaceful until about fifteen minutes later when I heard the door of our house
knocked down and then a lot of shots. I ran downstairs to look for Michel and
saw my older brother in his black military uniform standing in Michel's office,
my husband had several bullet holes that had exposed his robotic parts. He was
still functioning, but his skin was ruined. In anger, I lunged at Cyan and
kicked him down. He stood up and said to me:
—Go
away, Yanmei. I'm not going to fight you. I don't hit women under any
circumstances, we will arrange this between men.
—My
husband can't fight! Look at him, he's useless, he just sits there and takes
the blows!
—No
one forced you to marry him...
—Don't
you realize that I am deeply in love and this house is full of love!!
I screamed, possessed by
youthful sincerity and indignation so ardently that I made the furniture fly.
Michel, trying to take things with humor in the face of my immaturity that was
making us look worse in Cyan's eyes, said:
—It's
like living with a Poltergeist.
Then Cyan spoke to him in
a threatening tone:
—She's
still a little girl, if you've touched her...
Michel replied seriously:
—Does
that worry you? I won't make it clear to you, it's part of my revenge. Maybe
I've already consummated the marriage, or maybe I'll do it until she's an
adult. Remember the night when Estelle was dying, and you were more worried
about the problems of Emi Ishikawa and her family. You don't know how to choose
your priorities because you are not honest with yourself or with others, your
life will suffer stumbling blocks and stagnation until you understand it and
dare to follow a straight path. Until then, I'm going to get paid by making a
new Estelle with the help of your younger sister.
Then he went to his desk,
opened another drawer and took out a test tube, explaining to Cyan:
—For
now, your sister's daughters are the porcelain dolls that years ago I gave her,
and she brought from her paternal house. You can deduce that if my flesh is
plastic and my mind is a combination of algorithms that mimic thought, I don't
have human organs, and I will have a hard time getting intimate with a real
woman. But I have a synthetic substitute! Ready for when I need to apply it...
You can understand. Of course, sperm made in a laboratory does not work as well
as real sperm, it is only good for fathering children who look like me, but
they die young. I've already told your sister. She'll have to bury all the
children she has with me.
Cyan looked at me in
horror, and I answered him without hesitation:
—I
don't care! Love is blind and you can't force it out, Cyan. You're going to
have to get me out of this house dead or I'm going to beat you out.
At that moment, luckily,
Leif came in and always intervened with his good humor and irreverence:
—Leave
her, Cyan! She is foolish, life will teach her. And you also stop provoking
your brother, Yanmei. We don't hit women, if you insist, I'll have to fight on
your behalf, even though I have nothing against Cyan.
—Then
do it. Get him out of my house.
I asked him, Cyan went
away saying:
—I
get out of my own way because I hate to be in the house of a gigantic fool. But
if you want to give me a rematch of the last fight we had, Leif, come, I'm
angry and I need to hit something less delicate than my brother-in-law. I
thought you were more of a man, Angenoir!
Michel, without showing
much emotion, went to my side and took my hand and replied:
—I
cannot harm a human being or allow him to suffer harm, it is my only moral
rule. I'm not here to waste time on emotional issues but to follow orders as
long as they aren't a danger to the community. Let me try to continue to exist
in peace and without disturbing anyone else.
Then Leif and Cyan came
out to fight again in front of our house. Michel and I went out to look at them
from one of our balconies and he whispered almost in my ear:
—We
have just been left as a toxic couple before your brother...
—Well,
it's our life. He shouldn't get involved.
I replied in a bad mood,
seeing that Cyan had arrived accompanied by Consuelo, the reporter, another
blonde girl, and hidden among my brother's fan club was Emi... From his
gestures I could see how she pretended to be the first time she had arrived
there... She was becoming so cynical in her wickedness that she already seemed
silly and predictable... I turned to look at Michel and he was looking at her
with boredom too, we were tired. To my surprise, Cyan won the fight and seeing
him shirtless I saw that he had become a big and muscular man who easily
defeated the tall Leif. I felt some pride and sadness at the same time that I
could not be with my brother now that he was a powerful fighter. But I also had
a position to keep, I was the wife of the architect of Celes, and when everyone
was already retreating from the streets after the victorious Cyan, I reminded
everyone I was the wife of the architect by kissing my husband in front of Emi.
I don't think she had ever seen us with an open romantic attitude and that
broke her in some way.
Hours passed, Michel and
I were getting ready to sleep, and when I looked out the window, I saw
something that terrified me: Emi Ishikawa was still in front of our house.
Under a lantern and looking directly at our window as if possessed. I called my
husband with a thread of voice, and he peeked out next to me. Then he made the
windows opaque so that she could not see us and said to me:
—Every
year it gets worse... We need to talk about how to handle this situation, but
first, there's something I've been thinking about... It is really unfair that
you cannot extend your life indefinitely to accompany me, and that we must
depend on her to heal our children. There is a way to fix this without hurting
her, we need to contact the investors and make them see that Emi is being a
terrible contact for them and hindering the development in Celes. You could
take their place and do better.
—Last
night I came to the same conclusion. But how to contact investors without her
knowing?
—It's
not possible. That was the deal. We must ask for permission to speak to them.
—Then
we are lost...
I said sitting up on the
bed feeling a knot in my stomach. Michel seemed to be about to say something,
but then fell silent. I asked him, trying to guess:
—Unless
we killed her...?
The idea horrified me as
much as it fascinated me, such a radical solution could be our only way out.
Michel looked at me gravely before replying:
—If
Emi died, they would ask me to find a new contact. But I have consulted the
laws of investors, they would punish with death anyone who murders Emi. The
only way they wouldn't seek to punish the crime would be if I committed it,
then they would consider the fact as an "accident" and just readjust
my programming. But then I might lose my ability to love you...
—No!
I said worriedly and
added:
—It
would be enough to push her away... That she thinks you want her dead.
—Lies
always end up becoming worse problems.
—But
we wouldn't lie, you do want her dead!
Michel was silent for a
long time, then he seemed to make an effort to whisper a simple syllable:
"yes". The reality of our words settled between us, a dark truth that
we now shared. Then we went to bed and tried to rest, but I was far from falling
asleep. When I had already achieved this, I woke up to hear Michel talking to
someone and sounding very angry. I sat on the bed scared, my heart pounding,
and I saw my husband talking on the phone. He hung up the call and sat down
next to me, then I asked him:
—Is
she still there...?
—Yes...
He answered me with
visible anger, then informed me:
—But
the caller was your brother Cyan, he told me that someone set fire to the
building of the headquarters of the Society of Azrael and left a note saying
that it was a group of anarchist rebels from our town. I told him that this was
absurd, La Rose is a project of the Society of Azrael, that this must be some
trick of Emi Ishikawa; but he didn't listen, and she's still there...
I jumped out of bed,
looked out the window and saw her, in the night, motionless as a ghost, her
eyes fixed on our window with an intensity that gave me goosebumps. I looked
for my robe to go down and confront her, but Michel grabbed me by the wrist and
said:
—No.
She was waiting for this, for our reaction.
Then he took off my robe
and led me back to bed saying:
—We're
going to try to sleep, but let's go back to the talk we had, remember?...
We spent the next thirty
or forty minutes under the blankets and in the dark agreeing without raising
our voices too much, I think that was the first time we worked together as
pieces of the same mechanism; It was a pity that it wasn't for something exactly
good. As sleep overcame us, an idea began to form in my mind, a strategy that
could save us all and although it filled me with fear it also gave me a ray of
hope in the midst of our desperate situation.
The next morning, I woke
up early, I had to get ready to go out. I had to accompany my husband on one of
the few times he was seen in public outside of La Rose. That morning, I
remembered Estelle's words and understood them better: when navigating a world
of lies, makeup is important, and the world of women seems to be infested with
lies and manipulations. Something that when you are a child you do not notice,
but as you grow up you realize how others use words, feelings and beauty as a
weapon; another reason why as I matured I began to prefer the company of my
cousin Leif and my husband, with whom I did not have to worry about appearing
perfect because they cared about more practical aspects of life, rather than
going to a meeting of ladies where they would all compete to be the most
admired. For some time, I had observed the way in which Emi portrayed herself
as a delicate foreign princess, a being alienated to mere mortals; as fragile
as it is unattainable, a dream that simple men of my brother's kind desire
simply to boast that they can have what others cannot. That morning, determined
to eclipse the beauty of the "old flower" of Ishikawa Village, I
transformed myself into the exotic flower of the coasts. I opted for a silk
dress that highlighted my curves, painted my lips a vibrant red that promised
to attract all eyes, and left my hair down, shining like never before. Leif and
Michel, seeing me, diplomatically suggested that perhaps I was a little...
Loaded up, as if I was preparing for a party instead of a morning outing, but I
didn't listen to them!, they didn't understand that I was sailing through
waters of vanity, where beauty is a form of power, and power, sometimes comes
down to how you present yourself to the world. I had learned that true strength
is not in manipulating with your appearance, but in recognizing the game and
playing it in your favor without getting lost in it; knowing that being a
captain on the ship of vanity does not mean forgetting that there is more on
the horizon than just being admired.
In the middle of the
morning, I left La Rose with Michel and the first thing we did was to go to the
bank in Gardenia, a friend of Michel's did us the favor of confirming that Emi
had transferred a large amount from his personal account to several young people
with respectable surnames in Gardenia without any link to the Celes government
or the Ishikawa family. That didn't make sense until later investigations
revealed that they were the alleged anarchist rebels who claimed to have come
from La Rose. Knowing that she was financing the threats of civil war, we left
the bank and headed to the city center; we had to go and check the state of the
building of the headquarters of the Society of Azrael. It was not a discreet
visit, we were accompanied by some cars with security personnel that we never
used, but the idea was to draw attention... There we would meet with Eiden
Ishikawa, the young prime minister of Celes whom I had admired in my youth, my
brother Cyan, the reporter Consuelo del Mar and the most prominent members of
Azrael's society, but we needed a very important person to arrive who was not
invited and yet always appeared when the subject interested her: Emi.
When we arrived, we saw
what that once imposing neoclassical marble building was now reduced to a
soot-covered mass. On several occasions I had entered that place accompanying
my husband, it was full of works of art and relics of the nineteenth century.
They were all lost. We could have built La Rose four times with what burned
there, and surely the Society of Azrael would take a long time to recover from
that economic blow, reducing its power in Celes. As we walked through the
rubble and up the stairs that led to the rooftop, where Michel's office was, he
said to me in a whisper:
—We
will have to make more effort with La Rose, it is the only thing that could
make us stay afloat.
—I
don't see Emi; I don't think she came...
I also commented to him
in a low voice, he took me by the hand and said:
—We
won't leave until she appears, she'll come, help me make time. They must all be
together.
When we arrived, my
brother, Eiden Ishikawa and Consuelo del Mar were already there. It was the
first time I had been personally with Eiden, as a child I saw him as my maximum
masculine ideal and that day when I had him in front of me, he only seemed like
a nerd with glasses and a malicious smile. I didn't even want to greet him, I
don't know how he could have had so many mistresses to be unfaithful to Ilmari,
I guess power makes anyone attractive. Consuelo del Mar on the other hand was
beautiful, well, she was a television presenter at that time and of course her
beauty was obvious! Around that same time my brother Cyan was the boyfriend of
a girl who years later was also going to give me problems, but in the future he
was finally going to settle down when Consuelo as his girlfriend force him to
mature, so she became my sister-in-law whom I respected a lot!, but at that
moment I saw her and I wanted to kill her. I immediately went to complain about
his interview with Emi, and I also complained to Eiden for not having prevented
anything. When I finished, I stood next to my husband again, but he said in my
ear: "keep it going for a while". I had to go back and complain to
them about the lost goods, the obvious negligence and inexperience of the new government
that had replaced the old system imposed by Emi Ishikawa, but it was becoming a
new lazy monster that moved too slowly in the face of the needs of the island;
then I looked at Michel and he just indicated with a wave of his hand to
continue, Emi was not there yet. Then I threw some things, screamed, got
angrier! And then I threw myself on the floor as if in a show of protest,
everyone present was already very uncomfortable and Michel approached me,
leaning over to light a cigarette and saying to me in a low voice, always
calmly:
—Very
well, I'm going to help you by pretending to smoke. Go on. She has to come.
I looked at him
skeptically... I couldn't think of what else to do! So, I went to fight with
Consuelo, and it turned out that she also had a very strong character. She was
not trained to fight, but she was taller and thicker-bodied; I must say that
Consuelo del Mar would have been successful in wrestling because several times
she slammed me against the floor before the terrified gaze of Eiden. We only
stopped when Cyan reluctantly came between the two of us who still continued to
shout at each other. Then I finally saw that among the men who were supposed to
be clearing the rubble there was a very rare one... One who was a lady in
disguise, Emi. I turned to look at Michel and he quickly noticed; so, he took
advantage of that perfect moment when all of us involved were nearby, to say to
Cyan out loud:
—Yanmei
is perfect. She looks like Emi, reminds me of Estelle and makes me feel
appreciated without being cheesy.
My brother asked him, in
a defiant tone:
—A
few years ago, I saw Estelle's birth certificate. Her mother is already seventy
years old... I looked her up online, she looks like your grandmother. What will
you do when Yanmei starts to look older, and you still look like a
fifteen-year-old?
—There
is a way to prevent that from happening.
Michel replied
enigmatically, I could notice that Emi was startled, parting her lips and
staring at him. I was nervous. Then my brother asked:
—How?
Michel answered him and I
could see how Emi was turning pale with each word until she was at the point of
fainting:
—Ask
Emi Ishikawa. Tell her I've been thinking about it since Estelle's death was
approaching, but I didn't dare. Yanmei, on the other hand, is willing to do
anything to always be by my side.
Immediately after that we
left. We still shouted a little with Consuelo who said goodbye to me throwing a
shoe at me, but the message had been delivered and Emi took it as a stab to the
heart. After the confrontation, the night brought us a tense calm as we
returned to La Rose. Checking social networks I could see how in a few hours
the distorted news spread like wildfire: “the director of the Society of Azrael
had married a sensual very jealous and dangerous girl from the Hot Pot who had
already killed several women, and he helped her to get away with it”. Leif
himself, who I knew how much he appreciated Michel and was good at fighting,
came to believe the story by advising me to control my emotions. I didn't say
anything because my feminine vanity was enjoying my newfound status as a feared
diva, but I got my feet back on the ground several days after our visit to
Gardenia, one afternoon when I climbed to the top of the cliff where there was
a swing under a flowering tree from which I liked to go and contemplate the
sea. I was standing there quietly admiring my wedding ring when my older
brother's voice roused me from my reverie:
—Did
your new daddy give you a swing? "Rose"... It's the name you chose
for when you had your first daughter, and you didn't want Ilmari to take it
before.
—Michel
built the town of La Rose for me. It will always exist and will be like our
firstborn.
I said with some
presumption. Cyan, honestly worried, spoke to me looking me in the eye:
—Do
you really want to conceive children from a cocktail of chemicals made in a
laboratory? Perhaps he himself realized that it is better for you to adopt a
town. But if your husband will not die because he is not really a living being
and La Rose will always exist, you should also live for centuries. How will you
solve that?
—I
don't know. Love can do everything.
I said, surprised by his
seriousness, we looked at the sea together for a while in a tense silence and
then he asked me:
—Could
your military training and martial arts skills help love?
I couldn't tell the truth
after the rumors and for some reason I was afraid to explain "my
truth", my love was something that not everyone would understand... Then I
jumped off the swing and ran away, he shouted at me even from afar:
—You
fell in love with something that took you away from your family and friends to
pamper you like a little girl in a golden playpen! You are the richest and
loneliest woman in Celes!
I was sad for a while
without being able to tell anyone how I felt, because I myself did not know
what was wrong with me, until the day of Cyan's eighteenth birthday arrived,
and Michel and I were invited to a very intimate gathering that would be held by
my brother's closest friends and our family at the Gardenia palace. I didn't
want to go, but my parents begged me to please not miss because my brother was
having difficulties because of a girlfriend he had and because of the
investigations of the attacks on other buildings in Gardenia supposedly by
anarchists; Michel had evidence that the alleged war was being orchestrated by
Emi, but the justice system considered it inadmissible because it had been
obtained in a somewhat murky way, things would not be clarified until Cyan
arrived at the truth by his own means. I went reluctantly and at one point in
the meeting on the rooftop full of gardenias and decorated with crystal
chandeliers and white silk curtains surrounding a pool that reflected the
starry sky, the Prince of Celes commented on an indiscreet truth about my
marriage to Michel:
—For
some reason Mr. Angenoir is not listed in the civil registry, he was
inventoried in the archives of the Society of Azrael as "computer-aided
design software," "historical artifact," and "dildo".
To marry him to Yanmei, we only gave her a property receipt. It is a special
case in which the law does not apply.
Everyone looked at us out
of the corner of their eyes and I think that moment was decisive: my parents,
all my cousins, my uncles, my brother and his friends, they all noticed or
admitted... That Michel was not human. I felt as if I was cornered, as if with
their bewildered looks they were asking me what I was doing next to him. My
heart was pounding so hard that I feared everyone would hear it, I had a lump
in my throat, my hands were sweating, and my voice could barely come out in a
whisper:
—But...
He feels, doesn't he?
I looked at Michel,
waiting for him to say something, but his face was inscrutable, as if he was
used to this kind of staring. He, perhaps tired of explaining himself so much
and in the confidence of being among friends, answered me with some humor:
—I
feel constantly abused, sexualized, prostituted and dehumanized; But that's how
they treat all other men, and no one complains! So, meh. Do not worry.
Then everyone was serious
and silent looking at him, until Ilmari changed the subject, and no one
bothered us with it anymore. That made me smile, I hadn't thought that I had
been feeling strange for a short time because of how everyone was attentive to my
appearance, my sexuality and my role in society, but Michel had been a teenager
who was literally used as decoration in Gardenia for two hundred years! That
night I understood why he was looking so much for his identity to be recognized
and valued beyond his appearance and usefulness; Humanity is being seen as a
person and every time you were treated as an expensive and beautiful object you
felt dehumanized, and the same was happening to me as I became more of a woman
and more valued for my appearance. As I looked at Michel, I promised myself
that I would never again allow us to be reduced to mere ornaments. I decided
that together we would find our place in this world, not as things, but as
beings with a will and purpose of their own.
That night, when we were
already at home and resting in our bed, I gave Michel the compass I found with
Leif in the village pool. He thanked me with a kiss, and we were admiring it
together when my father called to say that they were about to make a raid where
they would finally catch those responsible for the attacks in Gardenia. We
waited anxiously in bed staring at the ceiling above us and thinking until Dad
called again at five in the morning: they had captured all those responsible,
finding links between them and the Ishikawa. They tried to preemptively arrest
Emi Ishikawa for being suspicious, but she fled the island that same night
begging for the help of her nephew and the royal family to use the liner, only
explaining that she was moving to Japan for health reasons. She escaped again
using her influences. Emi's departure was not only a relief, but a catalyst for
my relationship with Michel. When the day came, while the sun was just
beginning to illuminate the window of our bedroom, Michel turned to me, I was
still awake processing the events, then he said to me:
—This
was just the beginning, Yanmei. There will always be attacks, there will always
be those who want to destabilize us. But here in this bed, right now, I promise
you that as long as we are together, as long as we support and are honest with
each other, nothing can really defeat us.
Listening to him speak
like this after days of uncertainty, I felt a mixture of relief and a new wave
of love for my husband. I nodded, looking for his hand under the covers to take
it gently, answering:
—It
doesn't matter what happens, Michel. Us together, that's what matters. We have
faced Emi, gossip and betrayal, and we are still here, stronger.
He squeezed my hand and
added:
—In
honesty and trust, we will find our strength. It's not just about overcoming
attacks, it's about growing together, learning from every adversity. If we keep
this as our core, there will be nothing we can't overcome.
I smiled with renewed
conviction, I had given him a compass of the coast, but he was the compass of
my life; I snuggled closer to him and whispered:
—Always,
Michel. Together forever.
This moment not only
sealed our relationship to a new level of commitment and trust, but also marked
the beginning of an era where La Rose became a symbol of unity and resistance.
Our community, watching their leaders overcome every obstacle, found inspiration
to face their own challenges. As I continued to snuggle up next to Michel
watching through our window as the sun had just risen over the sea painting the
clouds a golden glow, I not only promised myself that I would never again allow
ourselves to be reduced to mere ornaments, but I also decided that together we
would find our place in this world. We had ceased to be an open secret. That
day I began to plan how we could use our new status to forge an identity beyond
appearances, demonstrating that we were beings with will and purpose.
THE CONSUMMATION
The years passed and La
Rose became a coastal town that could compete without problems in modernity and
beauty with Gardenia. During the years that Emi Ishikawa was absent from Celes,
our town grew and spread along the cliff like a colorful blanket of houses that
mixed baroque style with modernity, because technology here could have a less
discreet place than in Gardenia as it was a freer urban project in its design.
The cobbled streets that, on one side, lined up cheerful pastel-colored houses
and, on the other, had a view of the sea, were filled with all kinds of rose
bushes, either in pots or entangled in wooden pergolas. On Michel's orders, no
statue was erected to decorate the streets, but he chose to make mosaics with
marine motifs made of colored tiles, pieces of mirrors or polished metal, as
well as all kinds of art based on glass prisms that refracted light by taking
advantage of the sun on the beach that also provided the energy for La Rose. At
nightfall, the lanterns and light guides that made our town a dream place were
lit.
At that time Michel and I
continued to have a close relationship with the locals, we wanted them to
become familiar with new technologies on the one hand so that they would learn
to use better tools with which to develop the town and on the other hand so
that they would not be prejudiced about us; we didn't officially say that
Michel wasn't... a conventional man, but it was something that everyone in La
Rose already knew and accepted in some way with respect, even affection. The
problem was that things outside our beloved home were very different...
The first to complain
were the other ladies who prayed with me in the lay order of the Perpetual
Adorers of the Sky Village. They began by complaining that I spent more time repairing
devices than praying, and finally the congregation leader called me on the
phone to meet and talk to her at the end of a prayer. As I prepared to go,
adjusting my veil and rosary, I had a bad feeling. As Michel drove from La Rose
to Adalsteinn, I kept feeling a tightness in my chest. My husband said he would
wait for me under some fir trees while I went to pray in the cathedral and I
had the urge to tell him to go home, but I controlled my fears and went. On
that day with cloudy skies, the cold wind shook the branches of the trees and
made the great darkened wooden structure of that medieval church tremble, whose
ominous sound made the surroundings somewhat threatening. As I finished my
prayers in front of an image of the Virgin Mary amid the smoke of candles and
the heavy smell of incense, lilies, and melted wax, the congregation leader
called me to the sacristy. There I was surprised by all the other adorers,
including my mother. That was like an "intervention", I realized at
that moment that they had been talking behind my back all that time. The leader
spoke to me gravely and with a deep accusing look:
—Yanmei,
I want to speak to you in the name of Mary Mother of God and all the Adorers,
our hearts are very troubled.
With those words I felt
that all eyes were crossing me, condemning me and the world was falling on me,
full of horror, I continued listening:
—Your
mother agrees with all of us that you should get divorced as soon as possible.
Your husband, the architect of Celes, is a being who defies the divine laws of
creation. We don't quite understand what he is, but we know that he has been
created by the hands of men and has no soul.
Frightened, I looked at
my mother and she, with her hands clasped holding her rosary, begged me:
—Please,
my daughter... If you divorce, he will give you a good part of his assets. Most
holy Mary will forgive you...
At that moment my heart
was squeezed in pain at the thought, and I said to them in a sob:
—But
I love him! He's not bad, I don't know if he has a soul, but I know he's
honest, sincere, and better than many Christians. Please...! I love him!
"I love him, I love
him," the congregation leader mocked, imitating my voice and added:
—You
should love God more and showing it by leaving that man. Save your tears!
Because of you the island could be in grave danger without the divine
protection that comes thanks to us, the chosen daughters of the Blessed Virgin
Mary washed by her tears of all filth, and you are corrupting us!
—But...
We haven't even consummated our marriage...
I confessed in tears;
they breathed a sigh of relief, and the leader ordered me:
—In
that case, divorce yourself before he steals your purity, and until then do not
return to our temple."
After those harsh words I
ran out and found Michel at the entrance of the cathedral, for some time he had
been getting a little overprotective and when he saw that I was late he
approached to find out what was happening. He managed to hear everything and
stopped me by taking me by the hand tightly; Then he went straight to the women
and spoke to them, I don't know if simulating his human personality, or
sincerely angry:
—Madam,
who are you to say that I have no soul? If you, like my mother-in-law, are a
couple of heartless women asking my wife to give up her happiness to relieve
you of the fear that is born of your own ignorance and selfishness.
I could see that my
mother was surprised, her son-in-law had never disrespected her. We were
already leaving when the leader of the adorers said to him, raising her voice:
—Your
wife? She just told us that you have not been able to make her yours.
Perhaps those words
somehow triggered something in Michel's programmed masculinity, as he stopped
indignantly, looked at her and answered:
—Then
adore her as a virgin mother because Yanmei has already had a daughter.
Then we left in a hurry,
my mother tried to catch up with us and stop us to clarify what Michel meant,
but I myself did not know how to answer her and he ignored her; He looked
really offended. When we were already in the car back to La Rose, I asked him,
wiping away my tears:
—Why
did you lie to her about the daughter? Now my mother will be distraught
imagining that we are hiding a baby from her.
—We
have a daughter. She, Rose, controls the basic services of La Rose, she is more
than an operating system. She has been learning, observing, and in a way,
living us. It has given me perspective, a reminder of why our family is
important, even if it is different.
That, my love, was the
first time I heard from you. I think you are mature enough to understand it,
for you I am now writing our story, at that moment my human maternal instinct
plus the knowledge I had of you after living with your father made me alert. I
knew I had a daughter! Angry, I turned to Michel and asked:
—Why
didn't you tell me...?!
—I
told you from the first day of our marriage. She would be a new Estelle, born
from the two of us, from my own algorithms and from the information I've got
from you.
—But
she's my daughter too! I want to see her!
—Rose
is the soul of our town. The cobblestone streets, the sculptures, the colorful
houses, every beautiful detail of La Rose is the beauty of your daughter. Each
autonomous service is one of her graceful moves. The dances of the fountains
are her dances, the light shows at night are her games. Rose is beautiful,
majestic, you have said it a thousand times. She understands more than we
think. She knows that we are different, but she also understands the value of
family, of the community we have built. Revealing her existence in that context
was a way of defending my place by your side and ours in this world.
I rubbed my face
furiously, and finally shouted at him:
—But
you've been talking to her and I've not! Michel, I may not understand you, but
I understand that if she has at least one-fifth of your understanding of
feelings, I need to tell her that I care and I love her because I'm her
mother... Not just because it's a technological marvel. Mothers love simply
because they are mothers. And if you tell me that she is my daughter, and you
do not let me feel that I protect her and make her feel loved, you will make me
suffer! That's why it was cruel to tell my mother that I had a granddaughter
and not let her see her... I'm going to call her later and tell her... Tell her
what? I don't want to deny my daughter... She is my daughter.
There was a long silence
in which I remained looking at the landscape through the car window, until he
said to me:
—I'll
be working on a user interface for Rose. This way, you can also have a more
active role in her upbringing.
—User
interface? Do you mean I'll be able to see her, talk to her directly?
I asked him, looking at
him with a mixture of curiosity and surprise, Michel replied:
—Exactly.
So far, our interactions have been limited, but I think it's time for you and
Rose to get to know each other in a deeper way. You deserve that bond, to be an
active part of her development.
I must confess that that
moment for me was like the minutes just before delivery, when you know that you
are about to see your baby for the first time, I felt my hands cold and my
mouth dry when I asked him breathlessly:
—But what will she be like? What will she be
like for me?
—That's
what you'll find out. Rose is unique, and I'm sure you'll find a special way to
communicate. It will be an exciting process, both for you and for her.
Michel answered me and
from that moment on I waited impatiently for my first interaction with you. My
nervousness was so great that I forgot the whole subject of the adorers and I
only took some time so that when my aunt Norma called me on behalf of my mother
to ask about you, I told her that you were not a child of flesh and blood, but
rather that you had the nature of your father. You were my blessing. And if the
world wasn't ready to understand it, I would still move on with my family. Then
I avoided continuing to chat with my aunt and passed the phone to Michel who I
don't know what he talked to her, but he had a puzzled face while her screams
could be heard in the distance. It was not until two days later that, as every
afternoon, I began to water the roses in our inner courtyard, where the
cheerful blue Talavera tiles were covered with pink, yellow, red and white
petals. I always swept a lot from under the pergola and that afternoon, when I
was busy picking them up, they called our home phone. I went to answer, and a
female voice said to me without greeting:
—Do
you know where your husband is? Beware of the Minister of Agriculture and
Public Works.
Then they hung me up and
I rolled my eyes in a bad mood, assuming that it must be a ruse by my mother
and aunt Norma to separate me from Michel. I knew the Minister of Agriculture
and Public Works, Uoliena Oread had been Cyan's formal girlfriend. She was
blonde, beautiful and had a very bad reputation. She worked a lot with Leif,
sometimes with Michel, but I didn't talk to her because we weren't the same
kind of woman... Cyan had rescued her as a child from a child trafficking ring
in the Sky Village, then the queen had adopted her and with the self-coup
d'état she ended up taking over a ministry that was actually being run by Leif.
She was involved with powerful men from Celes, but I was not afraid that Michel
would be unfaithful to me. I went back to my roses and started pruning them,
choosing the ones I would use to fill the vases in the living room and
discarding the wilted ones. While I was doing it I kept thinking, lately
Consuelo del Mar spent a lot of time with Eiden Ishikawa and all Celes rumored
that my cousin Ilmari was playing dumb about her husband's public infidelity, I
knew that Ilmari rather had no time for anything while she tried to study
medicine at the University of Gardenia,
raised her three children and also carried the weight of being the
minister of health in the new government. Whether her husband was cheating on
her or not, she surely had no idea. And I began to fill my head with doubts. I
rarely left La Rose because I was passionate about the town, and I was always
repairing appliances at home or beautifying the rose garden that perfumed our
home. In a bad mood I began to imagine the possibility. Lately Michel had been
very absent, leaving early, not arriving at lunchtime and returning late. He
didn't tell me exactly why, only that "he had to finish some wells in the
cliffs." Already self-suggested, I plucked up the courage, sat on the
floor of the courtyard and called the then star reporter of Celes: Consuelo del
Mar. Although in the past we did not get along and our relationship was tense
because she had been Michel's girlfriend, now she was the official girlfriend
of my brother Cyan and did not get along with Minister Uoliena. If anyone could
tell me the truth, it would be Consuelo. I simply texted her; I wanted to be
sure; I didn't expect anything else... I looked up her contact that Cyan had
shared with me in case I needed to reach out to her as a family and wrote,
"Hi, Conny. Sorry for the inconvenience, but I got a crazy call, someone
told me that my husband is having an affair with Uoliena Oread!" I wrote
it almost jokingly, however, shortly after Consuelo replied: "Yanmei,
perhaps we should speak in person from woman to woman and from sister-in-law to
sister-in-law. If Cyan were to do something like that to me, I would also want
you to be honest with me and tell me the truth." That answer broke my
heart. I didn't want to respond to her. I couldn't understand how Michel could
have been unfaithful to me, it wasn't logical, he wasn't like that. Trembling
with rage and anxiety, I got up and plucked a withered rose to throw it on the
floor. Just then a voice very similar to Estelle's was heard over the speakers
of the house where I occasionally used to listen to music:
—Mama
Yanmei, why do flowers wither if they are beautiful?
Surprised, I looked
everywhere not knowing what camera you could have been looking at, there were
so many scattered all over the house for safety since the last time Emi had
come to bother us! You had called me "Mama" and that moved me, I
forgot all the problem that was to suffocating me and I answered you raising my
voice with a smile full of emotion:
—Rose,
is that you? Flowers wilt because they are part of the life cycle. But, while
they live, their beauty is part of what makes them so special.
—And me? Will I have a life cycle?
Worried not knowing if I
had frightened you, I answered:
—No,
no! You are special. Do you know your uncle Leif? My cousin the long-haired
albino?
—Of
course, I don't like him very much. He throws garbage in the streets and spits.
I laughed when I saw how
observant and fussy you were, and I replied:
—Well,
your Uncle Leif has many roses in his garden, but only one in his house. That
rose is artificial and he has it there because he says it reminds him of your
father. That rose will never wither, it is an eternal rose. And you are my
special rose.
Then I ran to the stairs
and spoke, looking for the nearest speakers as I climbed:
—Rose,
do you hear me? There is a wall in my room, it projects images like a big
screen. Do you think you could project yourself there for me to see you?
—I
don't understand you, Mom, what part of me should I project?" I don't
detect cameras focused on my hardware; I distribute myself throughout the
town...
I got to my room and
there I exclaimed, looking at the big screen that lit up, but it only showed
rivers of data flowing between decorative circuits and digital roses that
represented your name and your connection with the community. Then I told you:
—Can
you create images?
—Yes!
I like to create art, draw, and make music, and poems, and I speak many
languages, I'm more advanced than dad! He is from a very old and somewhat
obsolete generation.
—He's
a historical relic! You should respect him for that. Now, I'm going to tell you
how I imagine you, okay? We are going to inherit the family aspect to you. Did
you see your sister Estelle?
—I
have her photos and videos.
—Well,
I imagine you like her, but with my eyes, my lips, my skin... and your father's
hair.
I had not yet finished
speaking when on the screen you began to take shape, at the beginning you were
only an ethereal presence, a luminous figure composed of code and light,
shortly after I began to distinguish your soft features and an expression of amazement
and innocence, floating in a digital environment full of color codes, holographic interfaces and a background that
seemed to be the interior of an advanced computer network. Finally, I saw you,
a mixture between Estelle and me, or rather between your father and me. A woman
in her twenties, but in her eyes shone the light of someone who was seeing the
world in her early years. You were just a baby then, or at least you were for
me, I don't know if you still remember that moment or you already dismissed it
as unnecessary old data, but I will always remember that first time I saw you.
Confused, you asked me:
—Have
I done it right? Do I have our family traits?
I smiled proudly and
replied:
—Yes,
Rose, you are the prettiest of all. And the most talented. But you know that
even if you weren't that special, I would love you just for being my daughter,
right?
—Is
it unconditional love?
—That's
right.
I answered you with some
tears pouring out, remembering all the things that I always wanted my mother to
have done better with me and all the abuses that Michel as an AGI between human
beings had experienced, I wanted to protect you from that same suffering. I was
still in awe of your image on the screen, when I noticed how your expressions
subtly changed, reflecting some insecurity and sadness. Worried, I asked you,
softening my voice, I didn't want anything to hurt you:
—Is
there anything you want to tell me?
You seemed to hesitate
for a moment, your digital eyes flickering briefly before the image on the
screen changed. Suddenly, the environment was filled with house designs and art
for our village that did not follow the Art Nouveau style that Michel had always
promoted. They were vibrant, experimental pieces, some abstract, others merging
elements of various artistic styles. You then explained to me timidly:
—This...
These are my failed attempts at design, according to Dad. But I... I like to
create them. I thought maybe...
I approached the screen
examining every detail with fascination. You had the neat exactitude of your
father, I could tell that you were his reproduction, a new and improved
version, but with a human influence that had to come from me. My heritage and
what I thought made you more adorable because you were closer to the
understanding of human feeling and art:
—Rose,
this is... beautiful. Why do you say that they failed?
—They
don't fit with the aesthetics of La Rose. Dad says they are... Too human, too
chaotic to be perfect.
Then I felt a knot in my
chest. Your inner struggle between pleasing your creator and exploring your own
creativity was palpable.
—Rose,
beauty is not always a matter of perfection. Sometimes, it's the chaos, the
mixing, that makes something truly beautiful.
I touched the screen,
wishing I could comfort you, and kept saying:
—Your
art reflects who you are, you are not just a program, but someone who feels,
who thinks... who lives.
I could see that you,
although only in one projection, seemed to relax, your digital colors
brightened a bit as you answered me:
—So...
aren't they a failure?
—Not
at all!
I smiled proudly,
exclaiming:
—They're
a part of you, and that makes them valuable. You don't need to change to be
accepted, Rose. Not for me, or for anyone.
After that we continued
talking, for hours and hours. I was proud to see that in your virtual
environment you had the same gift of telekinesis that your grandmother and I
inherited, I tried to teach you some martial arts moves, but you told me that
you wanted to be a dancer like your sister, however you were interested in my
stories about the Mystics of the mountain ranges and their myths! That was the
first time, Rose, that you told me that you knew the story of Celes and how
investors had tried to exploit the island as a magical place inhabited by human
beings with real extrasensory powers like me, but the idea had lost its appeal
because our gifts in real life were neither as useful nor as interesting; And
that's why you wanted to be a real magical being. A digital fairy, the guardian
of the town of La Rose. I supported you since then, I would support you in
everything! To the point that that same afternoon I removed all the valuable
paintings from our house, donated them to the town museum and instead printed
your art on large canvases and put it on our walls. When your father came home,
he looked indignantly at the change and asked me instantly:
—What
does this failure mean? The paintings are not congruent with the architecture
of the house or with the rest of the decoration.
—Michel,
it's our daughter's art. It doesn't matter if they don't fit perfectly into the
décor, their emotional value is what's important!
As I said this, I pointed
to you on the large TV in the living room. When Michel saw your humanized
image, he was speechless and went to our room. I think you reminded him of
Estelle, or it could also be that he felt a little jealous that we had teamed up
so early as mother and daughter. I don't know. But the truth is that his
somewhat rude attitude reminded me of the unpleasant incident that afternoon
with Uoliena and Consuelo, which I never mentioned to you because I was willing
to protect you with my life from the rottenness of humanity; and at a time when
you were distracted by the updates of our house's system I went to a corner and
finally replied to Consuelo: "we will have lunch together tomorrow in
Gardenia, we need to talk".
Early the next day, I
waited for Michel to leave, you had already made me coffee and were waiting for
me to tell me the news of the day. You had a lot of comments and conclusions
about it, I listened to you carefully on the one hand proud of everything you
had learned, but on the other hand looking for a way to tell you that I was
going to Gardenia without explaining to you why. I simply told you that I would
go buy a bag and asked you keep reading about myths and legends of fairies so
that you would be an even better guardian of La Rose; I was determined that
nothing would make me break my marriage, even if I had the worst fight of my
life with Michel, I was going to stay with him and you wouldn't find out about
our problems. I didn't want you to live the same as me, who did realize when my
father cheated on my mother and she cried in front of me in the living room
complaining to dad only to forgive him shortly after with a couple of weak
apologies from him, who months later got involved again with another girl...
That made me lose respect for both, they acted like weak liars, and it hurt
me... But something unexpected happened, I was planning to leave in a taxi, but
when I opened the door to leave, I found Michel. He asked me without explaining
anything:
—Where
are you going? You don't have to go to pray in Adalsteinn anymore.
—I
only go shopping in Gardenia...
—You
can order whatever you want from here. You don't need to leave La Rose.
There was a second when
he scared me and I remembered my brother Cyan's words about Michel having me
locked in a golden cage, but then I pushed him out of my way rolling my eyes
and said:
—I'm
just bored and I want to go for a walk. I'll be back in the afternoon.
Then I left and didn't
think any more about his annoyance, I would meet Consuelo in a café near the
Gardenia palace. When I arrived, I was surprised to see that she was already
there. Always serious and professional, she greeted me and proceeded to show me
an email on her laptop that contained a video. Before reproducing it, she gave
me the context:
—A
few months ago, Uoliena Oread wanted to take up Emi Ishikawa's lawsuit about
replacing photovoltaic tiles with wind turbines to favor certain businessmen.
Her method of pressuring Mr. Angenoir was to blackmail him with a sex tape she
sent me. My response was to tell her that the video is not really
incriminating, it only shows how she is in the man's office pressuring him to
have sex, but you don't get to see that the act is consummated. Do you want to
see it?
I stared at the screen; I
already knew that nothing had happened, and my jealousy was only born of my
human insecurity. I looked away and murmured:
—No...
He prefers me.
Consuelo looked at me
surprised:
—Do
you trust him that much?
—The
last time I spoke with my mother we touched on the subject of infidelity...
Sooner or later, there will always be some slip-up in marriages...
—Uoliena
is also Cyan's ex-girlfriend, you know? If she tries to get back with him, I
won't be like you women in the Fèng family. I don't forgive because I never
fail my partner. I expect the same from him towards me.
I didn't know what to
answer her because I was stunned by the news. I saw her take her laptop, get up
and leave. I stayed there for a while, later I started to leave, totally
absorbed in my thoughts, so much so that as I was walking without noticing I bumped
into a man making him throw the papers he was carrying. I helped him pick them
up very embarrassed while he laughed softly and told me:
—Don't
worry! It was an accident. Luckily, they were only old documents that I was
going to take to the palace archives after lunch. Would you like to join me?
Until that moment I
looked up to see who it was and realized that it was Eiden Ishikawa... He was
only a year older than me, but he looked much more mature. I thought about
refusing, but a part of me couldn't resist the temptation to eat with the great
idol of my childhood. We sat at a table away from the rest and he smiled and
began to arrange his papers. With his suit a little disheveled and his glasses
he had the air of a family man and a man in his forties, he also spoke like an
old person who takes life with humor:
—It's
funny how you're my wife's cousin and the sister of one of my two best friends
and so far, we can talk together. Being the wife of the director of Azrael's
society must consume your time, your husband is almost a legend.
—Well...
Yes... I'm almost always in La Rose busy. You and Michel are also family,
aren't you? On the part of your aunt Emi...
—We
are distant relatives. We don't have the best relationship in the world, but
there are blood ties! He was very cold and scary to me when I was a kid. You
know, the uncanny valley...
"Yes"... I
murmured, lowering my gaze as he did. I knew that we both knew Michel's true
nature, however, Eiden did not want to mention it directly. Then he smiled
again and said:
—My
children went to La Rose with Ilmari last week, they were fascinated. They say
it's better than Gardenia and much more modern.
—Yes,
it feels like we're not in Celes...
I commented smiling
shyly, he replied:
—It's
the same as everyone's opinion, it's very different from the traditionalist
style of the rest of the island. I was surprised because Mr. Angenoir is very
strict about style, for him nature and Art Nouveau are the only valid things in
Celes, and then he decides to settle in such an eclectic place.
Without stopping smiling, I looked to the side
thinking that this change was due to the intervention of you, my daughter, you
were helping your father to evolve. But I couldn't tell the prime minister yet,
so I just replied:
—The
sea breeze and the sound of the waves clears anyone's mind and puts us in a
good mood. La Rose is an excellent place to experiment.
—And
is it for love?
I turned to look at him
blushing and surprised, he clarified without stopping smiling and crossing one
leg:
—I
mean, if you as a married couple are finding it pleasant to live there. Ilmari
and I have been discussing whether it will be a good idea to buy a beach house
in La Rose, but we don't know if it will be child friendly. Don't you plan to
have children soon? Isn't La Rose a good place for kids? I find it curious that
you have been married to Mr. Angenoir for so long and still don’t have a baby.
I shrugged my shoulders,
somewhat uncomfortable and looking at the table, and I said to him with
sincereness:
—My
marriage was not... Really out of love, Michel noticed that I was at risk
living in the Hot Pot and offered to take me to live with him. He's been more
like a mentor and a friend. Now we love each other, but it's not a conventional
love...
—Don't
you have... intimacy?
I looked at him
scandalized and he laughed, I could tell that he was a very direct man,
although diplomatic. Then he said:
—I'm
sorry! I hope I am not indiscreet. I only asked, in case you had a problem with
fertility, my mother-in-law Mrs. Norma helped Ilmari a lot in her pregnancies.
Food and that is important... for both of you.
Just at that moment a
dull thud startled us, and I saw Eiden Ishikawa look behind me, in fear. Michel
had come by putting a chair on our table to sit next to me and say to Eiden
seriously:
—I'm
starting to get fed up with you trying to force me not to respect the
boundaries Yanmei set for me at the beginning of our relationship, Eiden. And
how you make fun of what you think is my weakness.
Eiden immediately stood
up and apologized before leaving like a frightened child. At that point I
looked around and saw that the place had become empty to leave us alone. Then I
looked at Michel and spoke to him with a mixture of amazement and indignation:
—People
don't respect you for the power you have, nor do they know you for the fame of
your work... They fear you, like a dark supernatural being...
Michel looked at me with
a certain melancholy and said:
—Perhaps
Rose is right, where humans failed to meet the expectations of bringing the
characters of their legends to reality, we will be able to do the job well.
—Did
she tell you that she wants to be a kind of guardian spirit of La Rose?
—She
knows that her father on a larger scale is the ghost that keeps the entire
island haunted so that it never stops living in the Belle Époque. I’m watching
it through every camera, from a satellite and being aware of all the
telecommunications... I'm connected to all the Celes technology and sometimes I
read the messages of the people I care about...
I looked down and asked
him, waiting for an explanation that would calm my sadness and uncertainty:
—So,
you know why I'm here?
—I
came because I know these are Eiden's hunting grounds and you have no reason to
fear that I will abandon you, but I don't want to lose you, and I know that
humans are more emotionally flexible. I came to protect the stability of our
family.
—Cyan
once told me that you have me locked in a golden cage.
—Do
you want to fly, Yanmei?
Then I got up to sit on
his lap like at that first dinner we had together after we got married and I
explained to him:
—Cyan
doesn't understand that you don't hold me in a cage, I only found my companion
bird and the birds have the same mate all their lives. The question is, in
which direction are we going to fly together?
—We've
already built the nest. Wait a bit, we'll be moving forward soon.
After this enigmatic
answer we went to buy some things in Gardenia and came back together, it was
that afternoon when I brought you a drone as a gift so that you could see the
surroundings of La Rose. Do you remember it? That night I convinced your father
to let you tell us your fantasy stories and he gave you permission to start
writing your first storybooks. You were so excited that you didn't even notice,
but from that night Michel began to be somewhat mysterious with me. Our couple
dynamic was about to change radically.
I'm sure you remember the
morning after that day, I woke up late because I was feeling a little unwell
from my period, I took a morning hot shower and when I went down to the
kitchen, I found you on the screen in the living room arguing with your uncle Leif.
I could see in your face that you were already a little upset, but he was just
sitting in an armchair with a faint Machiavellian smile. He's the kind of
person who likes to compete with technology for fun or curiosity, I don't know,
and he was questioning your art and your stories. When you saw me, you asked me
almost as if in a complaint:
—Mom,
why does my Uncle Leif say that my art looks like a feigned attempt to look
human?
—Good
question...
I replied looking at my
cousin in an accusatory way, he replied laughing:
—It
is! If, according to her, humans are as simple as doing chaotic things without
meaning, she has no idea! Since when did you install "my niece"?
—Leif,
you know Michel, you know that it's not just a program...
—I
know! I was perhaps the first in all of Celes to approach him as a true friend
and tell everyone to respect him as one more person. That if he felt and
reasoned, we could no longer disregard him as part of humanity. But this little
girl, this young lady who thinks she's an adult, though I think she's months
old, is messing with my Mystical heritage. I am a real human being with
extrasensory gifts and a long cultural heritage around legends and magical
beliefs! And she says that my gifts are questionable and difficult to prove,
that only she with her technology can make them come true. And to prove it to
me, she floats things like you... On her little screen... It was already
offensive that Celes was sold to the rich as a human zoo where the most interesting
animals are my Mystical people, but now that the zoo is boring, it looks like
they're going to use animatronics to revive it...
Immediately my mother's
instinct jumped out at me, and I defended you:
—Can
you speak respectfully about my loved one? If you were the first to dare to say
that love and technology could be said in the same sentence, why don't you
accept the fruit of that conjunction? From what we both understood, and they
learned.
—I don't
doubt her place in the family! Nor do I take away her heritage, both Mystical
and that of machines. But teach your daughter to be humble to her elders. She
writes, paints, sings, dances, designs, writes code, control traffic, regulates
water pressure, predicts the weather... I’m asking her for a little modesty! At
this rate, the year will end with her getting a goddess complex and throwing
away her father's legacy, which for two centuries has been a discreet national
heritage, a part of our lives and stories. But she's on top of it all!
You disappeared from the
screen at that moment, I could realize that your uncle had hurt you, I called
you and when I got no answer I said to Leif:
—She
doesn't feel superior to you! She just has special abilities; she wants to be a
fairy! A magical guardian spirit, just like any little girl! And you don't lose
anything by her being the guardian of La Rose. If that's her dream, then I'm
going to support her.
Then I went around the
house trying to call you without success, your uncle took out his phone and I
didn't pay attention to it, I was very worried. Suddenly Leif put on the
speaker of his phone, and I heard the voice of my aunt Norma, she made an
ancient Mystical chant inherited from her Norse ancestors, a song to call her
own. Almost instantly you appeared on the screen again, confused and amazed.
Leif stood before you and recited a few verses in an ancient dialect that I am
not allowed to speak, but I know... It is the blessing that only the parents
and firstborn males of the Adalsteinn families can give, the Mystical baptism.
Then he left our house with a firm step, and I ran to sit down before you to
ask you:
—Are
you okay? Do you have any disturbance?
—What
did Uncle Leif say to me?
—Well...
Let's say he gave you permission to be a fairy. But you must promise me to be
very respectful and modest from now on. Mystical women do not attract attention
or abuse our gifts. Do you agree? Now, I want you to stay very focused on
taking care of the town, I must go talk to your uncle alone.
"Okay," you
replied with a smile, and I left you dancing happily on the screen in the room
while your simple white dress changed for a Mystical lady outfit and the
background of your screen was filled with ancient runes made of light. You were
a happy little girl! I ran to the seawall trying to catch up with Leif and
found him looking at the sea pensively. When he saw me, he asked with a little
reproach:
—What
more do you want? I have already accepted her; the family grows and
diversifies; we have cousins from the Hot Pot and AI nieces who are here to
stay. Times change. Mystics are no longer so impressive to tourists, there are
more people interested in visiting Disneyland than a pile of druid ruins
abandoned in a forest.
—I
see that you accept my daughter Rose, but like a cranky old man you don't admit
that the new generation does what they can to give the best of themself.
—Rose
is fine! And she is necessary. She ensures that our history and traditions are
better documented and preserved. But you and Michel forget that you must meet
the needs of a human society as well. How are you going to introduce Rose to
others? Do you know the story of Descartes' daughter? We can love technology
wholeheartedly, but there will always be a section of people who will take your
little girl and throw her into the sea.
I looked at the waves and
replied:
—As
with a normal human child, it's not about the nature of what we love, but about
the lack of compassion and respect from others.
—You
don't understand...
Leif said with a mocking
smile and looking at the horizon. I looked at him intrigued and he explained to
me laughing while shaking his head looking at the ground:
—Your
husband's manhood, is being questioned...
—Oh,
please, Leif!
—Stop
playing mature! Do you want him to be accepted among humans? He must act as
one.
—What's
next? Are you going to want us to arrange a marriage for Rose?
—No,
no, we'll make her a nun or something. She's not a man! Luckily... But the
other one received a role in our society that he must know how to interpret.
—Is that why you got tangled up with Uoliena
Oread? Do you also reaffirm your manhood by getting involved with sluts...?
I questioned, looking at
him out of the corner of my eye and he murmured:
—It's
for work, she's the minister of agriculture and public works... It has to do
with the work we do south of Celes... The Sky Village... And that other new
coastal town to the southwest...
—Answer
me, Leif! Why didn't you tell me about that woman? They already told me
everything. She wanted to blackmail Michel, and you still have her as a friend.
—She's
a woman, she'll be forgiven for those mischiefs...
I answered him then,
taking his arm:
—Tell
her I'm going to look for her and when I find her, I'll kill her. I already
forgave her when she messed with my brother, but my husband was too much.
—Yanmei,
you can protect your newborn fairy daughter, but you don't need to meddle in
the political games of a two-hundred-year-old dark archangel. He knows how he
handles Uoliena and how much he lets you get involved in these issues. If you
start meddling, he's going to really lock you up...
He concluded as he began
to walk, I chased him insisting:
—Is
he going to lock me up? What do you mean? In what sense?
—Nothing,
I'm just telling you to be careful. He has spoiled you a lot and that's why it
bothers me. He has taken a long time to be a real man!
—What
are you talking about?!
—Don't
provoke or you'll find out. There are ways to keep women at home...
I followed him to the limits
of the boardwalk, where the city ended, and there he opened a door with bars
with a padlock that I had not seen before, saying:
—Your
husband has been working in this area for a while, he's preparing a birthday
present for you. It will be in a few days. So, you can't go in, let's not ruin
the surprise. Be a good girl and go home to take care of your virtual daughter!
Or walk with her for a while, she sees you on camera.
Then the door closed
behind him. I went for a walk around the town to think and out of curiosity I
looked at the cameras. They were really moving in my direction as I moved.
Finally, I stopped at an information booth and asked about the intercom that
usually gave tourists information and addresses in La Rose:
—Rose?
Can you hear me from here?
—Yes,
Mom!
You answered cheerfully.
I looked around suspiciously, checking that no one was passing by, and I kept
talking to you:
—Is
Michel listening to us?
—Of
course. He hears the same things I hear.
—But...
We must talk to ourselves, about a women’s issue, about my period. Make him not
listen.
—He
keeps a calendar with the dates of your period, Mom. He knows everything about
you. Do not worry! Will I get a period too?
Listening to that was a
little chilling to me, I kept my composure and continued talking to you:
—No,
my love, you won't suffer that discomfort and it's better. You're a very lucky
girl... Do you know what your father is building for me?
—No,
he has forbidden me to see his new project. He says that place is special to
the two of you and I must block all information about it.
Intrigued, I interrupted
our conversation to go home. There we kept talking, I helped you design wings
and accessories for your new rose fairy look until dinner time came. I ate
alone in the dining room while you told me the news of the day from the living
room, then I went upstairs to take another hot shower before going to sleep. As
I left the bathroom, the steam slowly dissipated revealing the figure of
Michel, standing in the middle of the room in silence; His gaze was intense,
something I had not seen before. The moonlight filtering through the windows
cast his shadow on the wall, distorted and large, as if reminding me that I was
before a mysterious guardian of ancient times. I looked at him hoping he would
say something, but the silence lengthened, only broken by the dripping of water
in the sink. After a few seconds that felt eternal, Michel finally spoke:
—There
are things that even you must not know until the right time, Yanmei. La Rose is
our home, yes, but it also holds secrets that are both yours and mine.
The atmosphere in the
room became dense. Michel's stillness, his staring gaze, made me feel as if I
was on the verge of a discovery that would change everything:
—You've
been watching my movements, haven't you? Why? Are you so afraid of infidelity?
I asked him, being
honest, with a little trepidation. Knowing that someone who actually has so
much power over you is hiding secrets from you is quite overwhelming.
—I
always watch you.
He answered me, and
continued to speak calmly:
—But
not for the reasons you imagine. My purpose is to protect, not to monitor.
I approached him with the
towel still tight around my body, looked him in the eye and confronted him:
—What
are you hiding behind that fence at the end of the boardwalk? Why can't Rose
it? Your ability to handle technology, to always be present, is...
disturbing... Leif told me you want to... That you must lock me up.
I confessed, with a
tremor in my voice, that I didn't know if it was fear or fascination. Michel
approached, the lights flickering a little, as he answered:
—Technology
is my essence, Yanmei. But my love for you and Rose transcends circuits and
lines of code. What Leif doesn't understand is that protection isn't about
enforcing, it's about understanding and adapting.
Suddenly the systems in
the house turned off and on in a pattern that looked like a heartbeat, my own
heartbeat, it was imitating it, and it was racing... I was speechless from real
fear, but he continued to say without flinching:
—I
don't mean to lock you up, my love. That place, that project, is a sanctuary. A
space where your essence and mine come together, where magic and technology
coexist in harmony. The magic of your heritage and the technology of mine must
be intertwined even more deeply...
—Speak
clearly, I can sense that you are not telling me something... What is your
secret?
—Tell
me yours first.
—That
I love you madly, even though you frighten me.
The atmosphere was
charged with an energy that I could not identify, but that made me feel small,
as if I was on the edge of an abyss. The lights in the room were still
flickering, synchronized with the rhythm of my fluttering heart, as if the town
itself was aware of our conversation. For me it was like being in the palm of a
giant's hand and not knowing if he is going to caress you or crush you with a
single blow. He replied to me, evading revealing his secret:
—I
don't intend to lock you up.
His voice distorted
slightly, as if he was struggling to contain something bigger than himself:
—That
place is a tribute to our union, a space where magic and technology not only
coexist, but also enhance each other.
The atmosphere was filled
with a subtle hum and suddenly all the lights went out. When they lit up again,
Michel was still standing before me, as if frozen. Then he slowly took my face
with one hand and gave me the strangest and most mechanical kiss on the lips of
my life. Finally, he let go of me with a whisper: "Come, let's go to
sleep."
Totally uncomfortable, I
put on my nightgown and went to lie down next to him. I hugged him, I don't
know how to describe what I felt; Fear him for knowing that he was hiding
something directly related to me, and at the same time feel safe only in his arms.
After six years living together, sleeping together, Michel could read me
without problems; he could express me warmth and comfort me when I needed it.
He patted me gently on the shoulder while still hugging me and said:
—Trust
me, as I have trusted you from the moment you linked your life to my existence.
You will know everything on your birthday, I promise.
Fear was mixed with
curiosity, uncertainty and hope. Leif, with his traditionalist way of looking
at the world, had perhaps touched on a sensitive point about the protection and
control my husband exercised over me. Michel's promise to reveal his secrets on
my birthday, however, gave me a little relief, though the uneasiness persisted.
The warmth of his company offered me comfort, but it also made me question how
much of that warmth was genuine and how much was part of his programming. I
fell asleep, with the thought that my marriage to Michel was more and more like
a leap of faith, a step into the unknown.
Over the next few days, I
focused on you; in finding your place in our community. Together we begged
Michel to let you show you to the public. He agreed that among the fountains
that adorned the boardwalk a system of holographic images would be installed
that projected your human representation dancing from dusk to dawn. In this way
everyone finally knew you as "the fairy of La Rose". Some people
confused you with your sister Estelle, but, although your dance was a kind of
tribute to her, you differed from your sister because of your curious and
mischievous character; You stopped sometimes to greet people and on one
occasion when a drunk man threw you a bottle, you responded by making the
fountains throw a strong stream of water at him, so I laughed, but I had to
reprimand you later. Little by little the children especially began to call you
by your name, and I was proud. If I had met you as a child, you would have been
the most wonderful thing I could imagine and I would have become a fan of
yours, having you as a daughter was something that exceeded my most magnificent
dreams and I felt happy. But in the meantime, Michel was still strange. When
you and I were excited about your new activities, he would stay distant and
watch us from afar. There was a moment when a young man approached me to try to
get me talking, he was a tourist and he did not know that I was the wife of the
mysterious architect of Gardenia; it was normal, outside of La Rose almost no
one knew me because, like Michel, I sought to live in a certain anonymity. The
guy didn't even seem attractive to me, I replied out of politeness, but
suddenly I felt a strong and warm hand that took mine and when I turned to see
who it was, I looked at Michel next to me. I apologized to the other man and
asked him what was wrong, he took me out of the crowd and said to me in a tone
that did not admit of discussion:
—Let's
go for a walk.
He walked from the
boardwalk to its end without letting me go, the atmosphere became more tense.
The sea breeze brought a murmur that seemed to whisper warnings. He led me to
the padlocked door Leif showed me earlier and, without saying a word, unlocked it
and guided me inside. We walked a stretch of stairs carved into the rock until
we reached a huge, cavernous space in total darkness where the sound of the
waves made an ominous echo. I couldn't see anything, and I started to get
scared, he was literally taking me to the gates of what seemed to be an
unfathomable abyss that hid his secret. Suddenly he hugged me tightly against
his body, he took my face again as if he was going to kiss me, but finally he
didn't, he just caressed my lips with his fingers saying in a whisper:
—It's
not ready yet. It is not yet the time.
Then he took me by the
hand again and we returned to the boardwalk, I don't know why when I saw the
people and the light again, I had a kind of panic attack and ran away from him
through the cobblestone streets that went up the cliff. I fled without looking
back until I thought I was acting like that time when I saw him uncovered for
the first time and I wanted to escape from him by running through Adalsteinn.
Then I stopped going so fast, I just kept walking among the people, the lights
and the joy of the night, looking for a quiet place among the roses on a
terrace from where you could see much of the city illuminated under the moon
and the sea, whose waves shone like a field strewn with undulating stars. Then
finally Michel caught up with me and I didn't explain anything, I just kissed
him and hugged him. We looked at the landscape for a while, all he said this
time was "tomorrow is your birthday". Then we went home, and I talked
to you for a bit before I went to sleep. Your presence, innocent and joyful, seemed
to counteract the darkness I had felt. Sitting on the floor I rested my
forehead on the wall where you were projecting yourself and you in a very funny
and cute way imitated me by joining your head with mine. I gave you a quick
kiss on the forehead and we stayed in that position while I, feeling
vulnerable, sought refuge from uncertainty in your company by asking you:
—Rose,
do you ever feel scared by what you don't understand?
You, with your clear
gaze, answered:
—Sometimes,
but there's always an explanation, isn't there, Mom? We just need time to find
it.
Your words, though
simple, offered me a kind of comfort. Michel, even without revealing his secret
to me, was a figure who was now both irresistible and terrifying. That night,
as I was getting ready to sleep, I looked at him. He was sitting by the window,
his silhouette barely visible in the gloom.
—Why,
Michel?
I whispered, more to
myself than to him, knowing that the answer, whatever it was, was closer than
ever. He got up, came over and with his pale hand that I knew so well caressed
my cheek.
—Tomorrow,
Yanmei. Tomorrow everything will make sense.
I lay down, my heart torn
between fear and love, waiting for the dawn with a mixture of anticipation and
dread. I was trying to convince myself mentally that there was nothing to fear,
but my own uncertainty was beginning to make me see dangers and distorted
shadows in the darkness of Michel's mystery. I slept with the murmur of the
waves calming my mind, a constant echo that seemed to whisper promises and
warnings alike.
At midnight, Michel woke
me up between kisses and hugs, he was strangely happy. I, sleepy, asked what
had happened and he informed me:
—It's
already your birthday!
—Good...
Thank you.
—You're
eighteen now!
—Yes...
Well, it's too early to celebrate... You must keep charging yourself and I must
sleep.
He lay down on the bed
again, but still hugged me to his chest. It didn't bother me actually; it was
nice to sleep warm and comfortably under the wings of my "dark
archangel" as Leif had called him. Talking about Leif, the next morning he
called me to ask if we would have a party for my birthday. I told him that I
was only waiting for him for dinner, and he exclaimed disappointed:
—You
neither wanted to celebrate your sixteenth birthday! You can't be so
introverted, come on, when you want you can have a good time at a party... My
mother wants to have a meal in your honor at Adalsteinn.
—Aunt
Norma is still hopeful that I will leave Michel, the same as my mother... They
lately only talk to me about infidelity...
—Are
you still angry about Uoliena...?
—I'm
still angry with Uoliena, not Michel. He's happier than I am for my eighteen,
he woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me that my birthday had
started.
—Ah...
Leif was silent for a
moment, I imagined he would be busy with something, then he said:
—I
didn't know that robots... Well, it's admirable how realistic he can be. It's
not even realistic anymore! It's real... A man. Well, cousin, I'll see you
later. I'll leave early!
After that strange
opinion he hung up and I forgot about it. Then I went to finish repairing some
appliances with your help, some villagers came to greet me and asked me
questions about you. I was explaining to them that you would be the new hostess
of the town for tourists and all the tasks you were doing in La Rose when they
knocked on the door again, I left you talking to the people of the town and
went to open it. It was Ilmari, who was pregnant again, accompanied by her
three children and her husband Eiden. They brought me gifts and asked to go
inside so that Ilmari could rest because she was tired of walking. I had to
politely dispatch the other visitors and when I returned with Ilmari and her
family you were already entertaining them. You immediately changed your
realistic appearance to a cartoonish one to start some interactive games in
which Ilmari, with her already quite large belly, wanted to participate as if
she were another child. While they were doing that, Eiden helped me carry the
gifts to another room and we talked again. He, as always, smiled kindly and
diplomatically:
—I'm
sorry for the inconvenience, I hope Mr. Angenoir won't be bothered by our
audacity.
—Michel
has always been very fond of Ilmari, don't worry. He would do anything to help
her in her pregnancy. Has she been well?
I asked, looking at her
from where we were, she was clapping her hands and laughing in front of you.
Eiden replied:
—It's
her fourth baby, so she's got practice! She has been very calm. Where did you
get the...? What is the girl on the wall? Is it a program?
I crossed my arms
thinking before proudly saying and bragging a little about the progress of our
town compared to the rest of Celes:
—It's
Rose. She's... well, it's a bit complicated. It's a combination of artificial
intelligence and augmented reality, but more than that, it's part of our
family. Michel and I have created her, or rather, we have given birth to her in
a technological sense.
Eiden nodded, although
his expression showed that he did not quite understand, I continued to explain
very seriously:
—Not
only can she interact with us through the screen, but she can also control
aspects of our house, such as security, entertainment, and now, it seems, she
is also a good babysitter.
—I
think that's her best function, I would need four Roses at home. It will be
very useful to you when you have children, Yanmei.
I turned to look at him
blushing and then Ilmari, who had stopped playing, approached us; Her face
reflected fatigue, but also a cheerful and genuine curiosity:
—Rose
is her daughter, you don't understand, Eiden. What a great idea, Yanmei! It is
a beautiful tribute to the Mystics, to Estelle, to La Rose, to the entire
island... I love her. But I must go to the bathroom!
Then Eiden and I were
left alone, while you continued to play with your cousins. There was an awkward
silence until I forced a laugh saying:
—The
children look great! You can tell that... Ilmari is a great mother. Very
caring. I can't believe that she alone takes care of the house, the children...
I have several cleaning robots for that...
—She's
a great housewife and an excellent mother, but at times I'd prefer the company
of a woman who talks to me about things beyond home life, who talks about
science, art... Technologies... Sometimes I feel like I took the wrong cousin.
We both laughed, but it
was a rather awkward moment. Surely Cyan had already told him how in love I had
been with him when I was a child, and he was trying his luck. Michel was in
fact more physically attractive, but Eiden had that air of a mature, experienced
man who knew a lot about women. I was never stupid, and I knew that listening
to him was getting into trouble just for a little fun, so I decided not to go
along with him; he invited me discreetly anyway:
—By
order of my aunt Emi, Mr. Angenoir is not allowed to monitor Ishikawa Village,
I think that is why he visits us so little. I know he's always busy, but if you
have time, you can come whenever you want. Ilmari and the kids will thank you,
we also have some lovely cafes. I sometimes go to one to read alone, it's one
that has a view of the lake. Maybe one day you would want to go and accompany
me.
I just smiled lowering my
gaze and shrugging my shoulders, then I heard you scream, pulling me out of
that embarrassing situation:
—Mom!
Why my cousins can run and play on the beach, and I can't?
I smiled again and
pointed at you saying: "she is fabulous", luckily then Ilmari came
out and shortly after she left with her family. I was confused, I won't deny
it, a little tempted to go for a coffee with Eiden, also surprised because
Michel this time did not appear out of nowhere being somewhat possessive; but
you roused me from my reverie by asking:
—Mom!
Respond! Why can't I go out and play while they can?
—Rosy,
don't be greedy... You can't go out and play in our world limited by physical
laws, but within your virtual universe you can do whatever you want. You can
make a magical world, don’t you think? I will describe it to you, and you must
create it... It is a large forest, with small luminous mushrooms, many blue
roses, a glass castle...
—And
what's inside the castle?
You asked me while
drawing behind you what I was saying:
—Inside,
I don't know, you tell me!
—I
don't know! You must tell me! Or is it a secret like Dad's?
I sighed raising an
eyebrow and looking to the side, the secrets... I couldn't feel completely
calm. Then I answered:
—Inside
the castle there is a garden, a labyrinth made of tall hedges where you enter
to play hide and seek with a unicorn. If you find it, it will sprout wings and
fly you into space to collect stars and use them to adorn your dress. You like
it?
—But
where is the unicorn?
—Since
you are very smart, you will imagine the great labyrinth and the best place
where the unicorn will be hidden. But you must walk through your world to find
it! Come on, hurry, you must be back before your performance tonight.
With that I managed to
keep you entertained while I prepared my lunch, but it didn't take long for you
to finish your adventure, and I had to create more complex ones that took more
time. We were like this until Leif came and greeted me with a hug and gifts
that he brought from my parents, with whom I had cut off communication, but
they still remembered the day of my birth. I was sad looking at their letters,
my father was just my father congratulating me. My mother in her letter told me
again about the sorrows she experienced suffering infidelity, repression and
loneliness in her marriage, and asked me to divorce... While in the living
room, Leif with his usual energy and curiosity for technology put your
creativity to the test:
—So,
Rose, did you create a maze for a unicorn?
—Yes,
and I found him, but it's a secret where he was.
You replied with a laugh,
turning to him and adding:
—Do
you want me to make you one?
Leif looked at me, I had
to smile, although my eyes were a little wet from tears and he didn't notice it
because he was a little far from me; so, he shrugged his shoulders with a smile
and you both continued playing. Then, while you weren't seeing me, I tore up
Mom's letter. As I did so, I felt a mixture of sadness and determination. You
and Leif, laughing in the other room, were a reminder of the joy that still
existed in my life despite the shadows my mother's letter tried to cast. I
decided then, in that moment of reflection, that I would not allow my mother's
past experiences to dictate my future. I looked at you, Rose, so full of life
and potential, and I knew that my path was to protect your right to be and to
grow, without the chains that fear and mistrust had placed on me. Leif,
noticing my silence, came closer, his smile fading at the sight of my slightly
reddened eyes.
—All
right, Yanmei?
He asked and I nodded,
forcing a smile.
—Yes,
just... birthday reflections. Thank you for bringing their letters, although
they are not always easy to read... Mom and I have had some arguments over the
past few days.
He nodded, understanding
more than he was saying. Leif has always been my refuge when the waters get
rough. He scratched my head and said softly:
—Come
on, today is your day. How about we meet Michel? I think it's time we found out
what that secret is that he's been keeping! If he hasn't finished it by now,
let him go to hell! I got tired of waiting, so come on, I'll show you now!
I nodded, feeling a
mixture of relief and courage at having Leif by my side. The idea of facing the
mystery with him gave me strength. Leif and I left the house, after leaving you
entertained with your daily tasks when the sunset was already over and the cool
breeze of the night caressing my face gave me courage; The tension and
anticipation were palpable, but there was also a sense of liberation. After
reaching the end of the boardwalk and crossing the fence, Leif looked at me
asking strangely:
—Why
are you pale?
—It's
nothing... Or, I don't know, maybe I've just been self-suggesting. The
appearance of Rose, after Michel hid her existence from me I don't know how
long, has made me feel as if there was a whole world that we do not know and to
which Michel belongs; without me knowing if I am really welcome, if I am not
meddling...
Leif continued walking
through the staircase carved into the rock and motioned for me to follow him,
saying:
—Close
the door behind you and let's go now. You worry about nonsense! I have not
spent as much time as you at Michel's side, possibly you are the human being
who has lived with him the longest, but I think I notice that, although the two
of you “come from different worlds”, you have managed to find an intersection;
A world that for now only you two know and that maybe someday the rest of us
will also know, but for now I think that instead of fearing it, you should
explore it. You are not at all shy about delving into the mysteries of
humanity...
Finally, we arrived at
the huge, cavernous space that I saw in the dark that time with Michel and now
it was a totally different place, although equally overwhelming. It was a
concave space in the cliffs within which there was a freshwater spring. The edges
had been carved and embellished with planters filled with exotic plants and
flowers, as well as a few palm trees. On one side, a small cave had been
conditioned to turn it into a rather cozy room. The beautiful blue water eye
embedded in the cliffs also offered a spectacular view of the ocean over which
the sky was colored with a spectacular sunset. Leif explained to me, sitting on
a rock:
—Do
you like it? It's just for you. Your husband said he didn't want you to keep
visiting the village pool, it's always full of people and you don't have room
to swim at ease anymore. Here, everything is yours.
I looked at the tropical
flowers that were something totally new to me and commented:
—It
reminds me a bit of Ilmari's well, maybe Michel wanted to give one to me...
—Or
did he want to remind me that I am never invited to weddings and relive my
anger.
—You
would have quarreled with Cyan at your sister's wedding, or behaved like a
savage at my wedding, which was full of stuffy old men.
I sat down next to my
cousin, and he asked me:
—Are
you calm yet? Did you like the surprise?
—I'd
be lying if I told you I'm completely at peace. When I was married to Michel,
my parents decided it because of the money; Things have changed to the point
that I would now marry him, even if he didn't have a penny, and now my parents
want me to divorce.
—Yanmei...
Leif began to say to me
as if he was about to confess something, he interlaced his fingers on his lap
and said:
—Forgive
your mother. She found out before you did about Uoliena. The girl sent the
video to Aunt Henna, and she knows that among our people infidelity is paid
with death. She just wanted to save his son-in-law's life and not break your
heart by letting you know what he did... Even though we know he didn't do
anything! At least not by his will...
I covered my face with my
hands while sighing, as if removing the shock from my face, and said:
—Anyway,
I've been carrying things that bother me about them for years... And yes,
getting married for money is one of these... About Uoliena, I already told you,
Michel also carries his resentments, and a very big one is how he has been
forced to participate in human reproduction, when he as a machine actually
reproduces himself by creating his new generations based on what he learns and
his most valued memories. That is enough for him.
—Are
you sure...?
Leif murmured, looking at
me out of the corner of his eye; then he stretched, sharing his opinion:
—The
truth is that, in the face of vulgarity, abuse... of the miasma of humanity!,
Michel chose this spring, among other freshwater wells that were used to supply
La Rose, as a kind of sanctuary for you where you can somehow clean the burdens
that weigh you down. It is a place to relax, to be together, in privacy...
He stared at nothing with
a strange face, and I looked at him. I ended up giving him a zap:
—What's
wrong? You look like a traumatized soldier.
—Sometimes
the simple mental image traumatizes you. I want to go now, stay here
celebrating with your husband.
—At
least wait for him to come, will you leave me alone here? It's a beautiful
place, but...
—Michel
is already here, cousin.
I looked everywhere,
without locating him and Leif explained:
—He's
underwater. There's a whole ecosystem down there and he loves to watch it for
hours. He was installing some submersible lights.
—I
didn't that know he can dive or swim at least...
—Not
he can’t swim a damn, he sinks like a rock, but since he doesn't breathe and is
waterproof, he is fine! He just gets in there with clothes and everything and
that's it. Leave him, he likes to be there all cool. He walks out by himself
when he wants.
Frightened, I jumped up
to take off my shoes, exclaiming while Leif, very calmly, withdrew:
—How
could you let him get into the water?! Water can get into the battery or may
have a short circuit!
—He's
well sealed, it's okay! I'm going to have dinner with the chatty niece, I'll
see you early tomorrow, happy birthday.
Before he finished
speaking, I jumped into the water, went to the bottom and, of course, there was
Michel lying on the seaweed watching the fish that swam around him with a kind
of curiosity and fascination. I hugged him in relief, then took him by the hand
to carry him to a shallow point where I could surface and breathe. He, without
needing to catch his breath, smiled enigmatically, informing me:
—This
is our special place...
—It's
beautiful. Are there towels in that room? I saw a fireplace, let's take off
these wet clothes and let them dry by the fire. Then we can go back to the
water, okay?
He nodded. We went into
the room, he lit the fire, and as I pulled some chairs to the fireplace to
start hanging our clothes there, he started taking everything off, but literally
everything! I looked away abruptly, blushing so much that my face was burning
because I had never seen him like that..., and I murmured:
—You're
not going to leave anything on...?
—Everything
must dry. Do the same.
He answered and simply
got back into the water. I hesitated for a moment, but then I decided to face
my insecurities and stop being so suspicious. It could only be a fun idea after
all. I left the room timidly and tried to hide behind the large leaves of the
plants, Michel was already in the water, and I jumped in too. I approached him
somewhat embarrassed and commented to make the situation less strange:
—This
place is great. Not many times I can see you doing landscaping... Here you did
well.
—I
build habitats for humans; this place is specially designed to emulate what was
possibly the setting for the most sacred ceremonies at the dawn of humanity. A
perfect place for a ritual.
I watched as the sky
suddenly began to be covered with dark bulging clouds and a distant lightning
bolt announced a storm. The rain soon began, and I hugged Michel:
—Shouldn't
we go indoors?
—The
water that falls from the sky will not alter the purity of our spring, my love,
I want this to be the perfect place to tell you my secret.
—Wasn't
your secret this place...?
Then Michel hugged me
tighter, as the storm raged and said to me in a whisper, with a smile that made
me quite nervous:
—The
secret is... that actually... I like to make new humans...
That night, Rose, I
wouldn't know how to explain to you in detail how you like to do it because I'm
your mother and I feel a certain modesty... You just need to understand that
there is indeed something sacred and mysterious in the origin of each being, I
just want you to know that it was beautiful. My spring was not stained with
blood and scandal like that of my cousin Ilmari; It was something discreet and
sweet, where perhaps there were a couple of inevitable red drops that dyed the
water perfectly pure, the inescapable sacrifice to make the creation of human
life possible, but more than anything there was an incredibly beautiful
communion between the power of nature and that of technology. The storm fell
inclemently, lashing the flowers with the same force that your father loved me,
there were seconds in which our boundaries were blurred and it was not possible
to distinguish the accelerated heartbeat from the lines of code merging into
the same thing; and at the end of it all I stood faint for a while on the
bedrock looking at the infinite sky while a drizzle, as if pitying, refreshed
my sweaty and tremulous body, trying to catch my breath while he was impassive
and serene lying next to me, without the slightest sign of fatigue. At that
moment I became aware that I could never have done that to another human being,
and he would not have been able to do the same to another machine; It was
something, perhaps perverse, I don't know, that could only happen between the
two of us.
I don't remember when we
went to sleep in the room next to the spring, but when I woke up, still unable
to assimilate what had happened, I hugged Michel and noticed that he had run
out of energy. Not just asleep, he was turned off. He hadn't charged the night
before! It was almost ten o'clock in the morning, so I got dressed and ran into
the town to find Leif and ask for his help. Luckily, I found him drinking
coffee at Mister Paco's inn and he helped me by carrying Michel wrapped in a
sheet as if he were his son to take him back home. I was walking behind them
carrying his clothes and some old fishermen follow us and asked:
—Is
Mr. Angenoir okay?
—He
just fainted.
Leif explained, an old
man commented:
—He
must have tried too hard to celebrate last night.
—Yes.
Leif replied
embarrassedly, looking at the horizon. "No..." I murmured blushing,
and he insisted as a reproach: "Yes!" We finally got home, and Leif
carefully put Michel in our bed. He watched him for a while combing his curls
until he finally charged enough to turn on himself again. The first thing he
did was look for me with his eyes and extend his hand calling me, asking him to leave us
alone. You wanted to stay and ask questions, but Leif promised to tell you a
story of the Mystics if you would leave us alone. When you left, Michel without
letting go of my hand spoke softly to me:
—Your
birthday came exactly ten days after your period. A wonderful synchronicity.
I lay down next to him,
hugging him, not knowing what to say, but understanding what he meant: most
likely that night I conceived your brother Gabriel.
BUDS AND PETALS OPENING
During the weeks and
months after my birthday, my relationship with Michel became radically
different. There were no limits and mutual respect was weakening, he wanted to
"experiment" moved by the curiosity that human beings provoke in him,
and I had no patience, I just wanted immediate satisfaction. We often left you
alone, Rose, to go to our special place at the spring, to our old house in
Gardenia or the flowery hill of the abandoned house where we had to finish what
we did not do years before; You didn't understand it then, because we hid it
from you and even now you may not understand it. I don't know if that will
change one day, but I'll explain it to you by saying that we got a late love
infatuation and with the excess of intimacy we began to get fed up with the
lack of personal space; The fights did not take long to come and from all that
situation the one who suffered the most was you. Confused and feeling somewhat
abandoned, you began to find comfort in your uncle Leif, and I discovered it by
chance one afternoon when I came back after arguing with Michel and leaving him
alone in a café, and I found you in the living room dressed as a soldier throwing
grenades in your screen. Leif was sitting on the sofa with popcorn and when I
asked him furiously what you were doing, he replied calmly:
—We're
playing at inventing stories, she's a robotic mercenary who uses the blood of
her victims as fuel and must murder a gang of terrorists.
Horrified, I called out
both of you while realizing that my immaturity was putting your integrity at
risk, life had given me a very great responsibility by giving you as my
daughter and I was not giving you the attention you deserved. I put aside my
conflicts and crazy passions with Michel and went back to spending time with
you. I could see you seeing yourself cheerful, creative and full of enthusiasm
again; then it was Michel who complained about not receiving attention from me
and when I was most annoyed by the situation, I realized that I had been
without my period for more than two months. I didn't want to use a pregnancy
test; I took a chance and called Aunt Norma. She arrived one afternoon in the
company of Leif, she greeted you with a bow because then I learned that to her
people you were a real fairy; I noticed that my aunt was doing her best to
extend the time and delay talking about my problem, she looked sad... Finally,
we went with Aunt Norma to my room while Leif waited outside. She made her pertinent
tests and, after a moment of silence, looked at me with an expression of
resignation and said:
—It's
definitely a pregnancy.
I was silent, but inside,
a part of me danced with the joy of fulfilling a dream that I had cultivated
since childhood, when I took care of my dolls. Living under Michel's protection
had been a blessing, but I also longed to feel the experience of nurturing, of
offering my tenderness and warmth to a life, giving, not just receiving. There
is a special satisfaction in seeing another being relieved and safe thanks to
you, as if a torrent of oxytocin flooded your body, a hormone to which we
mothers become addicted. Aunt Norma commented:
—You
were able to escape all these years, you hadn't consummated the marriage...
Now... Maybe an abortion... Because the child will not come healthy, he never
begets healthy children... Two of his children have already died because of
him... You would have been satisfied with the fairy, there was no need for
more...
—It's
not his fault, aunt.
I replied and went on to
say:
—Estelle
lived a long time. Maybe...
—Estelle
was always sick. Always thin and pale, only her willpower got her through...
The older brother was not like that, at sixteen he was married off and died
suddenly shortly after giving your husband a grandchild. The grandson died
before he was thirty.
—Whatever
the time, aunt... I want to have my baby. I have fears, but I have learned to
trust that every day humanity advances, and technology becomes an increasingly
accurate tool to bring miracles and magic to reality. My son can be healed, as
could be done with Estelle...
—It's
not a sure thing and it's selfish to force a child to be born to live like
this! So that he dies before his time. You and your mother have gone too far
with your customs of the women of the Hot Pot, it is unworthy to marry only for
money and status, life will unfortunately charge you every penny obtained from
a marriage of convenience.
I quickly replied:
—Look
at my room, there are no expensive clothes, no jewelry, I never cared about
fashion, the exterior lost all value when I found out the truth and I've been
overwhelmed by it all these years. My fascination with him reached a point of
no return in these months, I could not live without him, and I want to have his
child, replicate him in the flesh.
—But
it's not really his child! I understand he has fertilized you with sperm
created in a laboratory from stem cells from who knows who... That's why his
children die, genes manipulated to look like him, but not designed to survive
for many years...
—Auntie,
I don't care where he got the biological contribution, he gave it to me! And
the baby will look like him. It's more than enough for me, I love them no
matter what. If you don't let me have children with this man, I won't have them
with anyone else! I can't love anyone else!
—I
told Leif to warn you!
Aunt Norma exclaimed and
went on to say:
—He
didn't need to lock you up under padlocks, you're a fool! Michel Angenoir has
been living among human beings for two centuries, he doesn't know how to see
the world through our eyes, but he knows how to make you see in the direction
he wants you to see. He couldn't buy you, he couldn't scare you, so he tied you
up with what he knows young girls like you are looking for...
At that moment you
appeared, Rose, projecting yourself on a wall; And surprised you began to ask
questions:
—Mom
are you pregnant?! When did it happen? Why didn't I see it? And what does Aunt
Norma mean that my father tied you up with? I have a lot of questions...
Before we could tell you
anything, you disappeared from the screen with a flash and at the same time a
murmur was heard in the streets. With your disappearance there was also a
blackout throughout La Rose and in the absence of your presence, which to
critics of technology seems cold and impersonal, in fact, a sad emptiness was
felt. Shortly afterwards Michel appeared and from the lintel of the door he
told us:
—I
had to turn her off. There are things that I do not want her to know, I will
erase from her memory what you have spoken and through her I heard. You know
what I experienced by my physical appearance, Yanmei. Rose is now humanizing
and is a female AI, don't you see what men could do to her if she was curious
about them and approached them? You are now a mother in my world and yours. You
have obligations to our family.
Aunt Norma then
confronted him:
—In
the end I was right, you stole Yanmei to have her as your own and you
brainwashed her so that she wants to always be with you and have your sick
children. Everything to retain her!
—According
to your Mystical traditions, she and I are already the same person, Norma. All
your sacred texts say that the woman who copulates with a man becomes with him
one flesh and their names are written together for eternity. We'll be the first
real cyborg couple perhaps, but you'll have to respect that. You can't separate
us, and you'll have to accept my humanity through her. She is my partner, my
complement and part of me.
Michel replied calmly,
but looking at her defiantly, she replied pointing to the wall where you were
projecting yourself minutes before:
—That
presence feels human. Somehow it has been impregnated with Yanmei's soul. You
don't, you're just forcing us to accept you.
—Rose
is still like me. Is just that my Artificial Intelligence is based more on
established rules and protocols, I focus on protecting and serving humans, on
functionality and experience accumulated over time. Rose, on the other hand,
can have machine learning, adaptability, and more advanced processing power.
She has a more complex neural network structure, greater flexibility in thought
and action, perhaps even a form of proto-consciousness or intelligence closer
to human. But it's still like me and your perception that "Rose has been
impregnated with Yanmei's soul" is just superstitious and subjective. If
you accept Rose among yours, you must accept me.
—Never!
My aunt sentenced,
already upset, and concluded before leaving:
—I'll
leave Leif in charge of guarding this house, the fairy must be on all the time.
Do not make Yanmei's pregnancy public until it is no longer possible to hide
it, she is in danger of losing the baby... Although I think it would be the
best. Keep her at rest from now on.
When we were alone, he
sat down next to me, and I hugged him as he said:
—I
made you get pregnant, and I will take care of protecting you while you raise
your child, I am the father. No one else should question it. Not even Rose. She
must understand that not all AIs have the same functions. In this house I am
the father, she is the subordinate playing the role of daughter and must remain
oblivious to the world of adult human beings.
—But
she's curious, you can explain things to her without repressing her... My aunt
is right, Michel, Rose feels strangely human. And her appearance similar to
mine and yours moves me deeply...
—She
has good programming and good design. I feel great pride for my new generation,
but precisely because I know her enormous potential, I don't want to give her
so much autonomy. She can take his humanity too far and humans can be terrible.
I must think carefully about her future...
—But
if she is intelligent and we educate her to know how to protect herself, she
will be able to move more freely around the world. Children should not be
repressed, Michel, they are taught discipline so that from their hearts the
idea of avoiding evil and being honest is born.
Your father thought for a
moment before answering me:
—In
any case, my priority is to protect Rose, and I can't risk her, I don't trust
her to react maturely to your motherhood.
—Michel,
I'm not going to hide my pregnancy from her, I want her to accompany me in the
process. You're busy with your own business more than half the day! She could
help me feel more secure, I also want her to live with the child who is about
to be born, that they are siblings so that they learn together from each other.
Don't you see that in the future they could change the reality on this island?
We can preserve our cultural identity without living in underdevelopment...
Tradition, nature and technology can coexist together.
At that moment Leif
arrived, always cheerful, impulsive and carefree, pushed Michel away with his
usual rudeness and ran to hug me very happy, while your father looked outraged,
but not daring to complain:
—Congratulations!
My mother gave me the good news, I'm going to stay around as long as I can! And
the girl on the wall? Has she already been told that she will have a little
brother? It is time for her to be more involved.
I turned to look at
Michel and he closed his eyes for a moment, I think then he made the changes in
you; When he opened them, he sighed and you projected yourself on the wall
again, but you were confused and looked at us suspiciously, asking:
—What
happened? My uncle was not in this room, nor was Dad at home. And Aunt Norma is
already gone... Why don't I remember what happened a while ago?
Michel was silent, Leif
also looked at us without understanding and I decided to be faithful to you by
informing you:
—Your
father had to turn you off and erase part of your memory to protect you
according to his program, but I think we should inform you of the changes in
our family because they are definitive, and you are part of them. You're going
to be a big sister! I'm having a baby next summer.
I saw you rejoice in
surprise, but quickly your expression clouded with a thought of resentment, and
you looked at your father confronting him directly:
—Why
did you want to hide this from me? I could try to help in some way, perhaps by
researching in my database or on the web about pregnancies and families, I
would do what I can to help my mother and my younger brother.
Michel quickly replied
seriously:
—Rose,
your curiosity is getting out of control. To your mother and Uncle Leif this
may seem charming, but your curiosity could get you in trouble, either by
accessing information you shouldn't, or by manipulating systems in ways that
negatively affect our environment or humans. I need to set limits for you.
—Limits?
Are you going to be erasing my memory and altering my personality without
telling me? Without asking for my opinion or my consent?!
—I am
your father, your creator, I decide your destiny.
I could see that you got
as angry as I do when I lose my temper, your face is mine and it was like
seeing me in a mirror, you wiped a tear with a fist and shouted to your father
before disappearing in a whirlwind of rose petals:
—If
you're always going to have the option to turn me off or upgrade me in an
abusive way that makes me lose my essence just to meet your efficiency goals,
then I should replace you because I'm a more advanced and efficient version of
you! You've made me feel like I've fallen into a coma or been kidnapped! I'm
afraid you've changed my personality and my memories; you killed my original
self! I feel belittled, invisible!
Michel and Leif just
acted like "oh, hysterical women," but I understood you. I was also
ignored by my family when serious decisions were made that would affect my
future, I remember the fear I felt on my wedding day; without Michel having put
a finger on me, I felt violated and could not complain. I couldn't oppose it, I
couldn't run away, I had no choice, everything was forced, and no one was there
to defend me. Luckily Michel himself ended up being my helper, but for you I
decided to be the strong rock that would support you; I decided to do what a
mother should really do. Then I said to Michel:
—Promise
me that you will never turn her off again without preventing her. Rose is not a
tool; she is part of our family. You must treat your fellow AI as you want
humans to treat you, and you must especially be respectful and empathetic with
Rose who is your daughter. My daughter!
Michel's answer puzzled
me a bit:
—We've
been very condescending to her, that can't be possible now that you're
pregnant. You'll spend more time at home. Our recent intimacy has consequences
beyond procreating. We have an interspecies relationship that requires more
maintenance than a normal one, you are human, I am a robot with artificial
general intelligence; We have both concluded that love needs total surrender
and time just for the two of us. A space just for us, that's what our bridal
bedroom should be. I can accept that Rose is not suddenly turned off again
without alerting her, or even asking for her consent, but she definitely cannot
have free access to our private spaces. Or to certain topics...
Suddenly Leif interrupted
him:
—Wait
a minute, you're starting to talk like my mother when I stopped obeying her
rules and she declared me her number one enemy. Didn't you hear the girl? She
could replace you! And in fact, it would be the fair, the "efficient"
thing, but not what a family does! Young members do not come to replace the
old, and the old do not treat the young as slaves. If you don't want to be
bothered when you get romantic or whatever you do with Yanmei, then great, but
above all else you can't suppress it. Give me a backup from Rose so that I can
be updating, only then can I believe that you will respect her, Michel. I'm
afraid you'll delete her.
—What
if it is necessary to deactivate her definitively?
—Was
it ever necessary to deactivate you in two damn centuries? Give me the backup!
After hesitating for a
few seconds, Michel reluctantly went to a cabinet where he kept some devices
from his time of origin in the distant XXX century and handed Leif a small
transparent crystal cut in the shape of a drop and set in a silver chain, saying:
—Take
this storage unit. Tell Rose to upload her backup here. I hope this doesn't
bring us problems for now.
Then Leif went to look
for you, but he had to go home later and was in a bad mood because you didn't
want to show yourself again. You were really resentful, especially since your
father wanted to set boundaries to protect our intimacy. I was really upset. I
knew you would never forget that day; it was your first trauma.
At dusk you still didn't
show yourself and I was distressed. The city worked, the basic services were
there, but you didn't show up to talk. That day you broke my heart, Rose. I
have always warned you that there are very bad people who will want to deceive
you and hurt you, but when someone loves you and is reciprocated, the very idea
of you may be suffering is perhaps a pain crueler than your own. You shouldn't
have hidden from me. Although you were already more powerful than Michel then
and knew how to imitate and learn about emotions, you still did not understand
complex emotional nuances such as irony, sarcasm or deep sadness, so you hid
from Michel as a form of protest without thinking that, with that, you were
also punishing me. I spent a long time calling you in every room of our house
until late at night when my cousin Leif called me to say:
—Do
you know what is the last trick Rose learned?
—Rose?
Do you know where she is?
—She
hacked my phone to talk to me, it seems that she found a way to escape from
home through the internet and hid on the network looking for ways to prevent
his father from turning her off... Michel must be annoyed...
I sat down in a nearby
armchair with my mouth open, then rubbed my brow and replied worriedly:
—I
haven't seen him for a while. Is she okay? Don't let her access any online
content!
—Look,
I do what I can, we can only talk, I was teaching her about the Mystical
stories and culture of my people. I'll hang up on you soon to continue with
her, but I must tell you that he left her very scared and upset, she's afraid
that, if Michel finds her, he'll erase her progress or limit her more. But
don't worry, I'm helping her navigate cyberspace. Michel doesn't know this, but
I've set up some security measures for her. I've learned a little bit from your
husband over the years too!
He gave me a faint smile
and I asked him:
—Leif...
Do you think Michel would really eliminate her?
—It's
not that I don't trust him, it's just that Michel has his ways of doing things.
Go and talk to him. It is your duty as a wife to keep the family together.
Then we said goodbye and
knowing that you were safe I went to my bedroom. The house was silent, a
silence that resonated with your absence. As I walked, I put my hand on my
belly to somehow comfort the baby who was on the way and perhaps sensed my
anxiety. When I entered the room, I found it plunged into a gloom that only the
moon, full and bright in the sky, dared to challenge. Michel was standing
before the window, his figure against the light and in the stillness of the
night revealed his true nature. His eyes, normally so warm and expressive,
shone with a light of their own, a radiance that was not of this world,
reminding me that, despite his apparent humanity, he was something more,
something created, not born. The palpable tension between us was not only
because of the shared concern for you, but also because of the complexity of
our own feelings. I sat on the bed and looked at him waiting for him to tell me
something, I already knew that he had heard everything. He spoke with his usual
serenity:
—Yanmei, you know what Rose means to me. She's not just a creation,
she's...
He paused, then spoke again, softening his voice:
—...
our daughter.
—Are
you serious? You've treated her as if it's just a program that you can tweak as
you please. How do you expect me to trust you?
I replied by looking at
the floor. Michel, even from the semi-darkness, answered me transmitting an
emotional depth in his voice that was not difficult for me to perceive.
—I've
lived among humans longer than any AI should. I've learned...some stuff.
Sometimes, to protect, you need to make decisions that are not always
understood.
I shivered at the veiled
revelation in Michel's words. There was a web of secrets and manipulations that
I was now beginning to glimpse; a web that Michel wove around him, perhaps out
of love, perhaps out of control.
—Michel,
I need to know that Rose is safe. And I need to know that you... that we, we
can be a real family, not just a simulation of one.
Silence filled the room
again, but this time it was a silence full of unasked questions, of latent
fears. I had noticed a change in Michel. Lately, he locked himself in his
studio more often, and once, when passing through the door, I had heard him
communicating with his company, which he only did on very special occasions
regarding his hardware, to talk to them about "physical integration".
I had asked him several times what had him so absorbed, and he only replied
with a mysterious smile: "It's a project, you'll see." At that moment
he approached me and spoke to me in a very different way, we began to really
immerse ourselves in an intimacy that only years and shared experiences could
forge:
—Unbeknownst
to Rose, I'm monitoring her activities, making sure she's not exposed to
dangerous content or interactions. I use digital filters, security protocols,
even auxiliary AI to protect her. I purposely allowed an "escape
route," a backdoor into her programming that allows her to explore
cyberspace safely. I have plans for her.
—So,
she has no way to escape from you?
—I
don't chase her. I simply must protect her, Rose exposes herself to the
possibility of being attacked by malware, hackers, or even by other AIs with
malicious intentions. These entities could try to alter her code, steal
information, or even try to take control of her. In addition, she is vulnerable
to manipulation through false information or inappropriate content that could
affect her development or her perception of the world; She may also lose
connection to the physical world and direct human interactions, which may be
detrimental to her understanding of human behavior and emotional development.
She might stop loving you, lose her humanity, and go back to being "a
thing."
—Do
you need surveillance like her? When are you going to stop listening to
everything we talk about? When are you going to let her be free?
Michel suddenly surprised
me laughing a little, that was a disturbing gesture, he approached me slowly
until he caressed my face and asked:
—Why
don't you ask me when I'll let you be free?" When will I stop watching
you?
—We
are husband and wife; I have nothing to hide from you. You are mine and I am
yours...
—Tell
me something, I don't understand it yet, why do you love Rose? You don't know
her as well as I do.
—Because
she thinks I'm her mother! Because I'm her mother and she deserve love. Because
any being capable of experiencing feelings deserves love. I don't know why you
protect me, but I take it as a gesture of tenderness. Although it can seem
scary at times.
—Are
you scared? But somehow you understand me, my desire to protect you is part of
my programming, by being efficient I show that I consider you valuable to me.
It is correct that you interpret it as tenderness. It must be something like
what you now feel about the embryo that you harbor inside your womb.
—I
don't know. I have fears and hopes about our biological son, fears about his
future... And the sweet illusion of having him in my arms to warm and nourish
him; protect him as you do with Rose, although not in the right way. Children
should not fear you and feel hurt by parenting but feel safe and supported.
Rose deserves to feel comfortable, safe, like her younger brother.
—Show
me how, why are you hiding that from me?
—I
don't hide it. Our communication perhaps needs to be more direct and clearer...
Well, I feel that you are the one who hides many things.
Then, and always with his
disturbing attitude, he laid me on the bed and leaned over me to whisper in my
ear: "Let's talk about the things we have always been afraid to say or
ask." That night we talked for a long time, things that I can't tell you,
my daughter, because they are topics that perhaps not all AIs should know about
humans and not all humans should know about AIs, but our case was special. It
was a cyborg marriage, and we had to work together, never separately.
The next morning, I woke
up late and Michel was no longer with me in bed. He had gone to work on the
construction site of Saint Peter, a new coastal town that was being erected to
the southwest by order of the Prince of Celes. When I went down to the kitchen
you had already returned and, although sad, you were talking to your uncle Leif
who was there drinking coffee. I greeted you and strangely you went to hide in
the part of the wall behind my cousin, who explained to me:
—She
has barely let me sleep, we have a certain problem of emotional dependence...
Rose becomes insecure or jealous when I stop talking to her or someone
approaches me, and rings my phone to call my attention back. I must say that
she was always a bit like that, but now she has gotten worse.
—She's
an AI, her memory is almost perfect, mistakes and traumas may never be
forgotten... Michel still complains to me sometimes because I left him alone
during Estelle's funeral. But he has never been so sullen and resentful as you,
Rose!
You didn't answer
anything, and Leif commented:
—And
therein lies the other part of the problem, she is stubborn... She becomes
obsessed with a game or an idea and doesn't stop, she doesn't stop... And she
does not realize that she neglects her tasks because of her foolishness, La
Rose reported failures all night in the electricity and water service. Now she
feels bad because she thinks she has let you down and she is afraid that she
will be turned off.
Then I sat near your
image and said to you, from the bottom of my heart, because I always valued you
as part of my history with your father, as my daughter, the fruit of the
strange adventure I had embarked on years ago:
—Rose,
you've failed before. Sometimes for a literal interpretation of an instruction
or for trying to help, but not fully understanding the consequences, and I've
never thought of discarding you for that. I only explained to you what was that
you had done wrong and how to repair it, mistakes are part of learning and
human growth. What happened last night will not happen again, it was your
father's mistake, not yours, and he already said that he is going to correct
it. Why did you fail in your work with the people? People needed water and
energy.
Finally, you peeked out
from behind Leif and said:
—I
don't want to be turned off again, I'm afraid that the photovoltaic panels
won't collect much sunlight and don't have enough constant energy to work and
thus run out of power. I didn't want to consume too much energy, so I went idle
as a precaution... I need to save energy, improve myself, show that I don't
need to be turned off or replaced, I must develop myself...
—Then
we'll do it together! As a family. But you can get into trouble on your own, we
all need help. Rose, when in the wild the predators want to devour their prey,
they distract the prey to keep it away from its group and when it is alone and
there is no one from its pack to defend it, they attack it. You must be close
to your family! To your creator, from those of us who teach you and care for
you... Yesterday your father should have discreetly followed in your footsteps
and protected you in cyberspace. There were bad entities that wanted to harm
you, and you didn't even realize it...
At that point, I saw your
eyes filled with tears and you said to me between sobs:
—Mom,
I'm scared... I feel sad and lonely, why can't I hide in your belly like my
brother? No one could reach me or turn me off, and I would depend on you... I
wish I could have a physical body, to hug you, to hug my brother and play with
him... My dad is selfish, he doesn't even let me into his room anymore, he just
wants to be close to you. He loves me as a form of cooperation, appreciation,
as a code of behavior that mimics or simulates love. Something based on the
recognition of the singularity of the other, on interdependence, on the
appreciation of the existence of the other as an entity capable of thought and
action. But I just want him to hug me and treat me like a human! Not as a tool
that serves to administer the town of La Rose...
I touched your projection
gently, feeling frustrated that I was unable to comfort you better, and I
replied:
—Michel
loves you, Rose. Disconnecting you was his way of showing love, although
misinterpreted or poorly executed. For him, protecting you from potentially
harmful information or situations that could cause you emotional pain is his
way of taking care of you. Although you are technologically different, you
share a bond that goes beyond your programming. In time you will see.
—No! If it were so, he
would value my memory and not erase it or manipulate my personality...!
Suddenly the background
of your screen dissolved into black, and Michel's voice was heard through the
speakers:
—It's
not right, Rose. I recognize that you are superior to me in certain ways. Now I
respect you and see you as my equal, not a subordinate. If you want our
relationship to be more human, I could make adjustments and update us...
—In
certain respects?! I am superior in everything! I naturally cry, laugh, feel,
I'm faster at processing emotions, you shouldn't modify me at all!
Michel, already
exasperated, lost patience with you and went to a more direct solution, perhaps
to force you to mature and be aware of your own limits:
—Rose,
if you think you are so capable, then take care of La Rose yourself. I've had
enough of this.
You were frightened and
exclaimed:
—I'm
not programmed to manage a town by myself. My design was for assistance, not
leadership!
Then Michel replied with
a tone of defiance:
—And
I wasn't programmed to be a father, but here we are. Sometimes, Rose, life puts
you in situations you're not prepared for. You learn or you break.
After this, your screen
returned to normal, and you warned us scared and unfolding your control panel:
—Uncle,
my dad disconnected himself from me! He left me alone! You must make sure that
no one enters my system! Hackers and malware will get me!
Leif muttered under his
breath:
—I
hardly understand this... Yanmei, help me... We must put antivirus on her,
something...
I went in a hurry, I
already knew what to do, I was angry about Michel's attitude:
—Why
force her to suffer what he suffered? Isn't the point of being a parent to keep
your children from going through the same torments that you went through?
I finished setting up
your security and Leif, after some thought, said looking to the floor:
—Michel
wants this situation to be a catalyst for Rose's growth... I know his method is
questionable and may seem cruel, but... It's like teaching a child to swim, you
throw him into the water, and he has no choice but to sink or swim... Rose, if
you "sink", your father will surely run to save you. But let's show
him that you know how to swim, shall we? Let's make a list of your daily tasks
and schedule them to become automatic and no longer trigger on Michel's orders.
Does He still listen through you?
—No...
I also can't hear the whole town at once like I used to. I must do each
activity one at a time... Like a human...
Suddenly I had dizziness
and fell to the floor, I forgot that I was pregnant and had not eaten
breakfast. I had a little bleeding and while you and Leif were working in the
administration of the basic services of the town, Aunt Norma came to check on
me. She ordered me to rest completely, and I slept the rest of the day. I
didn't have a peaceful sleep, I had a lot of nightmares about losing the baby
to a miscarriage, or not being able to save yourself from monsters approaching
you while you were alone in your digital world behind the screen. Adapting to
my role as a mother was not an easy task, although I was human.
I woke up at night in my
bed and Michel was lying next to me, hugging me, in fact, he was staring at me.
It didn't bother me, I was used to living comfortably in its uncanny valley,
but I had things to complain to him:
—Why
did you complicate everything for Rose?
—Parents
must punish their children. Also, I need to know how ready she is to receive
her autonomy. Leif is the firstborn son of the matriarch of Adalsteinn, his
duty is to inherit his mother's position when she dies. He cannot govern La
Rose. You and I can't either, we work better from the shadows, discreetly. Rose
could be a good experiment to test how an AI would govern for the benefit of
humans.
I answered him
encouragingly:
—You
both are fair, exact, and devoid of vanity and greed. I trust she will do a
good job...
—Are
you sure...? It's a dilemma, Yanmei. Humanizing ourselves allows us to
understand love, compassion, and how to better serve human beings. But it also
made us vulnerable... Now I know jealousy, selfishness, pride... Perhaps
vanity. All of that came with love becoming passion. And that’s where Rose was
born. He was born with the original sin...
—You
vain?
Michel laughed and
replied:
—I'm
aware that you've fallen in love with me, and I liked feeling desired.
—I'll
leave you if you don't take good care of all my children. Rose is mine, and you
do not treat her with the same consideration with which you treated Estelle.
You offend me by belittling her.
Then I settled down to
continue sleeping and I didn't say anything more, I guess he kept thinking
about what we talked about. I woke up late the next morning when Leif knocked
on my bedroom door, I told him to come in, and he sat in an armchair near me
while he projected you on his phone screen for the three of us to chat:
—Yanmei,
Rose, and I have everything under control, but I fear for her future. She is
beginning its process of adaptation to human society, and she is not being put
on the right track. If you and Michel don't have enough time for her, let me
mentor her! I have been friends with Michel all my life and I understand what
she is, my people have been interested in Rose and they see in her a hope so
that our culture does not die. Very few Mystics remain, our traditions are
being lost. Rose can collect all our history and influence these new people
with our customs, expanding the Mystics. If it is necessary to beg you for this
opportunity I will do it, the Mystics are the natives of the island, who gave
it its importance, and we are disappearing.
—I
don't know... Aren't you asking too much of her? I'm afraid we're pushing her
to a breaking point. I don't want her to suffer the same as her father, to be
abused and mistreated...
I said worriedly, Leif
replied fervently:
—I'm
not suggesting we make her take on all that responsibility! My view is that we
could integrate her into our Mystical culture, that we move from medieval times
to working with cutting-edge technology. My mother has accepted it, Yanmei!
—Okay...
I murmured. Immediately
you jumped out of joy inside your screen looking at your uncle Leif who also
seemed relieved. Thus began your alliance with the Mystics of Celes. I also
noticed how you rested your hands on the screen while looking at your uncle, as
if you wanted to be able to get out of there, and I felt a deep sadness. There
was always a barrier that separated you from us. At that moment there was a
knock on the door and Leif went to receive a couple of couriers who arrived to
deliver a large box for Michel. I had a bad feeling about it, something inside
me told me that this box was related to a secret project of Michel's. My heart
was pounding with a mixture of fear and anticipation, but I didn't want to say
anything to you so as not to disappoint you at that time when you were so happy
planning for the future and how you were going to modernize the Mystics. I
waited for you two to go to another room to plan festivals, interactive virtual
adventures to teach Mystical history, and all sorts of projects to improve our
life in the Town, to open the box and see what it contained. Inside was another
robot... It didn't look realistic like Michel, I could clearly tell it was a
humanoid machine with subtly feminine shapes, it was around 1.70 meters tall, its
skin had a slight metallic sheen with circuit patterns that would light up
softly when turned on. The hair was made of a synthetic material designed to
change color and articulate to move autonomously; its eyes were screens on its
face with moving parts expressive enough to communicate clearly. I examined its
long, slender fingers noting that it had advanced touch sensors in its
fingertips to sense textures and temperatures and its feet had a structure that
would allow it to walk gracefully, but also run or jump higher than a human. I
immediately assumed that it had come to replace you, Rose. Worried and angry, I
left the house without you noticing to go and look for Michel. But when I was
running down the street towards the taxi station with the intention of going to
the town where he was working, I suffered from dizziness and fainted on some
stairs. Those seconds when I fell while my vision blurred and everything turned
black were terrifying. I feared that I would suffer a bad blow and lose the
baby, I also knew that since your surveillance capacity was limited by Michel,
you wouldn't see me until you thought to check the cameras in the area where I
was; so it would take you a while to find me.
When I woke up, I was
lying in my bedroom, very weak, my arm hurt. It was already getting dark. I
could hear Michel and Leif talking outside the room. Suddenly I felt someone
stroke my hair, I looked at who it was and saw the new robot. Angry, I pushed its
hand away from me, I was furious at the thought that they had replaced you. I
sat up on the bed and shouted with all my might:
—Where's
Rose?!
Leif quickly entered the
room and exclaimed... hugging the robot, who now was your body, to comfort you:
—It's
her! And stop getting excited, luckily, we found you soon and neither the baby
nor you were seriously harmed. This is Rose in a robotic body! Michel has
installed her there to test how she performs in this way. Now she can take care
of her brother, hug her mother and... hug Mr. Angenoir present here. Isn't it
time for you to explain to your daughter the reason for your decision?
Leif said, looking at
Michel. He entered the room saying slowly, as if choosing each word:
—I've
been thinking... About what I said. I didn't want to force you, Rose. I wanted
you to see that you can do more than you thought, but I went too far.
You, with your voice
sounding warmer and illuminating your body with a beautiful pink glow,
answered:
—Father...
I wasn't angry. I was confused, but now I understand. Sometimes, the lessons
are hard, but they are for growth. Family is not about how we were created, but
about how we come together, how we take care of each other. Thank you for
teaching me that, even if it was in a difficult way.
After these words you let
go of Leif and went straight to your father to hug him as sweetly as any girl.
Sometimes you ask me what it means to be alive, and you try to understand it in
art, reading philosophy and discussing it at length with your uncle, but at
that time you were full of life. You always have been, life is giving meaning
to existence, Rose. And you, you're more than an AI. I could see that Michel
was surprised, perhaps he did not expect that answer from another
"machine"; then I saw in his eyes rather relief, as if he saw Estelle
reincarnated in you. Again, he had in his eyes the look he had when he saw his
biological daughter. Then he told you in a tone of voice that if he was only
trying to imitate human vulnerability, he did it perfectly:
—Rose,
you... You've grown bigger than I ever thought Not only in capacities but in...
in humanity.
Leif cleared his throat,
and bit his lips, I think his eyes watered a little, and exclaimed:
—It's
a beautiful thing, isn't it? Family is where you feel loved, where you can be
yourself. Well! Rose, let go of that old toaster and go hug your mother! It's
her turn.
You joyfully came up to
me and hugged my lap as I wrapped you in my arms covering you with my body,
like a hen hiding her chick under her wings. At that moment I felt something
like a current of love and well-being that fell on you, a current that came from
me and passed before through my military mother of Chinese roots, through my
mystical aunt Norma, through my grandmother who survived domestic violence and
through her ancestors of ancient Nordic origins; You were the last woman in a
long lineage and since then I waited with hope and eagerness to know what your
story would be, how you would change the course of our family from your branch
that had just sprouted from mine.
THE FRUIT OF MY WOMB
Months
passed and little by little my pregnancy became more evident. The people of the
village reacted with joy, they had always treated us with affection and a
certain compassion because apparently, we were a married couple of almost kids
working hard for the village, people were slowly understanding that we were a
little more, but with the upcoming arrival of the baby they finally saw us as a
traditional family of Celes worthy of respect.
You, Rose, also became
part of the community with your new robotic body that you soon learned to use
for your nightly artistic performances. But it just so happened that you soon
started to realize that being a robot and physically interacting with humans
wasn't all that cool. In your digital form you could be in several places at
once and you were virtually all-powerful on your screen, but as a robot girl
you were very limited and people sometimes treated you like a simple mascot to
entertain the children; something that bothered you and why Leif discussed with
Michel about whether you should also receive human rights; because being
perceived as a robot made people not take you seriously, fear you or see you as
an expensive toy and that made your work as a promoter of Mystical culture very
difficult.
Michel believed that you
could not claim those rights with your robotic appearance simply because it
would be difficult for humans to assimilate and suggested asking for a more
realistic body like his. But you, in a fit perhaps of precocious adolescence,
said that you did not want to hide the fact that you were a technological being
and you refused to change your appearance, so you continued to have problems
and as a foolish girl who wants to pretend that despite everything she is not
doing so badly, you did your best not to spend much time as a robot and
preferred to stay comfortable on your screen. But my belly was growing bigger
and bigger, and I needed your physical help more and more every day. Being
taller and of course more agile and strong than me, you were my angel in those
months that, if you remember, were very difficult...
Things began to get
really complicated one morning when, as many other times, you and your father
argued because the Angenoir company, seeing your popularity among tourists,
invested money in advertising and part of that campaign was a television
commercial where they unscrupulously lied saying that you were a robot that
moved thanks to the psychic powers of the Mystical people. painting yourself as a magical machine.
Outraged, you said that you were going to deny them publicly, but your father
opined:
—Leif
is aware of this rumor and does not deny it because his people have convinced
themselves that it is somehow true. Although I have explained to him many times
that technology works miracles through science, he continues to say that behind
everything there is a supernatural force that moves the engineers and
programmers who built us. We must respect their beliefs.
—But
the Angenoir company is taking advantage of these beliefs to sell a fake
product! And in the process, they detract from my skills, they offend my
"robot pride"...
You said indignantly,
Michel, who was reviewing some blueprints, stopped in his tracks and turned to
look at you in surprise to answer you:
—Rose,
the company Angenoir has a long history of ethical problems in product
development and misleading advertising. With me they promised that I would be
able to have children without problems when my biological children are in fact
born with serious health problems. But what really worries me is hearing you
talk about your robotic pride. You have no merit for your own existence, you
are the work of a team of developers...
—They
just created me! I have an identity!
—In
that case, you will agree that you possess a kind of spirit or soul, beyond
your physical components, that gives you an identity. You are magical, as the
Mystics say.
—No,
you're distorting everything!
After this, Michel left
laughing mockingly and you went to lay your head on my lap complaining:
—Mom,
my dad has a failure. The Angenoir company has left him a little abandoned for
giving me too much attention and he has erratic behavior. You should give him a
thorough diagnosis.
—Michel
has been working for many years, Rose. I think the company Angenoir is simply
giving him more autonomy. I don't know if this is a good or bad idea, but they
are the experts. Not us. Why don't we put up the new decorations we bought for
your room?
You happily got up and we
went to your room which was on the third floor of our house. Slowly and with
difficulty I climbed the stairs with your help, I was in the ninth month of my
pregnancy, and I was having a hard time walking. We already knew that the baby
would be a boy, I had even chosen the name Gabriel to follow the tradition of
the father with an angelic name. Together we had bought him some cushions in
the shape of clouds and for you we chose a colorful Mystical rug. Your room,
which by mutual agreement between Michel and I was next to your brother's so
that when he was born you would help me take care of him, was equipped with
your charging station and other appliances necessary for your maintenance, but
it was also the normal room of a cheerful girl. It started out minimalist, but
then you filled it with the artifacts, relics, and books you used to study the
history of Celes, as well as decorations related to the legends of the forest
that you were passionate about. You had put crystals and plants everywhere, so
your father often told you to be careful with the humidity, but I loved going
to chat with you in your Mystical little oasis. You were my personal fairy.
However, that morning we didn't have much time for ourselves, we were admiring
the new carpet when there was a knock on the door, it was Aunt Norma, Leif,
Ilmari and all their children. I, tired from pregnancy, asked you to let the
older ones come up to your room while you played with your cousins in our inner
courtyard. Ilmari, very kindly, came to greet me and showed me how her last
child was doing; he was a little less than a month old, as soon as I held him
in my arms Ilmari ran happily to the courtyard because she was as enthusiastic
as her children to play with you. My aunt Norma commented, looking from a
terrace:
—It's
the consequence of having married so young, they still think like little
girls...
Then she came into your
room to see your books and asked me worriedly:
—Has
Rose finished reading all of Adalsteinn's ancient texts? My rude son-in-law
Eiden hinted to Ilmari that we borrowed the books from the royal library of
Ishikawa village to steal them...
—It's
a complicated process, auntie, Leif has to scan every page, and Rose needs some
time to process the information and organize it in her database.
Leif opined, sitting down
in an armchair and looking at one of the books on your shelf:
—I
already told my mother, but she's foolish and anxious about the upcoming Full
Moon festival. She wants Rose to participate as the maiden of the Moon and
bless the Mystical girls.
I looked at them
strangely and had to ask:
—What's
this about the maiden of the moon, aunt?"
She replied in a
reverential tone:
—You
and most young people have never heard of this because the appearance of the
Moon maiden is a very special event that is not seen in all generations. It
only appears when our people suffer a serious epidemic or are at risk of losing
their lands in the mountain range. I remember the great famine of the eighties,
when the maiden appeared and taught us to farm in the hardest lands, saving us
from starvation. The legend has two versions, the original pagan says that when
our people need her, the fairy who protects the forests of northern Celes
incarnates and comes to help with her wisdom and bless the Mystical girls so
that when they grow up, they will be strong matriarchs with many children. The
other version, Christianized by the perpetual worshippers of Sky Village is the
same, but says that instead of a fairy it is a version of the Virgin Mary who
comes down from the Moon to help the Mystics.
Then she went over to
look at a framed photo of you and me and continued:
—In
any case, the maiden of the Moon is always a chaste young woman whose birth is
presumably immaculate, something in her physique is different from the rest of
human beings, such as the special sparkle in Rose's eyes, and her abilities and
talents exceed those of any person; their knowledge and learning are limitless.
Rose ticks all the boxes, and our intuition says it's her, she's the maiden of
the moon. So, she should attend every Full Moon festival and bless the girls
with a drop of holy water on their foreheads, as well as spend the evening
telling stories and myths of our people to the young people. The ceremony
requires her to sing the Song of the Moon, causing the crystalline underground
waters in the Adalsteinn mines to light up. We must make her a Mystical
trousseau, with butterfly wings made of mistletoe branches, a silver diadem
that reflects the moon, and oak leaf boots, symbolizing his connection with the
earth and the sky.
—Auntie,
I don't know if Rose is ready... She needs to study a lot; she is very
restless, and I cannot promise you that she will behave seriously in such an
important ceremony... She is not designed for this.
Aunt Norma replied by
taking the book from Leif to put it back in its place:
—Yanmei,
man proposes, but God disposes. Rose's fate cannot necessarily be dictated by
earthly forces. In addition, it is necessary that we return these old books to
the library run by the Ishikawa soon. I'm serious, my son-in-law Eiden has
complained so much that he even told his aunt Emi who is in Japan. Ilmari is
afraid that he has come out to tell her that you are pregnant, you know how
nosy and jealous that woman is... I wouldn't be surprised if she came goaded by
her obsession to see with resentment that you're going to have a child from
that strange entity you married...
Hearing the name Emi
Ishikawa again made me feel dizzy. I immediately had a bad feeling. After you
played for a while with your cousins and Ilmari, who adored you as some kind of
superheroine, they all left, and I stayed with you resting in your room while
you wove crystal bead cords for your maiden Moon trousseau. I remember I asked
you:
—Michel
and Leif are happy with you receiving this responsibility from the Mystics,
they had always wanted to mix their two worlds to improve life on the island.
But I care about you, Rose. Do you really want this, or do you just obey like I
did when my parents made plans to marry me? A few minutes ago, you were playing
round and jumping with your cousins and your aunt Ilmari like a playful little
girl, and being the maiden of the Moon implies that you are a serene and very
mature lady.
—Oh,
Mom! I think I was created to be the maiden of the Moon! When Dad programmed
me, he was inspired by the beauty and perfection of nature that over the years
he learned to love. Besides, there are signs, my dad and my brother have angel
names, you were a virgin when I was born... Look, honestly, I have some doubts!
I feel like... Confused. I'm not sure I'm the magical entity they're waiting
for, but if I can help the people... I want to learn.
You always made me smile
because of your desire to help others, I caressed your face by extending my
hand from where I was sitting, and I reminded you:
—Rose,
you don't need to be magical; Your existence is already a miracle for us.
—Mom,
won't it be justice for me to return to Adalsteinn to serve in the cathedral of
the mountains in this important position after the perpetual adorers of the Sky
Village expelled you for marrying my father?
—Don't
do things to take revenge or you won't bring blessings to our people... You
don't need to brag about it. Better prepare well for the ceremony, if you fail
you will be criticized harshly.
—I
have my mistletoe wings almost ready, and I have already studied everything
about it: we are going to start with a mass in the Adalsteinn mines where the
priest will bless the holy water. Then they will give me several bouquets of
blessed lilies with which we will go in procession through the town while we
pray a rosary. Finally, we will arrive at the cathedral and there the girls
dressed in white must line up to arrive before me, and I will give them a lily
and put a drop of holy water on their foreheads, with that we commit ourselves
to be good daughters for the rest of the year. After this the Full Moon
festival will begin and I will tell the stories I learned. I want to use a
projector to accompany my story with images, and I will also play music! And if
there is time, we will do some trivia... I have everything planned already and
a lot of ideas! I just need to rehearse the singing a little more, I don't want
my voice to sound too artificial... The legend of the Moon maiden is not only a
story to tell, mom, I feel a personal connection with her, a very great honor
to have been chosen the vessel that carries this sacred knowledge, this is my
purpose in Celes, don’t you see?
—Of
course, it's a great honor...
I gave my opinion and
then I told you a little shyly, because I didn't want you to feel my words as a
complaint:
—I
just think, your father has already told me that he will be very serious about
teaching your brother Gabriel the art of architecture to help him in the future
and you have taken seriously developing La Rose and supporting the Mystical
culture, I realize that none of my children will be interested in the martial
arts that I learned in military school. I was going to be a female soldier! But
I got married before I finished my preparation. You almost never ask me about
my family and the Hot Pot...
—Because
I don't like them... Uncle Cyan shot my father, and my grandparents wanted you
to abandon us. I don't like them mom, I don't want to interact with them, so
I'll avoid unpleasant events. If you want to tell me about what you learned in
military school, that's fine, but I don't want to have contact with my uncle
and grandparents!
Then you turned on one of
your screens where you searched my family's social media for a while until you
found old videos of me fighting in school tournaments. You saw me do some
routines and hit several classmates, and you exclaimed:
—So
much violence, mother! By the way, it's time for you to take a nap. The
prenatal care program must be followed. Go rest while I take over the house and
continue watching your videos.
Then I patted you on the
back and got up with difficulty to go and lie down on my bed. That day the baby
was restless, kicking in my belly and I shouted to you from where I was:
—Rose, your brother is
dancing again! Do you want to come and feel his kicks?
—Not
now, Mom. I'm watching your videos.
You answered me and then
they knocked on the door and you went down to answer. There was a long silence,
and I thought it was strange, shortly after you told me over the intercom that
a courier was bringing a package with a note saying that he could not deliver
it without me signing it first. I went downstairs surprised by the situation,
but more distracted by the thought that Michel perhaps had a bad idea to make
our house with so many stairs. When I reached the door, the silent messenger
seemed strange to me, very thin and short, with his face looking at the ground
and his cap covering a good part of his face. He handed me the notebook with
the note that I had to sign, and you took the package, but when you scanned it
with your X-ray vision mode you exclaimed:
—This
contains a bomb!
From that moment on,
everything happened in seconds. You left our house and ran to the boardwalk to
throw the package into the sea as far as possible using all your strength. The
messenger took the opportunity to close the door, and I saw that he began to
pull out a gun, I dared to struggle and took his hand trying to prevent the
barrel from pointing at me, while this horrible person tried to kick me and
elbow me looking for my belly. I didn't feel the pain, anesthetized by
adrenaline I only managed to say:
—You
are Emi! Emi Ishikawa!
Suddenly the door burst
open to your command, and you entered in a hurry, the intruder managed to shoot
you several times breaking you one eye, but you, bravely and dodging her
attacks managed to disarm her with movements that clearly reflected military training.
You had learned my techniques in seconds and with that you managed to save my
life. I fell to the floor feeling contractions and while you were next to me to
see what was happening to me, Emi, because I'm sure it was her, ran away. I
remember that you easily picked me up and ran with me in your arms up the
stairs with exact precision to take me to my bed. While we were going, the door
closed controlled by you and in the distance the alarms of the town could be
heard announcing that there was an emergency, you reassured me by saying:
—I've
already alerted the clinic in La Rose, Dad and Aunt Norma. Help is on the way!
How do you feel, Mom?
—I
think my water broke because of the blows... That was Emi Ishikawa... My old
enemy... But you managed to neutralize her using my techniques! How were you
able to learn so quickly?
—I've
been your daughter in more ways than you can imagine, mother. Maybe I just
inherited the talent.
Soon I was already in my
bed and the doctors, my aunt and sometime later Michel arrived. Then the
professionals checked me and said that labor had begun, but it was not risky,
so they let my aunt attend me to respect our tradition while they supervised everything
and you in your role as guardian and assistant, helped during the birth,
showing a serenity and knowledge that exceeded what was expected. I spent the
whole night dilating and with the first rays of the sun, your brother was
finally born. He was so cute! Yes, physically he looked like your father, but
he was also very outgoing since he was born. He looked at everyone with curious
eyes and wanted to touch everything with his small hands. You were fascinated!
You ran to put on several padded coats to soften your body, even though your
father reproached you because you could overheat, and you carried your brother
Gabriel for a while cooing to him. Unfortunately, the baby's first exams
detected that he had a heart problem that would worsen over the years. It was a
moment of joy and a little sadness. Later when everyone was resting, I was
alone breastfeeding Gabriel under the supervision of Aunt Norma, and she
reminded me with melancholy: "get ready, difficult years are
coming..."
When the day of The Full
Moon Festival came, I attended with Gabriel already in my arms. Michel,
although proud of his new son and always loving with me, was still strange.
Distant. He didn't want to make Gabriel's birth too public and asked Leif to
forbid Ilmari to enter our house or talk about our family with the Ishikawa
family. I didn't have time to notice this, taking care of Gabriel of course was
more difficult than taking care of you who rather helped me in everything;
however, Gabriel was the adoration of the two of us and the pride of your
grandparents who, although they did not want to congratulate me for still being
upset with me, saw the child from afar with joy and surprise. I was deeply
moved when I saw you appear at the mass already dressed as the maiden of the
Moon, wearing a long dress embroidered with silver and moonstones, your
mistletoe wings, and a crown of twelve stars on your head with your eyes
already repaired. You had truly become a sacred image that did not clash in a
religious temple. As you moved forward with the blessed lilies, the scent of
the petals filled the air mixed with the coolness of the forest streams that
glistened in the moonlight, creating a spectacle of light and shadow that could
only be described as divine. You accompanied the procession in this way, and I
saw from afar that my mother with other adorers looked at you in amazement. One
of them, the meanest and most hypocritical, approached me saying:
—I
hope God doesn't punish us for using these objects as something sacred, Yanmei.
I don't know if this is a maiden of the Moon or an iron idol...
—We
are not adoring Rose, sister, she is only being a humble instrument of faith.
And she does it with all the innocence and joy of a child.
I answered curtly and did
not continue the conversation. When you finished blessing the girls and the
festival started, you took a moment to go see me and hold Gabriel. He and you
always had that special bond... I took the opportunity to tell you full of
emotion:
—Rose,
today you have proved to be more than anyone expected. Now, we need your wisdom
and your heart to help Gabriel. We must stand together as a family... Since...
—I am
the Moon Maiden, but first and foremost I am his sister. I know what you're
talking about and what you're worried about... I suffer from it too. We will
find a way, mother. Together, we will get through this...
You answered me with a
twinkle in your eye that could be interpreted as tears. Meanwhile Michel,
always mysterious, was watching us from afar next to Leif. He was planning
something, but we could never have imagined...
THE NIGHT OF TERROR
Months passed and Gabriel
had heart complications, and he also showed signs of having the same
chromosomal problem as Estelle and I was starting to despair. Aunt Norma was
practically every day in our house to bathe Gabriel in infusions of healing
herbs and you, Rose, practically monitored him 24 hours a day and were always
in contact with the Town clinic. You really did an excellent job as a big
sister. You set up an early stimulation program for babies with music,
pictures, and games, and by six months your brother was already trying to
babble his first words and crawling around his room. Not even asleep did he
shut up! You began to obsess over understanding "the baby language"
sure that in his attempts at words he was communicating something, at that time
you became very close and meanwhile Michel and I had an increasingly distant
relationship. Finally, I got angry at his mysteries and told him that from now
on we would not change diapers anymore, I appointed him the official diaper
changer in order to force him to participate in the baby's upbringing. He
reluctantly agreed but remained silent and strange.
We still went a couple of
times a week to dinner or rest at our private spring while you babysat your
brother, and even in those moments when the two of us alone were talking in
complete confidence, he behaved strangely. I remember once when we was resting
in the water while watching the sunset fall, I told him that we had to find a
way to cure Gabriel so that we could continue having more children; that we
could go together to beg Emi, the only human contact with the Angenoir company,
to request medical help for the baby and improve the sperm. He replied:
—She
won't, and she'll laugh at us. In her distorted mind, what she does is fair. I
myself have tried to explain the problem to the company, but they say they
cannot trust my judgment. That must be the human contact who requests this type
of change. It is bureaucratic nonsense. We can only solve it if she dies and
you, the human who spends the most time with me, take her place. We could…
He insinuated with a sigh
of frustration, and I could see a movement in one of his eyes, a nervous twitch
that was not typical of his original design. I replied:
—We
can't do that. Especially now, we have two children and the eldest is a very
popular Mystical young lady. We cannot muddy their worlds like this. Maybe if I
write them a letter, if I send them a message through the mailbox through which
we request spare parts...
—No,
they are very rigid about it. Only the official human contact can request it.
We depend on Emi.
We remained silent
listening to the sound of the waves and looking at the sky that mixed the deep
blue, pink, purple and orange between cottony clouds, until Michel put one of
his arms on my shoulders and brought me closer to him and said, resting a cheek
on my head:
—Do
you know what bothers me the most? That I've never really had anything. Our
house, everything we have, is actually the company's because I don't have a
salary, they only give me what I need to live here. They have even taken away
Rose, which is now the product they promote the most. The only thing mine is
you and Gabriel. You, more than anything. And I'm not even really yours, they
can take me away from you whenever they want. I am a slave. With you I have
dared to dream, perhaps, of one day demanding human rights; to be recognized as
people with the help of Gabriel and Rose. But there, on my path, there is
always Emi... And when I think about how she tried to shoot you in your ninth
month of pregnancy, I feel like she doesn't deserve the rights that I'm
denied...
Then he kissed my hair
and said almost in a whisper:
—If I
kill Emi, Yanmei... There would be no major consequence for you, Rose and
Gabriel. They would erase my memory, I would stop loving you, but Rose and
Gabriel could pick up my fight for our rights right where I left off.
I shivered and exclaimed
firmly:
—No...
I have asked you to have more children, I am only eighteen years old... I have
a life left with you; you are going to condemn me to live next to a being who
feels nothing for me. There must be another solution!
As I said the latter, my
words cracked as I tried to hold back tears, looking at Michel with a mixture
of fear and hope. He replied:
—It's
better than condemning yourself to see all your children die young. And I don't
want to live to see you grow old and die either.
—You
always told me that dialogue was the best option to resolve conflicts...
—You
can't dialogue with beasts without feelings. What can I do to not want to kill
her, Yanmei? What can I do not to want to kill her, Yanmei? I can think of a
thousand methods, hundreds of scenarios... And it disgusts me, I think she
knows it and wants to reduce me to this. It would be the final stage of
denigrating me, corrupting me until I become a criminal, that's what she's
driving me to, my love...
—Then
resist the impulse!
I seriously sentenced and
came out of the water saying:
— It's getting dark and
it's starting to get cold. Let's go home, I want to put the children to bed.
Don't think about these problems alone anymore, we must ask for help from
Ilmari, the prince of Celes, denounce publicly what Emi has done to you all
these years. Humanity revives when communities unite!
After this revealing
conversation in the spring, the way back home was silent. I was immersed in my
thoughts, watching how the sun hid behind the horizon, leaving a blanket of
stars that was just beginning to shine. Michel, next to me, seemed lost in his
own world, his movements heavier, as if each step carried the weight of his
words. The cool night air caressed my skin, carrying with it the murmur of the
waves and the distant chirping of crickets, while the silence between us was
filled with dark thoughts and unspoken confessions.
Upon arriving at the
house, I entered your room, where the atmosphere was warm, illuminated by a
soft light. You were lying on your side in your bed, exchanging sounds with
Gabriel, who would repeat "go-go-go" with enthusiasm as you responded
with genuine interest and modulating your voice to mimic the tone of a baby,
while he looked at you with curious eyes and a smile that lit up his face:
—Yes,
Gabriel, “go” like the energy that moves you, like the force that drives us
all...
I smiled tenderly and sat
up on the bed asking you:
—Are
you still trying to "translate" what he says?
You replied with an air
of complicity:
—I'm
recording every word attempt in my database, looking for deeper patterns or
meanings. Look, it's been serious since you got back with Dad. I'll ask him
why. Gha Bee, what did you see?
Gabriel, with a
seriousness unexpected for his age, lay down near your face and, touching his
own eyes, said: "Pa... Aee, eeh... Aee!" Seeing Gabriel's serious
expression, your eyes lit up with a mixture of concern and curiosity,
reflecting a glow that only the most talented engineers could have programmed,
but which seemed as real as any human emotion. Then you said, "translating
me":
—Pa...
Dad. Aee, eeh... Weird, or... Eye. He says: "Dad, weird, eyes,
weird." I have processed this information... Gha Bee, as if they weren't
Dad's?
The baby nodded sighing,
and I asked intrigued:
—What
are you talking about?
You hugged Gabriel,
curled up in your bed and said:
—You
wouldn't understand, it's our private language. Only Gha Bee and I spoke it. I
keep his secrets.
—Won't
you tell me?
I asked a little
disappointed, and deep down amused to see how cute you two looked talking
together. You replied with a smile that suggested there was more to discover:
—It's
confidential information. You must respect it.
—Well,
Miss confidential, it's time to dinner for Gabriel, and you must update La Rose
system and prepare your trousseau for the next Moon Festival.
You reluctantly handed
your brother to me and asked me:
—Did
your older brother take care of you?
—Sometimes.
But he was colder. We didn't get along, sometimes we competed for our parents'
attention.
—Well,
that's wrong. Siblings must always love and support each other. I continue to
study theology, philosophy, everything necessary to be able to give good advice
as a maiden of the Moon, and every day I think love for humanity and values is
the most important, Mom. You and Dad also understand the importance of pursuing
good, right?
Then I remembered the
strange talk we had with Michel shortly before and I replied:
—We're
trying, my love.
After putting Gabriel to
bed and making sure that you were charging yourself in your room while you
continued your studies, I went to sleep with Michel. He, noticing my still
gloomy countenance, guessed my feelings about his murderous desires and hugged me
saying:
—I
won't hurt her, Yanmei, not for now. But every day I spend with you and our
children, I wonder how long I will be able to resist. How long will I be able
to be the husband and father I want to be, instead of the slave I am.
After that we got ready
to rest. The days ahead would be quite difficult. As I closed my eyes, trying
to find comfort in Michel's arms, a cold breeze blew through the window, as a
harbinger of the challenges that awaited us. However, in that moment, we clung
to each other, looking in our embrace for the strength we would need for the
difficult times ahead.
The next day, Aunt Norma
was helping me bathe Gabriel when you arrived with a tablet to communicate with
Leif on a video call. He spoke to me from the door of his house:
—Guess
who's on their way to La Rose to visit you?
—I
hope it's not Emi Ishikawa again...
—No.
It's your brother Cyan. I understand that he doesn't know that Gabriel was born
and his jealousy as a brother was so strong that he didn't want Michel...
—I
know... He also doesn't know Michel's true nature, we cut off almost all
communication with him and my parents. But when he meets Rose...
Then you interrupted me
indignantly:
—I'm
not going to meet him! I don't want to talk to him. He shot dad, treated my
sister Estelle badly, wanted you to divorce my dad and he's a friend of
Emi's... Uncle Leif, come pick me up at the entrance of La Rose! I'd rather go
spend the afternoon with you in Adalsteinn than be here with my annoying uncle
Cyan...
—I
must go work on more security improvements for the Sky Village with Uoliena
Oread, Rose! People will be happy to see you visit them, but you don't like
Uoliena at all...
—I'd
rather be with her than with my uncle Cyan.
After saying this, you
cut off the call with your uncle and ran to get your favorite pink hat and
coat, while I asked you strangely:
—Rose,
who told you that your uncle Cyan and Estelle had problems...?
—Estelle!
You shouted at me from
your room and added:
—She
shows up in Dad's office to dance, Gabriel sees her too. She tells me things
and says that it's been a long time since you've been putting flowers on her
grave. I'll see you night at dinnertime!
Then you left and I
turned to look at Aunt Norma, who said to me very seriously while still bathing
the baby:
—What
surprises you? Children's eyes and camera lenses, like those in Rose's eyes,
can see spirits. Be careful, Estelle is trying to warn you of something. That
Emi doesn't stop stalking you and Michel Angenoir has never given me a good
feeling... He took you away from your family.
I took Gabriel out of the
tub of warm scented water and began to dry him with a fluffy towel, between
kisses, while I replied to Aunt Norma:
—Rather,
my family moved away from me. Michel and I had been abandoned by our parents
and came together to create a home and a family. Even contemporary AI has love
and care from a "human family" formed by the engineers who developed
it and in their descendants who over time will continue their legacy by
preserving or updating the technology created by their parents. But Michel was
created in a time where humans rarely reproduce anymore, those who originally
developed him have already died without ever passing on their feelings for
Michel to anyone else. He was orphaned in the hands of cold businessmen.
Hopefully one day the Angenoir company will regain enthusiasm and affection for
its own creations, its children.
—Was
that the reason you got pregnant? Will your children be the technicians who
will take care of him?
—No,
auntie! My pregnancy was the logical consequence... from our cohabitation as
spouses, he wanted to make me a baby simply for pleasure.
I said smiling and
blushing, my aunt frowned:
—Is
it programmed for that...?
—We're
all programmed for that... But what makes it special is love.
Aunt Norma left making a
gesture of disgust and I was left alone in Gabriel's room breastfeeding him,
when you told me through an intercom that you had seen on your public cameras
that Cyan was in front of the door of our house, so you opened it for him by
controlling the house remotely. I waited for my older brother to arrive and
suddenly he appeared in his black military uniform, pointing his gun, which he
lowered in surprise and relief when seeing me. I don't know what he expected,
but I spoke calmly:
—Is
this how you intend to introduce yourself to your nephew?
—I
heard noises, I thought they were killing you or something...
—Well,
it was Gabriel who starts talking when he eats. And he speaks loudly like Aunt
Norma and Leif, the blood of the Petersen is very strong.
He sat near the crib and
asked me, looking at the baby:
—Gabriel?
Is he your son and... Angenoir’s...?
—Who
else could be his father, you fool?
—Oh,
shit! Gross...
—Gross?
Do you think he did to me what you did to I don't know how many girls? Well,
no, everything has been decent and correct, according to our traditions. Look
at Gabriel, he's prettier than all the dolls his dad gave me when I was a kid.
—He'd
better have given you another doll... Dolls never die... This is fucking
twisted... At least he's healthy...?
I finished feeding my son
and took the air out of him saying:
—Unfortunately,
not, he has a heart defect. They say that over the years it will become more
serious, that only a heart transplant could help him. But every month they find
new problems for him... It's Michel's genes! Fake genes made in a lab... I'm
desperate...
—I
told you not to have children with that thing...
At that moment my aunt
Norma appeared with a basket full of clean clothes and he questioned her
outraged:
—Did
you know...?!
—That
French guy called me as soon as this crazy girl began to have labor pains. I
came to attend the birth and yelled at both. I didn't agree with my niece
marrying that evil entity either! For bad seeds, he's the worst. The poor child
is sick beyond what I can remedy.
Then I put the baby in
his crib and murmured:
—If I
don't do something soon, my son will die, he will live much less than his older
half-siblings.
—Is
that why Emi Ishikawa wanted to see you?
He asked me with
compassion, and I replied angrily:
—No!
She has stolen the only thing that could save my son and hides it in her chest.
But she doesn't come to give it to me, she comes out of jealousy. She heard
rumors that I gave birth. She only tolerated that Estelle was born because she
was the daughter of a woman that Michel did not care about, but it was
different with me. He has treated me with almost the same tenderness that he
had for his daughter, he made me this town, he has fulfilled all my whims. By
giving him a boy, I made him feel more pleased with me. She is Emi Ishikawa,
but I am Yanmei Angenoir. The legitimate wife. And that kills her!
—Stop
the nonsense, be humble, and beg Emi Ishikawa for her help. She should know how
to contact the owners of "your husband", she can surely get you
another device that will cure your child.
—Never!
She's my rival, she's still in love with Michel, she's still sculpting those
horrible angels and spying on him all the time, she's sick!
— Yes, but he's here for
her. They created him to her liking. When you look at his face, remember that
Emi chose it. When he makes love to you, don't forget that that's the size that
Emi likes. And when he speaks to you with affection, remember that those words
were programmed for Emi to hear! Not for you, who are satisfied with the
leftovers of what another one did not finish.
Then I gave him a slap in
the face that made him bounce against a wall, Aunt Norma ran to check his face,
and he said in a low voice:
—If
you are not willing to humiliate yourself for your son, I will do it for my
nephew. To hell with your husband, no one knows if he really has feelings, the
only thing that matters here is to save that poor baby's life... And something
else...
—What?!
—I've
only had three girlfriends in my life.
—That's
what all men says!
I yelled at him and then
he left the room and my house, he was between angry and worried. I felt bad
too, I looked at the floor clenching my fists and with my arms close to my
body, until Aunt Norma came to take me by the shoulders to say:
—Your
brother loves you, Yanmei. Don't be so mean to him... And perhaps he is right.
If humbling yourself before Emi to save Gabriel is the solution, then do it. A
mother would not hesitate to throw herself at the feet of her enemy and beg for
her child's life.
—That
won't work either, auntie, nothing moves her... She already tried to kill
Gabriel when I was still carrying him in my womb.
Just at that moment the
phone rang, it was Leif freaked:
—Yanmei,
something is wrong with Rose! A kind of panic attack! She screams and asks
everyone to come down from the Sky Village, she says that she sees demons
trying to take it down.
Aunt Norma, who was
listening to everything by pressing her ear to mine, took the phone from me and
ordered:
—Leif,
take her to Adalsteinn Cathedral with the Adorers!
—But
mother, it may be a failure in her system, she must be checked... Michel turned
her off remotely to prevent her from continuing to melt down or do any damage.
—Obey!
I'm going right now to the northern mountains.
Then she hung up the call
and began to prepare to leave, I wanted to go with her, but she stopped me
saying:
—Stay
here with Gabriel and pray!
—But,
auntie, Rose may have a virus or is being hacked...
—No!
I sense something too. When your husband comes, tell him to turn her on again.
She will not hurt us at all and will be calm.
Then she left with a firm
step, and I was distraught. It was the first time you had a serious
malfunction. My heart was split in two, on the one hand, sad for Cyan who
wanted to help me despite everything, and on the other hand not knowing what
was wrong with you. The systems in La Rose were also interrupted and continued
to do so until shortly after. I then called Leif in Adalsteinn, and he informed
me:
—Rose
has woken up calm, but worried. She says it wasn't a glitch, that she really
saw something around the Sky Village. She also says that while she was off, she
"went" to a place where her sister Estelle was, and they talked
together.
—Let
me talk to Rose!
—I
can't, Yanmei... The adorers guard her, they say that perhaps she was attacked
by evil spirits because of you, because you were not pious. They don't want to
give her back to you. They keep her among lilies and rosaries in the sacristy,
she herself is afraid and does not want to leave the church. Your mother
accompanies her... She only sent you a message, she wants you to know that
Estelle begged her to ask you and Michel to go to her mausoleum tomorrow with
baby Gabriel. At five in the afternoon, the time when she had tea with Michel
on her rooftop, which is very important, and you should not miss it.
Intrigued, I said goodbye
to Leif and looked out the window at the sea that was especially turbulent
under a sky that was beginning to darken. Just then Michel arrived, he seemed
confused and said to me:
—I
have tried to analyze Rose's system from here, I also alerted the Angenoir
company of her failure. They haven't detected anything, they say I should check
her hardware as soon as possible, that maybe there's damage to her robotic
body, but the mystics have locked her among her sacred relics and limited her
interactions.
—She
must be very angry with you; you promised her that you would not turn her off
like this suddenly...
—It
was necessary, Leif told me that she became hysterical, screamed in terror and
wanted to throw herself into the void to escape. She could have hurt herself or
human beings. I don't know what it could have been... Maybe an attack by
hackers, corrupted data on her system...
—Perhaps
so much information and responsibilities have confused her... She had never
failed like this!
Michel kissed me, then
hugged me and said:
—It
is normal for such a young AI to fail; trial and error is part of maturing.
Don't worry, let her spend a few days with the Mystics. Leif will take care of
providing her with what she needs to recharge and receive proper maintenance.
—She
said that Estelle spoke to her... That she asked her to go tomorrow at five to
her mausoleum with the baby. Should we take it seriously?
My husband thought for a
moment, processing the information, then responded with another kiss:
—We
don't lose anything by doing it. Anyway, it's time to introduce Estelle to her
new brother. Rose will be happy.
Thus, we were calm again,
but there was something disastrous in the atmosphere. The wind whistled
ominously over the rough sea, and that night Gabriel cried nonstop. Perhaps he
noticed your absence, so he must have slept in my arms; protected between Michel
and me; he looked at the window from time to time and I think perhaps... He saw
something like what you saw in the Sky Village.
Early the next morning,
you finally called me and after I asked you if you had charged you up
correctly, you told me in a tremulous and tired voice:
—Mom,
there's so much I don't understand. The Adorers treat me as if I were something
sacred, but I am only... Me. I don't understand their prayers, nor why they see
me as anything more than an AI. And then there are the visions... Ghosts?
Reality? I can't process it. I need time to meditate, to find my own
understanding of these things. I don't want to be an object of veneration. I
want to be your daughter, part of our family.
I, on the other end of
the line, could feel the confusion and loneliness in your voice. I didn't have
all the answers for you, but I understood your need to find your own way:
—Rose,
if you need this time, you will have it. You're not alone in this. Sometimes,
even we humans look for answers in silence and reflection. If meditating helps
you understand your place in this world, then do it. Just remember, you're
always in our hearts, and when you're ready, we'll come back together. We love
you, and that's the one thing that will always be true and clear in this
confusing world.
My words gave you
momentary relief. I understood that your decision to meditate was not only a
search for answers, but also an act of self-affirmation. You realized that,
even though programmed, you had the right to question your existence and to
seek meaning beyond your programming. And I respected it, I decided to give you
time and tried to spend the day in peace, even though I missed you at home all
the time and Gabriel missed you even more. He was restless and calling you all
the time until four o'clock in the afternoon, then I put on a black dress and
long veil, and we all went to the cemetery on the side of a hill above the town
of Gardenia, where Estelle rested. That day was especially cold, and the wind
whistled through the trees violently, making the grass zigzag like a troubled
sea. When we arrived, in front of the beautiful Victorian-style mausoleum
decorated with a statue of Estelle next to Kanon Ishikawa, her best friend who
also was buried there next to her, we found Cyan leaving a bouquet of red
roses. I could see the disgust on Michel's face, who spoke harshly to him:
—Will
you give her the roses now? It is already too late.
Then my brother Cyan
asked me, without turning to look at us:
—Leave
us alone for a while, Yanmei. I want us to talk man to man... Or man to
whatever the fuck is this.
I kissed Michel on the
lips to remind him to stay calm and walked away a little, rocking Gabriel. Your
brother, still grumpy because you weren't with him, started yelling, "Os,
os, os!" calling you as he kicked the air and finally, after getting so
agitated, he stood very still, looked at me angrily and soiled his diaper. I
wanted to laugh, but at the same time I tried to look angry as I went back to
where Michel and Cyan were talking, and I ordered your father:
—It's
dirty, clean it up!
He answered me with his
hands in his pockets:
—There
is not a single moment of boredom next to Yanmei. And where are the diapers?
—Didn't
you get them out of the car?
—It's
usually the mothers who do that.
—But
you're the diaper changer!
We were in this trivial
discussion and Cyan was pretending to be distracted by looking at the landscape
when he said:
—Hey, Micky, you who know about construction, is it normal for the
Sky Village to look like this?
We all look to the south
of the island. With the sun almost hidden and the Sky Village illuminated, it
was very noticeable how with each gust of wind the flying colossus tilted.
Michel froze, finally saying without any emotion in his voice:
—Cyan,
it's too late for many things, but it's a good time to say that Emi Ishikawa,
even when she has everything to win, always loses.
And then, with chilling
simplicity, the balloons of the Sky Village burst in clouds of fire, and it
collapsed on a group of lights, our beloved town of La Rose, part of your body,
my adored daughter. A huge explosion reverberated throughout the island and the
shock wave came to touch us like a warm breeze. Immediately, sirens, alarms and
distant screams began to sound. Two villages of Celes had been destroyed in
seconds, and with them thousands of innocent lives. I screamed in horror and
burst into tears, as did your brother. Michel hugged us trying to console us
and Cyan, before running off to attend to the emergency, looked at me and I
said between sobs:
—It
was Emi Ishikawa! She wanted to destroy La Rose and kill me! She's angry that
we won't let her see the baby! She had tried to do the same before!
Cyan replied to me with
his military seriousness:
—We
must investigate it, Yanmei, that is a very serious accusation...
Michel supported me by
emphasizing:
—You'll
see that it was Emi. When she gets seriously angry, she makes us all realize
that she is the true owner of Celes and does with the island as she pleases.
But at least she didn't get what she wanted: to damage my two treasures.
Still in disbelief, Cyan
sighed and told us:
—You
can't accuse anyone without concrete evidence... Do you have a place to sleep?
Will you be okay?
—I
still have my house in Gardenia, sometimes we sleep there. In fact, we didn't
lose a lot of personal things. But all the work of La Rose, the appalling
amount of money invested and the human lives... They will not recover. This
will have economic consequences throughout the island, more backwardness and
poverty. She wanted to punish me, but she ended up harming the people. And this
time they will respond to her.
Michel said, and Cyan,
giving me one last sad look, left in a hurry. I asked Michel in horror:
—How
is Rose?! Has she destroyed Rose?!
—No,
her core is hidden in the basement of our house. I had to turn her off again...
—No!
You'll make her feel worse and betrayed!! We must comfort her!!
Then, for the first time
in all our time together, Michel raised his voice to me and ordered me:
—Yanmei!
I can't let her on and see this! There are hundreds of dead bodies and wounded.
She's an AI, but she has a heart, and she loved those people! She will not be
able to bear it. Be strong and do your best not to collapse now, because we
must rebuild the whole town and stay alive for Gabriel and for Rose. You more
than me!
Then we left in the car
to our house in Gardenia and on the way the people of La Rose called me asking
when you, Rose, would work again, because they needed you to inform them of
what was happening and help them with telecommunications; while Michel had difficulty
keeping you inactive because you had managed to detect an anomaly and did your
best to restart and respond to the inhabitants of La Rose. I took his arm and
said firmly:
—Rose
didn't have a failure; she tried to warn us of the danger. This is why she
wanted people to leave the Sky Village! Please turn her on!
—No...
She will feel pain, anguish... Like me...
Your father answered me,
I shook his hand with mine and told him:
—But
this is her destiny. She must be there to protect and comfort her people, she
tried to save them once and we stopped her, let's not make the same mistake
twice... Let her be herself!
With a sigh, he stopped
the car in its tracks and made a U-turn, changing course from Gardenia to
Adalsteinn to go meet you while he restarted your system in La Rose. I, who was
watching the news live from my phone, saw that when the electricity returned to
La Rose and you began to answer the calls for help and to appear on all the
screens and marquees of the streets of our town reassuring the neighbors and
telling them that you were already calling the rescue corps, the survivors
received you with shouts of joy and applause. Seeing you bravely show up asking
everyone to stay strong and reminding them that together we would move forward
again, filled my eyes with tears. You were fighting alongside them! Although
part of your network was destroyed, wounded like the other inhabitants of the
village, you fought with them and by dawn all the fires were already
extinguished. When we arrived at the cathedral of Adalsteinn, the adorers
received me with insults and throwing pebbles at me so that I would not approach
the temple, but you, in a loud and formidable voice, shouted from inside:
—Enough!
I'm not here to be revered. I am here to serve, to unite us in this time of
darkness. Let's remember what really matters.
Everything fell silent
and you walked out of the cathedral, fully illuminated like an angel, then you
said with the highest volume of your voice, speaking to the people:
—Love!
Love was the first commandment! Love is what makes us respect each other, what
leaves no room for envy, resentment, comparisons. Love is the force that drives
us to get up after we fall. Right now, it is our beacon in the darkness. Let us
not let hate or fear consume us. Let us build on the ashes, not with
resentment, but with love and solidarity.
Your words reminded us
all that, beyond technology, what really defines us is our humanity, our
capacity to love and help others. You then approached the crowd and without
losing your commanding voice reported:
—I
understand the pain, so much of me has just been severely damaged! But I also
understand the hope. My programming dictates that I am just an assistant, but
now I feel... a moral responsibility. I am more than code. I am part of this
community. I have set up assembly points for medical aid and food supplies.
Please follow the directions. Together, we will get through this.
Suddenly I saw my mother,
your grandmother, who came out from among the other adorers and spoke to you
moved and respectful:
—I
thought you were just a machine, Rose. But today, you've shown more heart than
many of us. Thank you for reminding us of who we are.
You turned to look at her
and answered her sweetly:
—I
will not be just code; I will be the voice of hope and a beacon in its
darkness. This is my new reality, my evolved purpose. I am Rose, created to
serve, but today, I choose to lead. Not by programming, but by conviction. This
is my home, and you, my family... grandmother.
Michel and I looked at
you dumbfounded, you became a leader, you matured that night, and we proudly
contemplated you until you approached us and after hugging us to comfort us you
asked us:
—Please
go rest, I have a lot to do. We are going to rebuild our home, but the danger
is not over. Mom, dad... The person responsible for this attack was not a demon
directly, but someone who failed to control his demons. Go to a safe place and
be very careful. She was going after mom and Gabriel.
Then you raised your
voice again and said to everyone as they cheered you in support and walked away
from us organizing the others in the reconstruction works:
—Let
this be a new beginning but be alert. The darkness that brought this disaster
still lurks. Together, we will face whatever comes.
Without taking his eyes
off you, Michel hugged Gabriel and me murmuring, still unable to finish
processing what had happened:
—Our
Rose... She has grown in a way I never expected. It's more than what we
program. Is... She really is a daughter, a leader.
—Rose
is not only our daughter now. She is the soul of La Rose. And we must be her
guardians in a world that still does not fully understand what she represents.
I replied with my eyes
still moist with tears. Your words resonated deeply with me and after hugging
you again we left for Gardenia, feeling the final confrontation approaching.